Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Who Is John Mayer Creeping on Now?

A photo of John Mayer

When I think of John Mayer creeping on someone, I think of Taylor Swift, natch. I mean, sure, she might have “really humiliated” him with that “Dear John” song she wrote about him, but let’s not forget that he got with her in the first place, and hey, that’s creepy. It’s not even that she was “too young to be messed with,” as she sings in the song, it’s that she’s Taylor Swift. There are some younger women who are smart and capable of handling themselves in mature relationships, even with older dudes, but then there are other younger women who think that “Prince Charming is just one castle away. And you’re gonna run across a field and meet each other in the middle and have an amazing, perfect movie kiss. And it’s gonna be happily ever after.” Guess which one Taylor is?

But we’re not here to talk about John Mayer and Taylor Swift, because that’s old, old news. No, we’re here to talk about what John Mayer desires right now. And who could that be?

Looks like lusty lothario John Mayer has set his sights on a new target after he was spotted flirting-up a storm with Jennifer Lawrence, is exclusively reporting.

And, what better way to woo a fair maiden than by dressing like Friar Tuck? John, Jennifer and a group of rowdy pals hit the Medieval Times in Los Angeles on Saturday night, each dressed in clothes straight out of 1350, but Mayer only had eyes for the Hunger Games hottie.

You could scarcely tell John’s body is a wonderland under his puffy shirt and knickers tucked into lace up boots, and Jennifer was the fairest of them all in her delicate bodice. John paid special attention to Hollywood’s latest ‘It’ Girl all night and she was clearly loving the attention!

“It was almost like she was a little nervous being around him. She kept giggling and covering her mouth. It was cute,” an eyewitness dishes.

“And John was eyeing up Jennifer like he was a dog and she was a juicy pork chop! When he lays on the charm he lays it on real thick!”

Of course John was busting out his best moves and impressing everyone with his famous wit. “He’s really well read so he kept using his knowledge of the medieval era to make puns and crack everyone up. He was even putting on an English accent at times and ordering ‘beer-eth.’ Jennifer thought he was a riot. It was like a freshman having a crush on the captain of the football team.”

Alas though, Mayer did not take his fair maiden that night, as he went out carousing with his cast of merry men at the Palihouse in West Hollywood after the jaunt.

But, another source recently spotted Jennifer shopping with John and Zooey Deschanel on trendy Melrose Avenue. “John could hardly take his eyes off Jennifer. It looked like he was totally smitten!

“At one point he was walking along behind her and massaging her shoulders.”

However, this could be one lady that won’t fall for the singer’s well-honed charms. Lawrence has been dating Nicholas Hoult, 22, for the past two years and according to reports the couple are “madly in love.”

Is it just me, or does it sound like this “source” is just really bad at reading people? Because I can see Jennifer Lawrence “giggling and covering her mouth” over John Mayer, but not because of any kind of crush. It seems like it would be more of an “oh my god, this guy is so embarrassing, how is this happening in real life?” type of move.

Either way, Jennifer’s current boyfriend, Nicholas Hoult, definitely beats John Mayer. No question. Right?