Dear Jennifer Hudson, this is awful. Sorry. Sincerely, me.
Time for the Best And Worst Celebrity Looks Of The Week. We’re covering late July and very early August. In case you didn’t know. And now you do. And learning is fun. Obviously, Courtney Stodden’s lettuce bikini is included in here.
BEST: Dita Von Teese
WORST: Bachelor Sean Lowe
WTF?!?: Click to find out! (It’s a doozy.)
I know it’s supposed to be rude and stuff to compare two women or men against one another, and it’s probably contributes to a lot of self-esteem issues in our world today, but you know what? THIS IS A SNARKY GOSSIP BLOG. This is the kind of stuff we do. Also? It’s Friday. If you don’t like Hayden Panettiere or Michelle Trachtenberg, and can’t even come close to fathoming what they’d look like in your bed next to you, holding your penis instead of those stupid shoes, then mosey on to the LOLCatz website, where you can rank the hotness of cats or whatever and destroy their sense of self-worth instead.
Hayden and Michelle – two equally-hot ladies in their own rights, with two totally different looks.
Who would it be?
Michelle Trachtenberg has always been an adorable girl (I’m a big Pete & Pete fan), so I was a little shocked to see how much Photoshopping appeared to be done on her new Maxim spread. It’s not that she’s been rendered unrecognizable, but she definitely has a more polished look in these photos than I’ve ever seen before. In these photos her face looks daintier and more symmetrical than usual and her arms look like they’ve had about an inch of width hacked off of them. Don’t get me wrong, she looks hot, but what’s wrong with the real Michelle?
Do you think these photos look overly-doctored or is this Michelle as you’ve always seen her?
Gossip Girl’sMichelle Trachtenberg at the Crystal Lucy awards — doesn’t that sound like some sort of porn performance accolade? — wearing something that resembles the foil wrapped around a baked potato.
I’d like to take this opportunity to congratulate myself on not mentioning Michelle’s calves this time. I’m maturing.
Gossip Girl’s Michelle Trachtenberg was one of many celebs that showed last night for the 2008 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.Â She really should have considered a pantsuit.Â Or a maxi-dress.Â Are those still in?Â Â She’sÂ got big tree trunks…what can I tell ya?Â Normally I’d think that she’s probably a niceÂ girl whichÂ completely trumpsÂ being big-kneed but in this case I don’t think her personality wins any points.Â Who goes toÂ the VS Fashion Show and can’t put on some lip plumper?Â Wait-maybe she thought the tube said “leg plumper”…hmmm…
There were lots of other interesting people that were there but not together (that’s code for “formerly fucked”)Â like Sean Combs and Aubrey O’Day (I’m convinced they did the deed because he does like…everyone)Â and Brody Jenner, Paris Hilton and Kristin Cavallari.Â
Every year is the same goddamn thing for this show.Â Â Here’s the gist:Â wings, feathers, boobs, $5M bra, tanner,Â body glitter, hard-ons, feathers, leather, Heidi Klum’s inflated sense of self-importance.Â We get it Heidi; you’re head Angel.
Please make sure you look at Shakara on the pink (gag) carpet.Â I’ll put her right near the top of the massive gallery.Â “Who is Shakara?” you say…I don’t know.Â No one knows.Â A model.Â And the fucking funniestÂ wardrobe choices I’ve ever seen.Â She has found a way to wear schizophrenia.
Rachel Weisz says it’s okay to drink while you’re pregnant. “Amen to that,” says Lindsay Lohan’s mom. [Cele|Bitchy]
If there is, in fact, a way to get America to a film version of Sweeney Todd, it’s probably Borat. [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
Shocker of shockers. Justin Timberlake is out and about, being a self-absorbed ass. [Girls Talkin' Smack, Pop on the Pop]
Oprah and her couch are not invited to the TomKat wedding. [Bossip]
If Paris and Nicole can be BFF again, perhaps there’s hope for Britney and Madonna? [The Bosh]
You should return that bulk purchase of lube to Costco, guys. There won’t be an Eva Longoria/Beyonce lesbo flick afterall. [Junkiness]
Michelle Trachtenberg and DJ AM? In my mind, this is the definitive answer to “Which B-list celebs do you care about the absolute least?” But apparently they’re also banging. [A Socialite's Life]