Kristen Wiig is hilarious and SNL has been a total shitfest since she left (with the only bright moments being courtesy of Bobby Moynihan’s Drunk Uncle and Kate McKinnon’s everything), but of course it was time for her to head to greener pastures, and this is what we’ve got: Will Ferrell‘s new mini-series, The Spoils of Babylon.
The series is a spoof of melodramatic series like The Thorn Birds and follows a rich family, the Morehouses. Kristen Wiig is the daughter of an oil magnate who is fighting feelings for her adopted brother, played by Tobey Maguire. LOL, what? It looks really weird, but also really hilarious, don’t you think?
The Spoils of Babylon will premiere on IFC on January 9.
Leonardo DiCaprio isn’t hot anymore and men want to look like Jon Hamm, according to the latest plastic surgery trends. Details has some interesting stats on cosmetic procedures for men, including one unnamed famous actor who changed his “monster nose.”
In faces, as in fashion, what’s hot changes. Square jaws (think Jon Hamm, Michael Fassbender, Daniel Craig) are in, replacing yesterday’s pert-nose-and-dainty-chin combo (Leonardo DiCaprio, Zac Efron, Tobey Maguire). “There’s less of a desire now for a conventionally beautiful white-bread face,” says Dr. Steven Teitelbaum, an associate professor of plastic surgery at UCLA School of Medicine. “People are embracing strong features like ethnic, nontraditional noses.” For example, in lieu of full-on rhinoplasty, many men are balancing their naturally big noses with chin implants (which have recently spiked by 71 percent, according to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons) or opting to have their noses trimmed back.
“I did a rhinoplasty and a chin implant on a famous actor who had a monster nose and no chin. We left a bit of a bump in the nose, so it still looked like his, just a better version,” says Dr. Darrick Antell, assistant clinical professor of surgery at Columbia University. “No one, including the producer on his next project, noticed he’d had a nose job.”
Who do we think it is? Anyone want to make a guess? Our clues are “monster nose” and “no chin.” Which means that after the surgery he had a chin and a nose with “a bit of a bump left so it still looked like his.” I’m guessing Bradley Cooper, because f-ck it.
Also if you thought there was any chance in hell I was going to mention Jon Hamm in an article and not mention his dong, you’d be wrong.
Wow. This is almost nothing like I envisioned it to be, but then again, we are talking Baz Luhrmann, who did ’96′s ‘Romeo+Juliet’, which was like an acid trip in a movie theater. Honestly, I’m kind of disappointed, because I think a lot could have been done with a ‘Great Gatsby‘ reboot, but now we won’t actually see my grand vision for at least another two decades when they decide to to a remake of the remake of the remake of the original once more.
I’m kidding. This movie and everything it entails looks absolutely amazing. Not amazing enough, you know, to go out and see it on Christmas Day or anything (who actually does that? Do you, or someone you know, go out and hit up the movie theater on Christmas Day or Christmas Night? Because I know that I’m usually cuddled up on the couch all day long eating and opening presents and drinking wine and watching fabulous movies that are hardly ever on network television and the last thing—the absolute last thing—I want to be doing is leaving the house for any particular reason whatsoever), but it looks pretty f-cking fabulous nevertheless.
Thoughts on that and, of course, thoughts on ‘The Great Gatsby’? Aside from how Leonardo DiCaprio was a brilliant choice for Jay Gatsby, and how Tobey Maguire still makes people want to slit their wrists because he sucks so hard?
I don’t know about you guys, but when I heard that Leonardo DiCaprio was slated to play Jay Gatsby in Great Gatsby 2012, I was pretty stoked. I’m not a huge fan of Leonardo, but if I really thought hard about it, there probably wasn’t another snotty, pretentious actor who could really pull Gatsby off. Tobey Maguire cast as Nick Carraway, now, eh. I think they’d have been better advised to cast someone like – ahem – Ryan Gosling in the role of Nick Carraway, but hey. Life isn’t always fair and sometimes you end up with two main actors who think their shit doesn’t stink in a movie based on one of your favorite books.
Tobey Maguire, his wife Jennifer and their kids went to Mr. Bone’s Pumpkin Patch in Los Angeles today (and thankfully this fucking Halloween bullshit will be over before we know it because I’ve about had it up to here with looking at pictures of famous people and their dumb babies picking out pumpkins.) They looked like a normal family (except of course for the fact that they were being photographed the whole time), down to dad awkwardly pushing a huge stoller and their little girl picking her nose and pouting. Really, what’s more American than that?
Tobey Maguire’s mother and brother are set to star in a reality show of their own. Growing Up Maguire will focus on his mom Wendy as she shields her 15-year-old — Tobey’s brother Weston is into motocross and snowboarding — from the evil glare of Hollywood. Does a reality show about protecting your kid from fame seem a little counter-intuitive?
And in news that blew my crown chakra to the ceiling, Amy Winehouse’s father is releasing an album of Sinatra covers. Yep, taxi driver Mitch Winehouse — that portly babe is pictured above — has decided to try and get into the music biz after seeing how well it has treated his daughter. He’s been working on this record for a while now, no word on a release date.
Do people care about the irrelevant relatives of famous people? I don’t think we have to look any further than the nine episodes of Living Lohan to answer that question.
I just thought I’d remind you that they named their daughter Ruby Sweetheart. Like you could forget.
The name of the new baby boy hasn’t been released, but one can only hope that this time the couple will decide upon a name that does not sound like either a Racehorse or a character from Rainbow Brite. Or a stripper. Or a variety of grapefruit.