Olympic gymnast Shawn Johnson appeared at the Espy Awards last night clad in something that can only be described “the exact same dress my 1970’s Marie Osmond Barbie wears.” Shawn: a) Who is your stylist? b) Does your stylist hate you? I’ll give you a clue: The answer to Part B is “Yes.”
There were a bunch of athletic-y, sports people there — probably because the Espy is a sports award — whose names I have in the picture file extensions. I recognize very few, but I was surprised to see Mike Tyson and Evander Holyfield at the same event. Word has it that Tyson was chasing Holyfield around with a fork in one hand and a salt shaker in another.
Dara Torres –I think she’s an Olympic swimmer — has me very upset. Or, more appropriately, her toes have me very upset. What the hell is wrong with those things? Her toes are completely disproportionate in length; her foot looks like it’s taking the Boy Scout pledge.
Venus Williams wore a dress purchased at the Bea Arthur’s Closet Memorial Silent Auction, and Brooke Burke had a very unfortunate pastie moment — you have to be a perv and look really closely to see what I mean — that made her look like she belonged on the cover of National Geographic.
Condi Rice attended — I don’t know why — and Michael Phelps was there with his mom aka Beet’s future mother-in-law. As an aside to Beet, she’s wearing zebra print. How bad can she be?
Finally, some football player named Jared Allen attended. You can’t miss his picture because he’s wearing a cowboy hat, western shirt and chaps. Look closely, and to Jada Pinkett Smith I say “This is how you are supposed to look right after having sex.”
As someone with very long toes I find your disgust mildly amusing and/or offensive.
Haha Shawn Johnson is from Iowa… we definitely have NO style here whatsoever! That’s why she looks the way she looks at the ESPYs.
What? I love her dress!
yeah, me too! i actually think it’s GORGEOUS
Ditto. Very pretty.
Perhaps my dirty mind is working overtime today but that object she is standing next to is a bit phallic.
hello? that’s what I was thinking, I have no comment about Shawn because I was so distracted by the penile projection, er Espy statue.
Thank you! First thought was whoa! what’s with the giant peen behind Shawn!!!!
Thats what I thought this post was about. Screw the girl in the pic, what the HELL is that huge dildo doing out?????
Am I the only one who thinks she looks great? What do you expect her to wear…she’s a gymnast with short, stocky body type. Give her a break.
Uh… her dress is adorable. I love it.
It looks better than that total SHIT dress Beet wore in NYC in the photos she plastered all over this site showcasing her greasy ass face and terrible hair.
Way to be a complete bitch. You seriously need to check yourself.
Get the fuck off the site if you have that much of a problem with Beet. You have a WHOLE lotta nerve. You hadn’t been provoked and that comment was total uncalled for.
I seriously can’t get over what a bitch some women are. You’ve got such BALLS saying that over the internet, don’t you think? Fuck off.
You sound fat
as much as I love beet, that’s so true. beet’s dress was terrible and the hair/make-up combo + shoes didn’t help either. :( sorry beet.
If you love beet so much, why even make a statement about her clothes/hair/make-up? Rather than just being a bitchy statement, it’s now a bitchy AND condescending statement.
I adore Shawn! And I’ll tell you what- she looks 100 times better than Beet did at that Z-list event she was at a couple weeks ago.
I hate to offend.. but when you criticize a gold-medal winning teenager’s wardrobe choices, expect it. And for the record, I think Beet is adorable- just had some unfortunate “styling.”
I love that dress. She looks adorable.
Man, poor Beet didn’t even write this and she’s getting the “beet-down” in these comments.
that’s what I was thinking. why is everyone so hostile towards the person who didn’t even write the post?
Beet’s comments on this blog about other ladies are tending to get more spiteful and less funny…
…issues to work out?
That “does her stylist hate her” joke was a whole lot of mean and very shy on the funny (and shy on the originality).
hmmm…. wendie wrote this post, not beet
I think Shawn’s dress is really cute. Jared Allen plays for the Vikings – great athlete, total hillbilly.
I too like Shawn’s dress & think that she’s a cute patute!
And Jared used to play for the Chiefs & we still miss him :-(
I actually copied this pic of him & emailed it to a couple of my girl friends. He’s was a great guy but you’re right a total hillbilly!
I actually think that dress is adorable. Along with the shoes and braclet.
I think the only reason it might look a little off to some people is from the wind blowing it.
oh Wendie….isn’t it about time you quietly went away?
I love her look! She looks great!