Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Jessica Biel Just Wants A Chance


Jessica Biel is on the cover of June’s Allure and like every other marginally talented actress, she blames her beauty as a stumbling block to success.  “Yeah, it [her breathtaking beauty] really is a problem.  I have to be blunt.”

I’m more convinced than ever that Biel is totally clueless.  She cannot fathom why a casting director would laugh at the mention of her name.  “I’m in there with everybody else, fighting for the good parts. Yes, The Illusionist has made a difference — but a huge, massive difference, so I can pick and choose what I want? No.  I just want an opportunity. If you don’t like the audition, don’t hire me!  But if you don’t want to even see me — that’s hurtful. And why? You know nothing about me!”

Really, Jessica?  Because I think people do know plenty about you.  And based on this review and this clip, I’d never let you into my office either.

27 CommentsLeave a comment

  • It’s a daunting puzzle.. why is monkey girl’s mouth upside down…? I guess Justy finally told her; get work or get OOOOUT!

  • In the interests of being fair, that review didn’t really slate HER, just the movie – in fact it kind of implied that the reviewer was sorry for the way the director ‘exploited’ her. ‘Grievously insulted’, I think the term was.

  • i am puzzled too! she just ain’t that ‘purty’. my daughter totally disagrees but honestly, ( just this once, setting aside my normal cynicalness), i really think she is at BEST just okay looking.

    am i missing something that everyone else can see?

    • No I am the same. I think it is the mouth. I dunno. Just something I can’t quite pinpoint that doesn’t work for me. She’s pretty, but I am not about to deem her breathtaking!

      • She’s just too fake looking. I realize that everyone in Hollywood has had work done, but the sculpted perfection of her cheekbones, nose, and lips – it just grosses me out. I feel like her face will start to fall in a few years.

  • I can’t figure out why everyone thinks she is so beautiful. She’s alright. But I have no idea how she made it to Hollywood.
    Every one of her features is plain, and not girl-next-door plain. Just, boring plain.

  • did the Illusionist really help? I didn’t think it was that great of a movie and I could not stand her accent in it… it was really driving me crazy. But props on her ass looking fabulous in those dresses she wore… i mean petticoats and corsets and whatever else goes into those period costumes and you could still see her ass… amazing… but yeah, not drop dead gorgeous. Perhaps it’s her lack of acting skills that attribute to the fact that she’s not landing roles… things that make you go hhmmmmmm….

  • she’s about as breathtakingly beautiful as Hilary Swank and, although kinda pretty, Hilary Swank is NOT “hot” (thank you Kevin Malone)

  • Completely agree with everyone. Jessica Biel is the most untalented actress in Hollywood. And she has a shaved-down nose that looks like the result of too much blow and rhinoplasty. And her lips are ridiculous.

  • I think it’s less that she’s beautiful and more that people want to gouge their eyes out after watching 5 minutes of her on screen.

  • Jessica, you idiot–complaints like this only work for genuinely beautiful, genuinely talented women, not marginally attractive B-movie actresses.

    You know, like Vivien Leigh. For some time she had difficulty being taken seriously as a real actress because she was so stunningly beautiful. But you know, she was Scarlett O’ Hara, and you are…uh…well, I can’t think of any parts that you’ve played. That probably means something.

  • I don’t get it either. I am not sure why, but she makes me want to slap her. I think I said in an early post that she reminds me of Kelly McGillis. Never got that either.

  • WORD everyone, word.
    i mean, if i recall correctly, HALLE BERRY has an oscar under her belt and she’s much more gorgeous than this bitch could ever dream of being.

  • Maybe it is her completely plastic nose or fake lips. Perhaps it her ridiculous man arms.

  • *prepare for a pms fueled rant, folks*

    this bitch need to up the dosage on her anti-meds!

    are you fuggin kidding me…?!?!

    “so I can pick and choose what I want? No. I just want an opportunity.”

    note to jessica boring:

    a small list of actresses who can pick & choose which projects the want:

    meryl streep
    halle berry
    nicole kidman
    julia roberts
    sandra bullock (uh, yeah…homegirl PRODUCES her own shit, k)
    cameron diaz

    they are privileged to so because…now listen closely, cause this is important…


    manly, it’s because their films make alot of dough for the studios.

    you are a ‘SUPPORTING ACTRESS’.

    get over it!

    there is nothing wrong with it.

    the are actors living & working in l.a. for years doing only commercial, bit parts, videos, etc. but they are working & making a living. most will NEVER be famous.

    but, i get why your so bummed…let’s see…you’ve been in:

    a successful tv series
    an action film
    a comedy
    a horror flick
    an ‘indie’

    and several other films.

    you have fame, a hot “i use that term loosely’ boyfriend & money.

    but since, you are so miserable…hopefully…and i only say this for your sake since you’re so UN-FUCKING-GRATEFUL…

    1-your accountant cleans runs off with every dime of yours
    2-justin dumps you & moves on to his darkmeat fantasy (ciara)
    3-you are serving someone coffee in fuckin’ denny’s by xmas

    no one likes and ungrateful crybaby.