Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Dude With World’s Biggest Dong Offers Jon Hamm Advice On Dealing With A Big Dong

jon hamm penis

Jon Hamm has a big dong and is really sick of you talking about it. Now you know what it feels like to be Christina Hendricks and have everyone comment on your boobs all the damn time. Sucks, right? Sorry, Hamm.

Jonah Falcon has a 13.5 inch penis, so he really knows how to deal with having a big dong. He offers some advice, and I must be a 10-year-old boy, because I cracked up. From The Huffington Post:

“I’m willing to bet his problem is his balls,” Falcon told The Huffington Post. “Balls cause the most bulges. His penis is not going down his pant leg like mine.”

Falcon has been known to wear bicycle shorts to accentuate the goods, but other times he takes pains to distract attention from his crotch by keeping his wallet, keys and other objects in his pockets.

“I prefer constriction myself,” Falcon said. “As you get older, your balls drop and need support. If it’s his penis that’s causing the problem, he can point it up like European men.”

He may not like the attention, but Hamm hasn’t had the experience of Falcon, who was frisked by TSA officials who were convinced the bulge in his pants was a weapon.

Falcon said Hamm would be better treating any comments with good humor and silence. “He needs to just nod and chuckle, but not answer any questions,” Falcon said.

Do you understand how little I must have in life that Dongwatch is this interesting to me? OH WELL!

Mr. Falcon is right, though. The more you ask people to stop talking about your dong, the stronger the talk about your dong will be. That shit’s like Voldemort, you can’t keep it down.

3 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Jon should just let it go :) I’ve seen pictures down his leg, bulging in the front ! I’ll take it anyway I can :) I’m like a little giddie school girl when I see a picture I have to e-mail all my friends ! Guys have tits to look at so give us something because honestly it’s not often we see such a great specimen !!!!

  • I have no life either, kiddo, because the Hamm Dong is the most wonderful gift to the Internet since…. (discuss amongst yourselves, I’m a little verklempt).

    I just want to go to a Wendy’s drive through and order a chilli, a baconator, a large fries and oh yeah, …. A Hamm Dong! Squeal!