Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Dear America: You Are Retarded

But please continue visiting our fine site and clicking on ads. Just stop voting for American Idol. Leave that to me, and other people who are not retarded.


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  • Hmmm. I’m trying to figure out why we are retarded. Is it because they voted off Sabrina instead of Hailey last night? Or is it because they voted off Sundance and the creepy eyebrow guy instead of Sanjaya? If it’s for the Sabrina/Hailey thing then I am right there with you. She sooooo deserved to stay over Hailey. If it’s for the latter, then I guess I’m one of the retarded because I HATED Sundance and the creepy eyebrow guy.

    Yes, Sanjaya has absolutely no personality or presence on stage and always looks like a gay pimp on performance night, but at least he mostly sings in tune. We all know he is not long for this show now that the top 12 has mostly good (and a few great) singers, but Sundance absolutely SUCKED! He had one decent performance out of the last 4 or 5 things we’ve seen him sing and all the rest were absolutely horrible. He has been getting by on personality and even that wasn’t very good. He soooo deserved to go. And the creepy eyebrow guy? He was an okay singer, but he was arrogant (and creepy). I knew that when he dedicated “Let’s Get It On” to his parents that there was just something wrong with the guy. And that weird hand move he did over his face that Ryan keeps making fun of? That just made me want to smack him. I’m so glad he’s gone.

    Hopefully Sanjaya or Hailey will be the next to go, but other than Sabrina, I was very happy to see the other 3 get booted out the door. So in my mind, only 1 in 4 Americans is retarded. Although if you were talking about the past 2 Presidential elections instead of AI, I’d have to say that changes to a 1 in 2 retarded ratio.