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Vanessa Paradis

Johnny Depp’s Break-Up From Vanessa Paradis Was “Unpleasant”

johnny depp vanessa paradis

Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis were together for a long ass time before splitting about a year ago. There were lots of stories floating around about infidelity, Johnny getting bored, etc, but that’s neither here nor there. He’s all loved up with Amber Heard now, but he’s finally opening up about the mother of his children.

From Rolling Stone:

“The last couple years have been a bit bumpy. At times, certainly unpleasant, but that’s the nature of break-ups, I guess, especially when there are kiddies involved.”

“So for whatever reason that ­ceases, it doesn’t stop the fact that you care for that person, and they’re the mother of your kids, and you’ll always know each other, and you’re always gonna be in each other’s lives because of those kids. You might as well make the best of it.”

Well, it’s good to know they’re all being so mature, I guess? Their kids – 14-year-old Lily-Rose and 11-year-old Jack – have also apparently been “pretty understanding” about all of this. Lovely all-around.

Johnny Depp’s Ex Is Super Skeptical Of His Girlfriend

johnny depp amber heard rum diary

Johnny Depp may or may not be engaged to his (ex?) girlfriend Amber Heard, but if he’s not, rumor is he’s planning on it. No doubt this is greatly disappointing to Ke$ha, but Mr. Depp’s ex, Vanessa Paradis, may have some issues with it as well.

Here’s the latest from my favorite, National Enquirer:

Vanessa Paradis, Johnny’s partner for 14 years before they split a year ago, is afraid that their two kids will grow too attached to Amber and get hurt when the relationship falls apart.

“Vanessa doesn’t care for Amber at all,” said a source. “She’s convinced that Amber’s trying to get her hooks into Johnny and his money by getting him to propose. But Vanessa doesn’t believe it’s going to last, and that’s why she’s against Johnny marrying Amber. She thinks their kids will be crushed when the relationship goes south. Vanessa thinks he’s smitten because Amber’s so exotic and says he’ll grow tired of her,” added the source. “But before he does, he just might pop the question – and that’s the last thing Vanessa wants.”

I’m sorry, but fighting over Johnny Depp is SO 1998. Dude looks like a hobo.

I don’t know if I buy this story. Ms. Paradis is doing great. She had an album drop last month, looked great at Cannes, and has a new film coming out.  And she said she’s pretty much over it. Not that celebrities can’t change their minds and experience heartache and all that. I get it, they’re ~~real people~~ too. But better. The real truth to this story is that you don’t find much publicity about Amber Heard without having Johnny Depp’s name tied to it. And weirdly, I can’t find any recent photos of the two of them together.

Vanessa Paradis Can Spit Water Through Her Teeth, You Know

photo of vanessa paradis harper's bazaar pictures
So I completely take back any potentially-foul thing I may have ever said about Vanessa Paradis, because she completely killed any ill feelings I’ve maybe ever had about her in one fell swoop—and namely, because of this Harper’s Bazaar interview that I’ve gone and inserted the better bits and pieces of into this post. I talked a little bit about Vanessa’s interview spree over the weekend, when we discussed how she finally opened up about Johnny Depp and their split in Elle, and pretty much since then, girlfriend’s been on my mind.

See, in this interview, Vanessa talks about her anti-aging regimen (um, none), her privacy, how blessed she is to be living the life that she lives, and the big ol’ gap between her two front teeth. And guys, this woman is positively charming.

Here’s Vanessa on the topic of privacy for her family:

They [Vanessa and Johnny] made French their own private language, speaking it when they “needed to have intimacy, when you want to have secrets in the middle of a crowd,” Paradis says. Two children quickly followed, Lily-Rose, now 13, and John, nicknamed Jack, 10.

On being “chic vagabonds,” and how privileged she feels in this life:

“It takes a lot of thinking and organization,” Paradis says of the nomadic existence. Even now, their primary concern is to maintain a sense of balance and protect their children from the tabloid glare. “We have a very privileged life. But even when we are in L.A., where it’s focused on the film industry, it’s also very family-oriented. I’m in love with the schools. We try to keep it normal.”

On her appearance:

As for Paradis’s own beauty, it has simply morphed over the years: She has aged without a lot of fuss. Deep laugh lines frame her teal-smudged eyes, and her face reveals considerable animation. She says she doesn’t plan on plastic surgery. (“I don’t work in America, so I don’t feel the pressure.”) And forget about altering what the French call les dents du bonheur, or lucky teeth. “Why would I fix them? I was born with them. I can spit water through them. They’re useful!”

And finally, on what she’s looking for in a man:

The day that Paradis moves on, in France at least, the press will run wild again. There are already rumors linking her with singer-songwriter Benjamin Biolay and Lenny Kravitz, which one should take with an enormous grain of fleur de sel. That said, Paradis does have an eye for a specific kind of man. “Well, my type is obviously creative,” she says, with a quick smile. “Creative, with burning eyes and a pretty mouth.”

See? Completely delightful, non? And the thing is, I can sort of relate with the teeth thing. I really, really admire her for not getting the gap fixed, because when I was a young teen, I, too, had similar teeth to Vanessa’s. I had the big gap between the front two, and if I can speak honestly, these teeth were the bane of my adolescent existence.

Back before my parents paid for braces, I wouldn’t show my teeth when I smiled, and I’d go home crying when this one ass (who ironically sent me a friend request on Facebook a few weeks ago, though we haven’t talked in probably fifteen or so years) would tell me that he could probably “slide quarters through the gap between my two front teeth.” Kids can be so, so mean, and I never forgot how that business made me feel.

For Vanessa, now, to go ahead and shrug it off, embracing it, is kind of admirable. Whether or not they bothered her when she was a young girl, I don’t know, but it almost makes you wonder what kind of self-awareness you have to have in order to keep things the way they are—and be OK with them, too. ADMIRABLE.

As Emily said a few weeks ago, TEAM VANESSA.

Vanessa Paradis Talks About Johnny Depp Split

photo of johnny depp and vanessa paradis pictures
Even though she doesn’t want to talk about him. Go figure.

In a recent interview with Elle magazine, Vanessa was asked about her breakup with long-time partner, Johnny Depp, and after a little insistence, she obliged. To Elle, Vanessa said:

“I don’t want to talk about him. Who said that artists should sell their soul, expose everything about themselves? … It’s my duty to promote this movie, and my albums, but can you imagine what it feels like to see people making a business out of your pain. What’s happened to us is our concern. Who said that artists should sell their soul, expose everything about themselves? … It’s my duty to promote this movie, and my albums, but can you imagine what it feels like to see people making a business out of your pain. What’s happened to us is our concern. I don’t have the recipe for happiness, but I think the engine is simply having the desire. It’s not feeling obliged or forced or repeating yourself. I hate, for example, whenever you hear someone say: ‘You have work at being a couple’. No, you have to want to be there. And for me, I want to be right where I am right now.”

So, in a nutshell, it sounds like Vanessa is in a decent place right now, and if she’s still aching over the fact that she and Johnny are no more, it’s definitely not showing, and for that? I have to give her some major, major credit, because wow. These guys were just together forever. Sometimes things work out this way for many reasons, and not entirely selfish ones, I suppose, huh?

Johnny Depp Is Completely Innocent

A photo of Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis

This really hurts. I’ve always loved Johnny Depp‘s movies, because hey, what’s not to love? And when he’s played such wonderful, endearing characters like the ones he played in Benny and Joon, Edward Scissorhands, and Finding Neverland, I think it’s easy to mistake his characters’ good qualities for his own, you know? Because I’ve enjoyed his movies so much, I just assumed that he’s an awesome person who is incapable of doing anything wrong. But right now, at this point in time, I think I’m going to have to guess that he’s kind of a douchebag in real life.

Another story about Johnny’s split from Vanessa Paradis covered Us Weekly this week, and Lainey Gossip was nice enough to summarize it:

According to the magazine:

-V wanted to break up 2 years ago because she was unhappy
-V complained all the time about their low key lifestyle. She didn’t want to stay on a private island and quietly raise their babies. She was bored and restless.
-V was the one who wanted to move to LA and that’s when it all unravelled.
-V was the one who insisted that he make big budget Disney movies because she loved the money. Johnny wasn’t interested but only did them for her.
(Please tell me you’re shaking your head and rolling your eyes now.)
-When those movies became big ass deals, V then resented J for his success.

Says an Us Weekly source:

“Nothing Johnny did was ever good enough for Vanessa. When he was working, she wasn’t happy. And when he wasn’t working, he was called a slob for not doing enough for the kids and her family.”

Apparently Johnny is tight with the owner of the magazine, and that’s why they wrote this joke of a story. Because if you’ve been keeping up with Johnny for the past year or so, he’s in the middle of a full blown midlife crisis. He’s made stupid comments, he’s been seen drunkenly stumbling around more than once, and honestly, he just doesn’t look that great these days. And, of course, there are all the rumors of Johnny’s wandering penis. He’s been linked with his Dark Shadows costar, Eva Green, his Rum Diary costar, Amber Heard, an Olsen twin, and also his publicist. But for sure, it’s all Vanessa’s fault. She drove him to all this.

Listen, this is bullshit. I don’t care if Vanessa Paradis screeched in Johnny’s ear about anything and everything for the entire 14 years they were together. She didn’t force him to hook up with other ladies, and she didn’t force him to get wasted and stagger around the streets. That’s all on him. If he wasn’t happy, he could have left, but the “you made me do this to you” argument just gets under my skin so much. Your choices are your own, so be a grown ass adult and stand behind them.

Team Vanessa.

Johnny Depp Was Totally Bored With Vanessa Paradis and She Knew It

So in this video, it’s all made out to be this nice, amicable breakup where not just one party had gone and decided the fate of their fourteen-year relationship. However, other sources are saying that the couple broke up because Johnny had enough of the same puss over and over again for a decade and a half, and he wanted to test the waters since he was all big and famous-y and in demand and not getting any younger.

Here’s more information from Radar Online:

“Johnny didn’t want to be with Vanessa anymore. They had grown so far apart, and he wanted to be free and try new things,” a source close to the former couple tells “He was bored senseless with her, being with Vanessa was making him miserable. The spark had gone, and there was nothing left. Johnny just wants more from life and believes Vanessa deserves to be happier too. He’s not embroiled in some hot and heavy new romance and he has no plans to jump straight into something straight away, but he is keen to have some fun again.”

“Johnny was not handling keeping their split secret too well, it was difficult for him to carry on a farce, so now that it is out in the public he is feeling a lot happier about the situation. … Johnny has wanted this relationship to end since last year,” the source says. “He has tried to get out of this for a long time.”

However, one thing is for sure — even though Johnny no longer wants to be romantically involved with Vanessa, he is determined to continue to be a hands-on dad when it comes to their two children, Lilly [sic] Rose and Jack.

“Make no mistake, Johnny is not walking away from his kids, at all,” the source says. “He loves his children, more than life itself, and he is determined to remain a constant everyday presence in their lives.”

And even more sources are saying that Johnny’s already rebounded with ‘Long Ranger’ costar, Amber Heard. Who, last I checked, was a lesbian. But hey. You never do know, now, do you? From Showbiz Spy:

Johnny Depp has been linked to actress Amber Heard.

The actor — who recently announced his split from longtime love Vanessa Paradis — is said to have bought Heard a horse so they can ride together.

According to Globe magazine, Heard — who is bisexual — has been a “regular visitor” to the New Mexico set of The Lone Ranger where 49-year-old Depp is currently filming.

Depp and Heard have also reportedly enjoyed a trip together to Las Vegas on a private plane.

Wow. So is it maybe safe to say yet that Johnny Depp could actually be a little bit of a bag of dicks? Could it be true?

BREAKING: Johnny Depp Confirms the Split With Vanessa Paradis

photo of johnny depp and vanessa paradis split pictures
From ET:

“Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis have amicably separated. Please respect their privacy and, more importantly, the privacy of their children.”

And that was it. That was IT. No “they split months ago back when everyone and their mother called it,” not “just today and poor, deluded Vanessa was left crying on the couple’s front porch after telling everyone just weeks ago that things were all fine and dandy,” nothing else. We’ve got the old “amicable separation,” and the request to respect privacy—because of the children, you see.

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