Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Miley Cyrus

Look, Miley Cyrus Has Another New Music Video!

Well, don’t get too excited. It’s actually a song by Borgore, but it does feature Miley Cyrus. She shows up about halfway through, then starts throwing cake everywhere and spreading it all over her boobs and looking hot as hell. Yeah, but really. When did Miley get so hot? Is it the haircut? It’s probably the haircut.

Another fun fact: that unicorn that Miley’s making out with? That’s Liam Hemsworth. It’s Liam Hemsworth wearing a unicorn mask. And now I’m super bummed to think that my day peaked three hours after I woke up.

Oh, and the song itself, how do you feel about it? I feel pretty much just like “whatever.” The chorus is catchy though, right? I don’t know, I’m still hung up on the Liam Hemsworth unicorn.

Miley Cyrus Is Having Three Weddings

A photo of Liam Hemsworth and Miley Cyrus

Sure, why not? It’s not like she’s doing anything else right now besides Twitter and haircuts, so why not plan three weddings? Oh, because it’s completely ridiculous? Solid point.

From Star via Celebitchy:

Miley Cyrus’ motto is “Go big, or go home!” The 19-year-old diva is planning not one but three weddings to Liam Hemsworth, Star has learned. The source says one will be at their home in Los Angeles, another in her native Tennessee and yet a third in Liam’s homeland of Australia next year. “Miley is planning to wear a different dress at each one,” says a friend, who adds the wedding budget is already more than $1 million. Miley revealed that Liam, 22, popped the question in May with a 3.5-carat rock after she sang a favorite song of his, titled “Lilac Wine.” “I’m like, ‘He’s looking at me funny!’ And then I knew,” she said.

That just sounds crazy stressful, but with Miley’s money, I’m sure she’ll have more than enough planners to take care of everything. And the more I think about it, the more I can understand her reasoning. I mean, she gets to look at and talk to and sleep with Liam Hemsworth for the rest of her life (or the rest of her teens). If that’s not something worth celebrating, then I don’t know what is.

Miley Cyrus is Scurrd Pantsless

photo of miley cyrus nudes pictures no pants pic halloween photos
No, I have no idea why Miley Cyrus doesn’t have any pants on, either, guys. Or shoes. But if we can speak honestly (and if we can’t speak honestly among friends then what, I ask you, can we do?), this look is loads better than the last time we talked about Miley, back when she was on the ‘Tonight Show’, and that’s not saying a whole lot. Or it is. I don’t know.

I guess this is just the Miley we get for 2012 and probably for 2013, too. Can we deal with it? I don’t know. She’s turned out much, much differently (?) than I think anyone originally thought she would, and it’s both good and bad, depending on how you look at it.

PUT YOUR PANTS ON, MILEY.

Love It or Leave It: Miley’s Tonight Show Look

photo of miley cyrus pictures tonight show pictures
Oh God guys. This is what Miley wore on her latest guest appearance on the Tonight Show With Jay Leno, and you’ll have to excuse me for the blatant lack of that whole pretending-I’m-not-as-aghast-as-I-totally-am thing that I’m normally pretty OK with, because this is horrific.

What else is Miley up to, aside from choosing really, really unfortunate outfits to wear on late-night shows? Well she’s jumping on the bandwagon of puking on stage. Yup. This is what she had to say during a recent interview:

“I had that happen one time. I got off stage quick enough and my mum was sitting there with a bucket. But I just kept going back and forth, like, ‘I’ll be back in five seconds’, then I’d return and go, ‘Here I am everyone, fabulous – sorry front row, you all now have the flu.”

This is what celebrities are chalking the puking-on-stage thing up to now? The flu? No more eating disorders run rampant, or late-night benders resulting in sideshow yak? Heavens.

That outfit, though, right? Gah.

Nick Jonas Tries for Relevant, Writes a Song About Miley

HARRUMPH. And the song? It’s called ‘Wedding Bells’. This is what Nick, himself, had to say about the song:

“We’re in the process of recording a new album, which is both good and bad, [the bad being that I had to] dive into subjects that make us uncomfortable and write about them. … You have to write a song and apologize for it later. I don’t think I’ve ever written a song that makes me as uncomfortable as this song does. Some things happened in the last year that affected me in that moment. … This song is called ‘Wedding Bells.’ “

If that clue right there is a little too vague for your tastes, try this one out for size—a lyric in the song says, “If you recall our anniversary falls/ Eleven nights into June,” and you’re as obsessed with Nick and Miley as much as I used to be some people are, then you’ll know that their anniversary *also* fell on June 11th. Of 2006. But hey, who’s counting, right?

Last, unless Selena Gomez is engaged to Bieber on the DL, and also throw away all of the other clues that allude to Miley, one can only assume that he’s talking about Miley, you know?

Look, Miley Has A New Song!

Well, new to her, anyway. The actual song is 40 years old, originally done by Melanie Safka. And the video isn’t too new either, judging by Miley’s totally old hair and her missing engagement ring. But it’s new to us, and that’s what matters, right?

So are we digging it or what? Because I kind of am. I haven’t heard too much of Miley’s music, but I definitely, definitely like this country twang she has going on these days. When you compare this to “Party in the U.S.A.,” there’s really no comparison, is there?

Guess Who’s Getting A Lifetime Movie!

A photo of Miley Cyrus

IT’S MILEY, Y’ALL.

Following in the footsteps of Lindsay Lohan (oh dear god), Miley Cyrus is starring in her very own Lifetime movie. However, Miley’s deal is a little different than Lindsay’s. See, Miley’s movie is actually a miniseries, and it will air on both Lifetime and the History Channel. Why? Because Lifetime and the History Channel are both owned by the same company, and Miley’s movie is about Bonnie and Clyde.

Let that sink in for a minute. Miley is starring in a Lifetime (and History Channel!) miniseries about Bonnie and Clyde. How could this be anything other than perfect?

We only know a few things about this right now: it’s four hours long, it’s Miley’s first starring television role since Hannah Montana, and it’s going to be amazing. And really, isn’t that enough?