“I always have my eyes out. I just read two days ago that Adam Levine is single again … I’m just saying. Look, we would be cute.”
OK, first of all, gross. I’m actually really grossed out by Adam Levine, and I’m not even sure why. I don’t know if it’s the whiny voice, or the beady little eyes, or if it’s a turn-off that he freely admits to barebacking with all of his girlfriends. I just don’t know. Second of all, how pathetic? Putting out a call for a date on a talk show? On Ellen’s talk show, nonetheless?
I’ve long been a fan of Jennifer Love Hewitt, and I know her idiosyncrasies like how she’s sort of desperate and can’t really keep a man for longer than a few weeks, and how, in that few weeks, she manages to whore him out on every occasion she gets so that he wants to retreat into a deep, dark hole (and not that one, unfortunately for her), only to never be seen in public again? Yeah. Because that’s just how it is.
Plus, despite my general distaste for Adam, he seems to only go for the uber-thin, uber-perfect supermodel type, and guys, let’s not delude ourselves here. Jennifer Love Hewitt is hot, but she’s no supermodel these days. A decade ago, sure. She was a hot ticket. But I think Adam’s more into the “get girls who every guy wants” schtick rather than the “get the girl who wants every guy” thing.