Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Kill Your Television … Like, Now.

If this isn’t reality TV Armageddon, then we haven’t seen shit yet, I guess.  Or maybe we have, with this illustrious array of tool-coated shit stinking up prime-time television these crazy days.

King Spencer Pratt’s production company, the aptly-named Pratt Productions, has its clouded, germy eye set on a concept for a new show: Fist-Pumping For Love.

I … just want to hang myself for even having typed that.

But anyway, Pratt claims he’s joining forces with Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi’s ex, Emilio Masella, to develop, produce and market his new show concept, which would feature Masella traveling ’round the US, trying to find his “real” Guidette princess. Masella, after being denied by The Real World (and you must be a total tool if you’ve been axed by that token cesspool collective of people) states that he doesn’t want fame (cough … yeahfuckinright), he just wants a “real” girl:

“I am tired of these fake Italian girls … I want a real guid-ette who can speak Italian, so we are prepared to take my search from Hollywood, Calif., to the streets of Howard Beach in Queens, N.Y.”

To be honest, it’s like choosing between chlamydia and gonorrhea. There is no lesser of two evils in this kind of circumstance.

Snooki’s probably rolling over in her … bed right now.  Which is probably littered with greasy condom wrappers, half-melted Hershey chocolate bar pieces, crunched-up Doritos and Mike’s Hard Lemonade bottle caps.

You’ve created a monster, Snook.  Great job.

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