4Have You Seen ‘The Miley Show’?

Saturday Night Live‘s been doing this hilarious bit this season, The Miley Cyrus Show. Last weekend when Anne Hathaway hosted, the sketch was the highlight of the show. Vanessa Bayer’s Miley impression is good (it’s the nasal “pretty cool” that really sells it) but Anne Hathaway’s bit as Katie Holmes was basically flawless.

Saturday Night Live: More of this, please!

November 22, 2010 at 1:00 pm by Molls

2Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth Split. Again.

Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth are officially “off again”. A source close to Liam shared the news with People and said, “There was no drama. The relationship just ran its course. They were good friends first and remain friends.”

You may remember that the two started dating while filming the movie The Last Song. Last year it was widely rumored that Liam was the reason Miley shut down her Twitter page, although she denied those claims. This is, I think, their third time breaking up.

This has to be a tough time for Miley, who has seemingly had a boyfriend non-stop since she was 14. Her parents are getting divorced, she’s nearly 18 (which legally makes you an adult everywhere but really seems to make you an adult in Hollywood), and she’s single. Here’s hoping she has a good support system to help keep her sane right now.

November 5, 2010 at 12:20 pm by Molls

2Is Miley Going to Stick With Mom or Dad Post-Divorce?

Billy Ray and Tish Cyrus are getting divorced but they’ve yet to decide how they’ll be splitting up their biggest asset: Miley. With Miley being worth close to a billion dollars, she’s obviously the family bread winner. She’ll be turning 18 soon enough, but whatever parent she chooses to keep managing her career (or at least on her payroll) will be in the money for life.

Miley seems to be sticking close to her dad ever since rumors broke that Tish cheated on Billy Ray with that sea monster Bret Michaels. A source close to the family was quoted as saying, “Miley and Billy Ray have an incredible bond. This whole situation has hurt Miley’s relationship with her mother — she’s definitly going to side with her father.”

And it seems like Miley and her mother haven’t been that close for some time now. You guys may remember that I reviewed Miley’s show at the House of Blues earlier this year where the singer put her mom on blast for skipping the show due to illness.

It’s not looking good for Tish. It’s a shame that the girl even has to make a choice, though.

November 3, 2010 at 11:13 am by Molls

4Divorce Watch: Tish Finley-Cyrus Had An Affair With Bret Michaels

After reading this story and relating it to you guys, I’m going to head to the kitchen to soak my eyes in a nice, tall, acidic glass of orange juice, and throw a giant dollop of vodka in there for good measure. Then I’m going to swish the eyes around in the glass (carefully, mind you; hard to do this shit with, you know, no eyes), suck the entire thing back – eyes and all – and let the whole mess digest in my stomach. Because the eyes? They’re so much better off down there, closer to my own bowels, than of the bowels of this story, which are sure to get blacker and stinkier before things get better.

Apparently Billy Ray Cyrus was the one who filed for divorce against his wife of a few decades, Tish Finley-Cyrus, because she couldn’t keep it in her pants, and had a long-standing affair with Bret Michaels, who Miley Cyrus has an odd musical affinity for. Or maybe … aw, fuck no, I’m not going down that road. But I will say, who knows – maybe these crazy sumbitches really do keep it all in the family. So, yeah. Gross. From Us Weekly:

Michaels, 47, “became close to the entire family” this past February when he and Miley released the racy duet “Nothing to Lose,” an insider tells Us Weekly.

He and Tish, 43, soon began carrying on an on-the-sly romance, sources tell Us Weekly. Tish was seen at Michaels’ Feb. 28 show at the Key Club in L.A., and he had once asked her production company’s help to adapt his book, Roses & Thorns, into a movie.

“Billy Ray was completely unaware of what was going on,” the source says of the “Achy Breaky Heart” crooner, who is seeking joint custody of their three minor children, Miley (who turns 18 Nov. 23), Braison, 16, and Noah, 10. (They have three older children from previous relationships.)

Though a rep for Michaels refutes the allegations, telling Us Weekly, “There has never been an affair or a fling,” and a rep for Tish also denies the dalliance, the Cyrus source insists, “It was a professional relationship that turned into something more.”

So there you have it guys. They’re clearly sleeping together. Like, as we speak. While listening to “Achy, Breaky Heart.” On a zebra-print rug in front of Bret’s heart-shaped, rose-adorned bed.

… Git your glasses ready, Shep … I’m on my way out the kitch’n and I’ma headin’ for that big ol’ bottle!

November 3, 2010 at 9:00 am by Sarah

10Miley Cyrus Stars in Rock Mafia Video For Latest Single, ‘The Big Bang’

And here we have Miley Cyrus in the performance of her life – at least, uh, as far as I’m concerned – whilst starring in Rock Mafia’s latest video for their new single, ‘The Big Bang.’

The video, in case you can’t watch it, or well … follow it, involves a man (Keven Zegers) lamenting the loss of his dead girlfriend (portrayed so keenly by Miley), and he sees her – and the vehicle accident that killed her – everywhere.

Miley steams up the camera in a few scenes where she overtly locks lips with the attractive Zegers (and who the hell is this Rock Mafia band, anyway? Never heard of ‘em, but then again, they don’t really have the sound I’m into anyway) and struts her stuff in tight, short leather getups and lots of lace, nailpolish, and bangle bracelets.

Classic Miley, classic doings. It’s just so much better now that she’s going to be legal to do it, without the speculation and constant shoulder-tapping of the Parents Television Council.

What did you think of the video? Too hardcore, or just right for Miley the, um, rocker?

November 2, 2010 at 8:00 am by Sarah

7Miley Cyrus’s Mom and Dad Are Splitting

Yup, the Hollywood couple that you thought for sure would last the strains of time and Botox, shitty country songs, many pointless name changes, and teenage girls with identity crises who wear skimpy costumes and influence their toddler sisters to debut lingerie lines — it’s official:  Billy Ray Cyrus and Tish Finley are gittin’ a dee-vorce!

The couple, who cited irreconcilable differences, filed for the legality late yesterday afternoon in Tennessee, and released this joint statement to their ‘fans’:

“As you can imagine, this is a very difficult time for our family. We are trying to work through some personal matters. We appreciate your thoughts and prayers.”

This, after seventeen years of marriage and forty kids. Well hell. Sorry to hear that your marriage didn’t work out, guys, but hey. There’s always Dollywood. And the profits from that horrendous Walmart clothing line.

October 28, 2010 at 8:00 am by Sarah