I guess you can’t ride the wave (so to speak) of Sharknado – and your spinoff perfume inspired by the movie – forever, right? I mean, the need for renewed attention has to be the reason Tara Reid decided to post a naked selfie on Instagram this weekend.
The above photo was posted later, and was captioned, quite aptly, with, “I’m a mermaid.” That you are, Tara.
The whole naked thing is under the cut for those of you who might be at work or just want to save your eyes.
You’ve gotta hand it to Tara Reid – she’s certainly dedicated. She’s absolutely taken to her role in Sharknado and its sequel like… well, like a fish to water. She loves the movie, she thinks it could actually happen and apparently she’s so into it, she’s released her own perfume called “Shark”, which smells like lavender. The colour, that is – not the flower.
Here’s the description:
Shark by Tara is a light and refreshing perfume perfect for day-to-day wear. It also incorporates a plethora of “lavender” colored flowers, which is Tara’s favorite color, making them a true fit for Shark by Tara.
Shark by Tara perfume is a complex scent with three different levels of nodes that embrace our fresh, light, and fun feel. Our top-level node is clad with iced mint, violet and lemon, while our middle node is complete with jasmine, tuberose and muguet. The last dry node is cool blue rose, amber and musk.
“We hope you all have as much fun wearing it as we did making it!” – TaraLinz
Oh, dear. Keep in mind that no actual retailers are selling this – it’s only available on Tara’s website. On one hand, this could be a hilarious keepsake novelty item. On the other, it’s an absolute disaster that she seriously made a shark perfume. It’s taking things to a whole new level of crazy. And I sort of love it.
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Oh, Tara Reid. All those years of narcotic and alcohol abuse really have made every last synapse in your brain misfire, haven’t they? You see, Tara managed to get herself a role in both Sharknado films (the fact that there are two of those makes me question the world, but that’s another story), and since she’s doing press for the sequel at the moment, she gets asked a lot about the ridiculous concept behind it. Let’s be clear, here: a “sharknado” is the combination of a great white shark and a tornado that goes around torturing everyone with its sheer meteorological-animal fierceness. And that’s something Tara thinks could happen in real life.
“You know, it actually can happen. I mean, the chances of it happening are very rare, but it can happen actually. Which is crazy. Not that it—the chances of it are, like, you know, it’s like probably ‘pigs could fly.’ Like, I don’t think pigs could fly, but actually sharks could be stuck in tornados. There could be a sharknado.”
Oh, dear. I have to say, Tara Reid’s brand of stupidity is one I can get behind. It doesn’t hurt anybody because she’s not in any kind of position of power, and it’s entertaining as hell because it’s so insane. Also, I still haven’t watched the first Sharknado and I feel like I need to get on that.
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Jason Biggs surprised us all by revealing he’s actually not Jewish, and now he’s surprising us again — by saying some incredibly mean things about former co-star Tara Reid. Yeah, Tara’s been a hot mess, but she’s pulling it together and I don’t see the point in kicking someone when they’re down (or, getting up.) But Mr. Biggs disagrees.
While chatting with Joan Rivers on her latest talk show, he was asked to choose between Lindsay Lohan and Tara Reid in a segment called “Live Or Die.” Here’s his response, via E!:
Lindsay Lohan stays.
[...] she’s got nice boobs, she really does. Lindsay’s got nice boobs. Tara’s body—I don’t know what’s going on with it. I don’t think she ever knows what’s going on with it.
[...] Lindsay doesn’t know what’s going on with Tara’s body either. No one knows what’s going on with Tara’s body.
Dude, come on. That’s a bit much.
I think he went too far. What do you guys think?
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Tara Reid, dear Tara. Oh, Tara. You were doing so well! You got yourself Sharknado, a cult classic in the making, fought against rumors that you were cut from the sequel (and won the fight, she wasn’t cut), and looked healthy and happy at the premiere. You were even the voice of REASON a few months ago when you spoke eloquently about Lindsay Lohan and her foolish antics. And then you went and said this, on the Discovery Channel’s Shark After Dark program, live.
I was like, all right, I don’t wanna, like, really sound stupid when I do this show today. So I learned a little education on sharks. I look up sharks on the internet and it’s like, “whale sharks”, and I’m like, oh that must mean a whale and a shark have sex. And I think, well, how does a whale and a shark have sex? And then I realized that whales are mammals, and sharks are animals, they have nothing to do with each other. So basically, the dolphins have sex with each other, but the sharks don’t. So I thought, then how is it such a thing?
She kept rambling, the audience laughed in a, “oh honey” sort of way, and the host made this face:
And Ian Ziering made this face:
It’s not the stupidest thing anyone’s ever said. She was having a classic Jessica Simpson moment. It’s just so unfortunate because she expressed at the top that she really, really didn’t want to sound stupid on the show.
Better luck next time, Team Tara! We appreciate your efforts.
Dear Jennifer Hudson, this is awful. Sorry. Sincerely, me.
Time for the Best And Worst Celebrity Looks Of The Week. We’re covering late July and very early August. In case you didn’t know. And now you do. And learning is fun. Obviously, Courtney Stodden’s lettuce bikini is included in here.
BEST: Dita Von Teese
WORST: Bachelor Sean Lowe
WTF?!?: Click to find out! (It’s a doozy.)
I can’t even believe this is a discussion we’re having. That there’s a movie called Sharknado that exists, that it got enough views to warrant a fucking sequel, that producers decided they didn’t want star Tara Reid – clearly one of the movie’s drawing points – back for the second film and that now she’s made a public statement denying that she’s been cut and insisting that she just wants to see a script before she commits. Uh… okay.
Here’s what she had to say on Twitter:
Apparently she’s not lying, either, as Sharknado producer David Latt has since told The Hollywood Reporter:
The Asylum‘s David Latt, who serves as a producer on the new franchise, denied a TMZ report that indicated the actress would not be returning for the follow-up.
“The short answer is: Nope. Tara is invited back,” Latt told The Hollywood Reporter. “Honestly, I don’t know where that [TMZ story] came from.”
Here’s the thing: I sorta believe Tara was cut and then the public got all up in arms about it so they’ve had to go back on their decision and deny the reports. I mean, maybe not – after all, like I said, she was a huge camp drawing point (though really a stick could star in a movie about a tornado full of sharks and the entire Internet would tune in), so it would have been a dumb decision.