Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Here’s Matthew Broderick’s “Leaked” Super Bowl Commerical in its Entirety

Guess the guys at Honda just couldn’t wait for the Super Bowl to release Matthew Broderick‘s ‘Ferris Bueller’-themed commercial, because here it is. And it’s cute, I get it. It’s a spoof of Matthew Broderick in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. If you’ve ever seen the movie, you’ll know that a lot of it’s almost verbatim. Cute what they did there.

However, this commercial did nothing more than further convince me that Matthew Broderick is a gay man trying to live a straight man’s life while avoiding sex with Sarah Jessica Parker. The video screams it. What would Matthew Broderick be doing if he weren’t married to Sarah Jessica Parker? Well, probably a lot more than what he’s done in the past decade or so. He’d probably be doing more movies, more television appearances, more Broadway shows. But because his inert gayness sort of ekes its way into every crevice of each project he touches with his magic, Sarah Jessica Parker probably keeps him and whatever talent he’s got way down under lock and key, because why. Because Sarah Jessica Parker wouldn’t be able to deal with the public’s interest that their marriage failed because both of them hated her vagina.

But she’s got to look at it this way: Fran Drescher went through it. And it kind of brought her career back, I guess. Her career at least survived it. I mean, she gets interviews where she talks about aliens for f-ck’s sake. If that doesn’t say “Woo-hoo VIVA LA REVIVAL!” then I don’t know what does.

All I know is that maybe if SJP occasionally let Matthew off the hook on the wall in the bathroom, he might be able to do some interesting stuff. But forever living in the shadow of Parker’s phantom mole career is only going to oppress him further.

I feel for you, Matt, and I hope one day you can experience the kind of true freedom that your alter-ego Ferris Bueller always did. You owe him at least that, after all he’s really done for you.

1 CommentLeave a comment

  • I don’t know about gay, but he always seems miserable to me. He doesn’t even look like he’s having fun in this commercial.