Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Sofia Vergara

Reese Witherspoon Hates Sofia Vergara & Her Dumb Accent

sofia vergara reese witherspoon

Because women can’t co-exist in Hollywood without being either BFFs or violent rivals, the latest reports of the latter comes from Reese Witherspoon and Sofia Vergara. They did that shitty “comedy” Hot Pursuit together earlier this year, and while it seemed like they totally got along great, it turns out Reese apparently hates Sofia and her dumb laugh and stupid accent. She wouldn’t feel so strongly about Sofia, of course, had the movie not flopped. But since it has, it’s obviously down to Sofia and not to the fact that Reese herself sucks, the script sucks, or anything else.

“Sofia and Reese have turned the movie’s failure into a brutal blame game,” an insider told RadarOnline.com. “Reese blames Sofia’s accent and ‘irritating laugh,’ while Sofia blames Reese for not being sexy or funny enough.”

As if things weren’t awkward enough, both women are represented by Witherspoon’s husband, agent Jim Toth! “Jim is desperately trying to broker peace between them, but then they start accusing him of playing favorites! He can’t win.”

The actresses are reportedly ‘devastated’ by the monetary and critical failure. “A laugh could die of loneliness in this shrill, slapstick buddy farce,” one critic said. “The proven comic gifts of Witherspoon and Vergara have gone MIA.”

Look, I get that every woman 40 and over wants to be Sandra Bullock, the queen of every genre (and co-star of the BEST female buddy cop movie ever, The Heat), but it’s not going to happen. Especially not with these two. I don’t mind either of them – they’re harmless at best – but neither really has enough “star quality” on her own to complete pull off a movie like Hot Pursuit. Plus, the writing was baaaaaad, so it was basically a double recipe for failure.

Anyway, I don’t necessarily think that this is true, considering the source, but if it is, Reese needs to check her racism and Sofia needs to relax with the sexiness brigade. It’s all gonna be okay, ladies. You’re still rich.

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Sofia Vergara & Joe Manganiello Celebrate 1 Year Anniversary

sofia vergara joe manganiello

It’s the greatest love story ever told, and it’s actually lasted a full year. I’m talking about the whirlwind romance of Sofia Vergara and Joe Manganiello, of course, who are already engaged and planning to spend their lives together. Aren’t they cute? Aren’t they hot? Sofia posted the above photo on her Instagram page on Sunday with the following adorable caption:

love of my life

I don’t know why I like these two so much, I just do. And I actually kinda believe that they’re going to stand the test of time, and I’m not quite sure why. I just have a good feeling about them. I can’t wait to see how their wedding turns out.

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Nick Loeb Is Allowed To Sue Sofia Vergara For Her Embryos

Sofia Vergara, Nick Loeb

In what’s likely the most ridiculous news I’ve heard this week (Josh Duggar excluded, of course), apparently some judge has ruled that Nick Loeb, ex-fiance of Sofia Vergara, has ruled that he has the right to sue her over those frozen embryos that he wants to turn into babies against her wishes – oh, and against the contract HE SIGNED HIMSELF. What the fuck?

From Entertainment Tonight:

Vergara’s ex was granted permission today to file an amended lawsuit allowing him to seek custody of the two female embryos that were created from his sperm and Vergara’s eggs while they were still in a relationship.

The revised complaint is the first time Loeb is seeking custody, and the paperwork includes a new claim that Vergara, 42, breached an oral agreement to create the embryos and bring them to term via a surrogate. “He does believe they are his daughters,” Loeb’s lawyer Christina Goodrich explained on Tuesday.

Today, Vergara’s lawyer Fred Silberberg told the Santa Monica, Calif., court that Goodrich took too long to file this argument. “[The] plaintiff is using this lawsuit to continue to attack [Vergara] in the press and continue to have his own visibility in the press,” he said.

As Vergara and Loeb signed a consent form that required they both have to agree before anything can be done with the embryos, Silberberg added, “There is no legal issue.”

I really need this asshole to get a grip on reality. Nick Loeb isn’t fighting so hard to save these frozen embryos because he’s desperate to be a father. If that was the case, he could go out and adopt or get another woman pregnant immediately. He’s doing this because he’s bitter that he’s lost her and that she’s moved on, and this is his way of trying to make her life a living hell. Way to go, dude. You win the grand prize in pathetic behaviour for today.

Oh, and you KNOW he’s also the type of douchebag to – if in some universe he got his own way, which he won’t – Loeb would be trying to hit her up for child support.

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Sofia Vergara Is An Abusive Bully, Says Cry Baby Nick Loeb

sofia vergara nick loeb

Oh, Christ. This just never ends. Since people haven’t really been giving credence to Nick Loeb‘s boo hoo sob story about how ex-fiancee Sofia Vergara won’t let him use frozen embryos which he has NO PERMISSION to use and signed legal documents on multiple occasions saying so, he’s decided to switch tactics now and claim that she was physically and verbally abusive to him during their relationship.

From Radar Online:

In newly released court documents, filed in August 2014 and acquired by RadarOnline.com, Loeb levels shocking claims against the beloved sitcom star, stemming from a November 2013 incident in which he said she “began vigorously berating” him after he questioned her signing of a document that stipulated that the embryos were to be thawed should one of them die.

“Such abuse was unfortunately common in the Parties’ relationship, as [Vergara] was on many occasions physically, emotionally and mentally abusive to [Loeb],” read the documents. “For example, she physically abused him on four separate occasions: she punched him in the face on two occasions, kicked him, and threw her phone at his head.”

Loeb said that the Colombian stunner “routinely bullied him, calling him a ‘loser,’ ‘worthless,’ and other degrading names” during their ill-fated relationship.

Loeb said he signed that document in question, “even though he did not agree with it, in order to avoid further abuse.”

Oh, fuck off. Does he honestly think this is how he’s going to get a judge to agree to using embryos that aren’t his to use? By pretending he was “bullied” into signing? Get a life, asshole. Frankly, calling him a loser is the least of what he is. What grown ass man wouldn’t just MOVE ON AND FIND SOMEONE ELSE and have kids with her? This is clearly about capitalizing on Sofia’s fame and it’s absolute nonsense.

If the California justice system wants to have any hope of being taken seriously, they’ll throw this case out before it even gets to be heard, because it’s absolutely ridiculous.

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Sofia Vergara Speaks Out On Nick Loeb’s Embryo Emo Fit

sofia vergara

Oh, Nick Loeb. So sad, so very, very sad… in every sense, both emotionally and pathetically. After he gave Sofia Vergara an ultimatum to have kids now or split, she walked out on him and he didn’t take it so well – especially since she quickly moved on to serious upgrade, Joe Manganiello. Now he’s boo hoo-ing to anyone who will listen about how badly he wants to keep embryos they’d frozen together WHEN THEY WERE TOGETHER even though he signed a contract admitting that, you know, he can’t do that without her agreement. He’s an asshole, and finally Sofia has spoken about this whole mess publicly for the first time since it all kicked off.

Sofia was on Howard Stern’s Sirius XM show on Monday and he asked her how she’s feeling as she’s going through all this BS. Her response was priceless:

“I’m not going through anything. He’s going through it.”

“A child needs a mother and a loving relationship with parents who don’t hate each other. I don’t hate him but obviously he has a problem. A kid needs parents. I wouldn’t want to bring kids to the world where it’s already set against them. It would be so selfish.”

“You sign papers. If it was so serious for him, this issue, which I totally respect because it’s serious. Then you should’ve taken it more seriously at the time. There is a contract. He can’t do anything…. We did it two times. You make the mistake the first time. Two times? And now you want to change your mind?! …You have to follow what you sign!”

“I’m okay. I didn’t do anything wrong. This is a year later.”

Get ‘em, girl! This whole “case” is pretty much non-existent and the most obvious thing ever. Loeb has no case and he needs to see a therapist because he obviously has some serious issues to work through.

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Sofia Vergara’s Ex Nick Loeb Still Butthurt Over Frozen Embyros And Now Whining Via ‘The New York Times’

nick loeb sofia vergara embryos

Last week, we were talking about how Nick Loeb was secretly suing ex-fiancée Sofia Vergara over embryos they had frozen together during their relationship. She wants the embryos destroyed since they’ll never be used, and Loeb, still butthurt over the fact that the ultimatum he gave her backfired and ended up with her moving on very happily to Joe ‘Best Sex Of Her Life’ Manganiello, wants to keep them so that if he eventually finds another woman, he can use the embryos and turn them into real, live children. While that was bullshit enough, at least it was (sorta) being carried out privately. But now, someone at the New York Times thought it would be a great idea to give this dumbass a national platform from which to spew his garbage.

Here are some “highlights” from his op-ed:

In 2013, Sofía and I agreed to try to use in vitro fertilization and a surrogate to have children. We signed a form stating that any embryos created through the process could be brought to term only with both parties’ consent. The form did not specify — as California law requires — what would happen if we separated. I am asking to have it voided.

So… hang on here a minute. Loeb admits that he SIGNED A LEGALLY BINDING AGREEMENT saying that they could only have these kids if BOTH PARTIES AGREED, and now he doesn’t really like the way that’s playing out for him since he’s single, so he wants the law to change in his favour? I almost hope this is a joke… but alas.

My lawyers have identified 10 other cases in the United States in which a parent tried to have a fertilized, frozen embryo taken to term against the wishes of an opposing parent. In eight of those cases, the parent seeking custody lost. In the other two cases, one in Pennsylvania and one inIllinois, a woman was awarded custody of fertilized embryos over the man’s objections. In both cases, the woman had undergone chemotherapy treatment and the embryos were her last chance to have a biological child; judges ruled that the woman’s interest in becoming a parent outweighed the man’s interest in not becoming a parent. In the Illinois case (now on appeal), the judge found that the form the couple signed was not the binding contract, and instead enforced a verbal promise the man made to help the woman have children.

Oh yes, please! Let’s definitely use two terrible rulings (because indeed, the two “exception” cases should not have happened) to defend our own personal desires despite the fact that it’s legally and morally wrong! Sure thing!

But as we began to discuss other potential surrogates, it became clear once more that parenthood was much less urgent for her than it was for me. We had been together for over four years. As I was coming on 40, I gave her an ultimatum. When she refused, we split up.

A few months later, I asked her to let me have the embryos, offering to pay for all expenses to carry our girls to term and raise them. If she did not wish to share custody, I would take on full parenting responsibilities and agree to have her declared an egg donor. She has refused. Her lawyer, Fred Silberberg, has told reporters that she wants to keep the embryos “frozen indefinitely.” In my view, keeping them frozen forever is tantamount to killing them.

Here’s the thing, Nick. Parenthood is something that she – as the “mother” and therefore the biological vessel who would carry your imaginary spawn – would need to consent to. She had other priorities in life and you didn’t like it and you split up. Now you’re kicking yourself and playing the creepy ex who’s basically doing anything to try and fuck with her present happiness since it’s not with you. Scumbag.

I’m sorry, but I don’t for one second thing this asshole believes that never implanting embryos – which are NOT EVEN ACTUALLY EMBYROS since they certainly aren’t “in the process of developing”, as the dictionary definition states – is tantamount to killing. That’s his way of appealing to the pro-lifers to make this part of the MRA movement which… bye. Don’t forget Nick Loeb is an aspiring politician. This is basically the worst, and thankfully, it’s unlikely to ever gain ANY kind of traction in the legal system.

P.S. Also, “our girls”? I can’t. I really cannot.

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Sofia Vergara Is Being Sued By Her Ex-Fiance Over Frozen Embryos

sofia vergara nick loeb

Sofia Vergara had a son when she was super young – still a teenager, in fact. He’s all grown up now, and Sofia has always thought she might like to have some more kids one day. She’s always said she wouldn’t need a man to do it and would happily have a baby all on her own via a surrogate, but apparently, when she was with her ex-fiance Nick Loeb, they froze some embryos together for future use. That use will never happen now, of course, since they’re not together anymore, so Sofia wants them destroyed. Nick, however, is suing her for the right to keep them frozen since he’s a pro-lifer and think they’re living human beings. Uh…

From In Touch:

Court documents obtained exclusively by ‘In Touch’ reveal that just six months before their split, in November 2013, Nick and Sofía had embryos created as a result of his sperm and her eggs being fertilized.

Nick, who filed the suit under the pseudonym John Doe, “seeks to ensure that the Female Embryos are not destroyed, but Jane Doe [Sofía] refuses to agree to their preservation under all circumstances,” the document obtained by ‘In Touch’ states. (The lawsuit was originally filed in August 2014; it was amended with new information and refiled on April 1 after Nick sought new representation.)

The court papers also claim the 42-year-old actress “was physically and mentally abusive” to Nick on numerous occasions. “She punched him in the face on two occasions, kicked him, and threw her phone at his head. She also routinely bullied him, calling him a ‘loser,’ ‘worthless’ and other degrading names,” according to the papers.

‘In Touch’ has also learned, via the documents, the couple previously used a surrogate and twice unsuccessfully had their embryo implanted in her. “Nick has always wanted to be a father and will do whatever it takes to save these two remaining female embryos,” an insider close to the situation tells ‘In Touch.’ “Nick is very emotionally invested in these female embryos because he’s pro-life and believes life begins at conception.”

Yikes. First of all… I won’t even get into the ridiculousness of his “life begins at conception” nonsense when talking about cells in a labratory’s freezer. Like, here’s all I can say to that:

shut up

With that out of the way, let’s talk about the fact that he thinks he has a right to use cells (or even to own them) when it was her egg that fertilized them. Sorry, bro, both parties would need to consent to having a child together for that to be in any way legal. Dudes don’t run out of sperm, so I’m sure he can impregnate his new lady when the time comes. Destroy ‘em!