That nondescript little “Merry Christmas” is just not going to cut it, so let’s get this done. I need you on this one. Paris needs you. We can pull from her cocaine possession shenanigans or all those times she got photographed this summer, boozing it up or that time she adopted 20 rabbits. She’s had such a full year, she and all her Christmas card recipients deserve more than a simple “Merry Christmas” without so much as an exclamation point.
Just power through this one, guys, then you can spend the rest of your Saturday however you want. However, Jeff Bridges is hosting Saturday Night Live tonight, and I would really appreciate it if we all kept our eyes out for the almost definite The Last Unicorn parody. Thanks a mil!
What does the inside of the card say? Have a Merry Skankmas and a Ho-bag New Year!”?
Santa will be only saying HO, HO as he left one HO at the North Pole.
“Close your legs, love, your meat smells!” says he.
“But it keeps the flies off me chips” says she.
or..
“It’s a Brand New Day-hay!”.
(see if you can get that one).
I’m a Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas!
Here to SPREAD the Holiday cheer
sure would like to have one of these Christmas cards