Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Lindsay Lohan Under Investigation

vintagelindsay Over the past couple of days, a story has been circulating that Lindsay Lohan was being investigated for the theft of $49,000 in jewels.  Lohan and theft go together like, well, like Winona Ryder and theft.  It's not really an exceptional tale.  However, now that People confirms that the value is more like $400,000 and Scotland Yard is involved, it feels a little more like a story worth discussing. The jewels in question are a necklace and earrings that Lindsay wore for an Elle U.K. photo sh...

It Must Be Love! Lindsay Talked Sam Into Wearing A Piece Of Jewelry

Ed: Pics removed because I guess photo agencies like their exclusives to remain exclusive. Silliness! Now that we've determined that America's favorite legging-clad celebrity has reconciled with America's favorite concert tee-clad DJ, they've taken to wearing matching necklaces.  And you just know these necklaces hold locks of each other's hair.  Who do these two think they are?  Billy Bob and Angelina? We, you and me and the rest of the general public, allknow that these two getting back together is a horrible idea.  But if you needed any further confirmation that this is a disaster-in-waiting, Michael Lohan has weighed in on the situation and was kind of, sort of, positive about it.  "I'm happy to see that while she (Lohan) was there (in London), Samantha had her business and Lindsay had her own and there was no turmoil. They were able to be in the same city abroad and there were no problems... Let's see what happens."  Anytime Michael Lohan thinks something is a good idea, I run in the opposite direction. Listen, when the most positive thing you can say about a couple is, "Hey, they were in the same city at the same time and the cops didn't have to get involved," this is a sign that things need to end.  For good.  Sam and Linds -- do you hear me? />Ed: Pics removed because I guess photo agencies like their exclusives to remain exclusive. Silliness! Now that we've determined that America's favorite legging-clad celebrity has reconciled with America's favorite concert tee-clad DJ, they've taken to wearing matching necklaces.  And you just know these necklaces hold locks of each other's hair.  Who do these two think they are?  Billy Bob and Angelina? We, you and me and the rest of the general public, allknow that these two getting bac...

Lindsay Lohan Feels Caged, Rolls Self In Ball

Lindsay Lohan I'm really shocked, because I thought Lindsay had been sober since going to Promises back in 2007 -- that's sarcasm, folks -- but I guess I was wrong.  Some dude who writes for Mirror, tells the tale of a caged Lindsay, texting Samantha Ronson, drinking vodka and generally freaking out at a nightclub. I’m used to celebrities getting wasted, making fools of themselves and larking around. But what I witnessed at London’s Cuckoo nightclub this week was beyond anything I’ve ever seen be...

Lindsay Lohan Goes Into Hiding To Avoid Death Glares Of Angry Designer

55017499lindsaylohan62200913025pm-1 Lindsay Lohan is slowly but surely destroying every aspect of the entertainment industry.  Movies?  Check.  Music?  Check.  Now she's got her bloodshot eyes focused on fashion.  And let's face it:  Lindsay Lohan's involvement with anything usually equals catastrophe.  She's the opposite of King Midas...everything she touches turns to failure.  Linds is in talks with House of Emanuel Ungaro about coming on board as a creative consultant.  And I ask:  would you accept creative consult...

Lindsay Lohan Comes Out Of Her Shell

I promise you, that's my only egg joke on this entire post.  Apparently, Lindsay went a little nuts last night pitching a fit and eggs over the fence of her house.  You can't actually see that it's Lohan hurling the little chicken abortions but aren't we all in agreement that it's totally her?  Doesn't she know we're in a recession?  Throwing perfectly good food at the heads of paparazzi just seems so irresponsible.  Couldn't she throw some leggings instead? Also, what kind of car is tha...

Since It’s Not Obviously Apparent, Dina Lohan Wants To Tell Everyone That She’s A Good Mother

57193625dinalohan582009122553pm Dina Lohan wants us to be nice to her for Mother's Day.  I make no Promises.  Promises...get it?  The place where all Dina's kids will eventually go to sober up. America's favorite Mom talked to People about the harsh and unearned criticism she is confronted with.  "We just wish people would leave us alone-at least for Mother's Day!"  Yes, Dina.  I'm so sure you wish to be left alone.  And what better way to be left alone than to attend every high profile Hollywood event that you can g...

Who Wants To Be The One To Let Lindsay Lohan Know That She Isn’t Marilyn Monroe?

lindsaylohannotmarilyn Lindsay Lohan continues her self-fulfilling prophecy tribute to Marilyn Monroe in a photo shoot for Spanish Vogue.  Listen, I think we all know that Lindsay is probably going to meet an early demise with pills scattered all around her skeleton-it's a completely plausible theory.  But that's really where the similarities end between the two.  The main difference between Marilyn and Linds is that Marilyn actually worked, cranking out a couple of movies each year of her career.  Oh, and Monroe actually ate food.  Why are c...

Lindsay Lohan Suddenly Realizes That Her Canned Tan Makes Her Look Atrocious

57329298lindsaylohan51200985942am Last night was the Sephora store launch of Lindsay Lohan's self-tanner, Sevin Nyne.  Linds appeared looking as patchy as ever and was joined by an attractive older woman or, you know, Ali Don't You Know Who I Am? Lohan. Maybe it's just me, but if I was charging $35 dollars for what is essentially orange spray paint the face of a revolutionary new tanning product, I'd exfoliate.  Or wear pants. My feeling is that Lindsay will be headed off to rehab soon.  Do you think they could add a th...

Lindsay Is On Ellen Today

57193493lindsaylohan423200975925am-1 I can't find a new and interesting way to pretend that I give a flying fig about Lindsay Lohan so I'm just going to report the deets of her Ellen interview so we can all proceed to the business of tuning in today and analyzing every hair extension flip and to see if she's wearing black leggings.  Oh, who am I kidding?  I'm tuning in to see how red her nostrils are. Linds talked about the one thing more difficult that having your love life played out in the media.  "When you don't know you're...

Lindsay Lohan Set To Appear On Ellen

57216300portiaderossi4212009102231am-1 Guys, I'm really sorry about this Linds news every single day.  You know how I feel about her, but these stories just keep popping up and I'm afraid that if I don't report them, Beet will punish me by making me watch a twenty-four hour-long compilation DVD of the works of Julia Roberts, or something as equally horrific. Anyway, Ellen DeGeneres and wife Portia de Rossi, or Double De as they are affectionately called by me, attended the 20th Annual GLAAD Media Awards in which Ellen won Outstanding...

When I Said, “Lindsay Is Back On The Pole,” I Didn’t Realize How Right I Was

57219520lindsaylohan4202009113225am-1 It appears that Lindsay Lohan is in talks to appear in a topless Vegas show.  Lindsay has impressive qualifications and certainly doesn't have any other job offers streaming in right now so I say, "Go for it!"  I must say that the dress she's wearing in these pictures indicates a need for a little, uh...fluffing of the pillows.  That inevitable gravity finally found our your girl's girls. Saturday night Lindsay attended the premiere of Peepshow, a Mel B. and Kelly Monaco production.  Mor...
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