Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Miley Cyrus

Nick Jonas Tries for Relevant, Writes a Song About Miley

HARRUMPH. And the song? It’s called ‘Wedding Bells’. This is what Nick, himself, had to say about the song:

“We’re in the process of recording a new album, which is both good and bad, [the bad being that I had to] dive into subjects that make us uncomfortable and write about them. … You have to write a song and apologize for it later. I don’t think I’ve ever written a song that makes me as uncomfortable as this song does. Some things happened in the last year that affected me in that moment. … This song is called ‘Wedding Bells.’ “

If that clue right there is a little too vague for your tastes, try this one out for size—a lyric in the song says, “If you recall our anniversary falls/ Eleven nights into June,” and you’re as obsessed with Nick and Miley as much as I used to be some people are, then you’ll know that their anniversary *also* fell on June 11th. Of 2006. But hey, who’s counting, right?

Last, unless Selena Gomez is engaged to Bieber on the DL, and also throw away all of the other clues that allude to Miley, one can only assume that he’s talking about Miley, you know?

Look, Miley Has A New Song!

Well, new to her, anyway. The actual song is 40 years old, originally done by Melanie Safka. And the video isn’t too new either, judging by Miley’s totally old hair and her missing engagement ring. But it’s new to us, and that’s what matters, right?

So are we digging it or what? Because I kind of am. I haven’t heard too much of Miley’s music, but I definitely, definitely like this country twang she has going on these days. When you compare this to “Party in the U.S.A.,” there’s really no comparison, is there?

Guess Who’s Getting A Lifetime Movie!

A photo of Miley Cyrus


Following in the footsteps of Lindsay Lohan (oh dear god), Miley Cyrus is starring in her very own Lifetime movie. However, Miley’s deal is a little different than Lindsay’s. See, Miley’s movie is actually a miniseries, and it will air on both Lifetime and the History Channel. Why? Because Lifetime and the History Channel are both owned by the same company, and Miley’s movie is about Bonnie and Clyde.

Let that sink in for a minute. Miley is starring in a Lifetime (and History Channel!) miniseries about Bonnie and Clyde. How could this be anything other than perfect?

We only know a few things about this right now: it’s four hours long, it’s Miley’s first starring television role since Hannah Montana, and it’s going to be amazing. And really, isn’t that enough?

Liam Would Like Miley to Delete Her Twitter Again

A photo of Liam Hemsworth and Miley Cyrus

Hey, do you remember when Miley tweeted this stuff?

ever feel like you want just…. something more. not sure what exactly…. passion perhaps?

sometimes i feel like i love everyone more than they love me. hatttte that feeling.

Thought of the day: maybe it’s not that they love you less, they just love you the most they are capable of loving.

& there is no trouble in paradise…. just thoughts.

That was weird, huh? How would that make you feel if you were Liam Hemsworth, Miley’s betrothed? Probably kind of bad, huh? But bad enough to request that Miley delete her Twitter altogether?

From Hollywood Life:

“Miley’s tweet was such a huge insult to Liam. She tried to pass it off like it had nothing to do with him, but it totally affected him, no matter what she tries to say,” an insider tells Star magazine.

“She was trying to get his attention, but she just ended up making him pull away from her more. He think she’s acting like an immature schoolgirl, and he wants her to get off Twitter completely,” the source added.

Miley already quit Twitter once before in 2009 — allegedly due to her relationship with Liam. In a YouTube video, Miley, 16 at the time, spoke about her personal reasons for quitting. “Yeah, the rumors are true, I deleted my Twitter,” Miley raps in the video. “I had to say goodbye,” she continues, “and this little rap is to tell my fans why.”

“I want my private life private,” she raps. “I’m living for me.”

“FYI Liam doesn’t have a Twitter and he wants ME to delete mine with good reason,” Miley tweeted back in 2009. ”It wasn’t because my friend told me to. I stopped living for moments and started living for people.”

Yeah, whatever. On one hand, I can totally see where Liam’s coming from. I’m no stranger to reading passive aggressive things about myself online, and it’s super annoying, especially when it’s coming from someone close to you. Add in the fact that thousands of strangers are reading those things and making assumptions about you because someone can’t be bothered to be assertive and confront the issues directly? That’s got to be super super annoying. But on the other hand, Liam demanding that Miley delete her whole Twitter just sort of leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

I don’t know about these two, friends. I just don’t know.

Here’re Some Photos from Miley’s Two and a Half Men Thing

photo of miley cyrus from two and a half men pictures
Remember how I told you guys that Miley‘s going to be on Two and a Half Men? Because here she is! On Two and a Half Men! And while it would appear, from the photos, that she’s Ashton Kutcher‘s character’s love interest, that’s actually wrong, and as previously reported, she’ll be the girlfriend of the half-man, portrayed by Angus T. Jones.

What I really want to talk about though, is Miley’s massive, bulging cleavage. Did girlfriend, you know, get a boob job or something? Because normally when you lose a bunch of weight and tone up from being GLUTEN-FREE an LOVING PILATES, your chest doesn’t grow larger, it, too, shrinks in proportion to your body as your body shrinks. And we all know just how tiny Miley is these days. Check that picture out up there. Those are some mega-boobs, as least as far as Miley’s frame is concerned.

Take a gander through the rest of the pics. They all feature wondrous, wondrous boob.

Love It or Leave It: Miley for the iHeartRadio Music Festival

photo of miley cyrus iheart radio pictures
Man. One day she looks like a bag of smashed assholes, and the very next she looks like this (read: not a bag of smashed assholes).

This is Miley‘s getup for the iHeartRadio Music Festival, and she looks completely and entirely amazing. Look at that toned midsection. The perfect-colored blonde. The just-right hem of her pencil skirt. I love everything this picture stands for, guys, and when it comes to Miley normally, this just isn’t the case. The only thing that’s complete and utter crap? That gaudy, gold-tone MOSCHINO belt. Uck.

Miley’s awesome look—love it or leave it?

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Aww, Something’s Wrong in Miley-ville

photo of miley cyrus pictures hair sad face pic
So I’m really, really sick today, and I hate it. I never get sick. Seriously, I’m sick once, maybe, in a three- or four-year period. I’m talking chills, a sore, dry throat, and that nagging cough that won’t go away—the whole shebang. So awesome, right? Naturally, I’m going to be pretty much to the point on this one: Miley Cyrus is about to derail. De-RAIL.

Have you been paying attention to Miley’s Twitter over the last day or so? Because it seems like she-of-the-short-hair has run into some emotional troubles that totally don’t point to trouble in paradise (how do I know? Miley said so herself when one of her Tweets read “& there is no trouble in paradise…. just thoughts). Nope, not at all. Here’s what Miley’s been saying:

ever feel like you want just…. something more. not sure what exactly…. passion perhaps?

sometimes i feel like i love everyone more than they love me. hatttte that feeling.

Thought of the day: maybe it’s not that they love you less, they just love you the most they are capable of loving.

& there is no trouble in paradise…. just thoughts.

And a whole three hours later, Miley talked about sharing “quality” time with her fiance:

having some quality fiance time. just what i needed.

There’s definitely, definitely something amiss in Miley’s world. Because just the day before, she was Tweeting things like this:

lifes been so good lately. awesome fam time today w my mom and brother, making doppppe music, chillin w my mates in town ? thank u universe

So … I don’t know. Is it good? Does it suck? Do you love it and hate it at the same time? Do things just change that rapidly in Miley-world? I dunno, guys. But I think maybe someone should start paying a little more attention to the subtext, there.