Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Nancy Grace’s Gas Has a Buyer!

Photo: Nancy Grace on September 23, 2011

How carefully have you been following the Nancy Grace saga on Dancing with the Stars? That lady has awful luck. First her bosom flagrantly burst from her corset-style top; of course Ms. Grace insisted that viewers had only seen a pastie, rather than a nipple. But we all know the truth.

Next, myriad fans claim to have heard Nancy Grace ‘let ‘er rip’ on the October 3 episode of the dance competition. You be the judge! (For my own part, I think it sounds like a slightly gaseous tummy rumble, but TMZ’s audio is definitely clearer than the original opinion-forming video I first watched.)

Oh, Nancy. Deny, deny, deny.

Now, a group of flatulophilliacs—that is, a ‘farting fetish’ fan club—is asking Ms. Grace for licensing rights to the three-second clip of Grace’s toot. And they sent her a letter, too. The letter concluded,

Passing gas is as natural as breathing, and our members are waiting with baited [sic] breath.

Here are some Very Important Fart Facts (link possibly NSFW):

– Why do farts smell so awful? Hydrogen sulfide gas and mercaptans combine to produce the distinct odor of sulfur (AKA rotting eggs; brimstone). Meat and cauliflower will make your ‘bottom burps’ all the more colorful. Also, “the longer a fart is held in, the larger the proportion of inert nitrogen it contains.” Look out!

– Most gas directly results from “swallowed air.”

– Supposedly—although I suddenly can’t find any real substantiation for this—every human emits the same amount of gas daily. Which means that, if you are the type who carefully holds her gas in all day at work, you very likely poot in your sleep. Oh, no!

1 CommentLeave a comment

  • This gets my “nastiest image in my brain so far today” award. Nancy Grace naked a few days back from the nip slip was bad enough, but now, her farts? Ugh! Her ass trumpet, while funny (because farts are always funny), is not, and should never be, arousing to anyone.