2Beyoncé, Jay-Z, Britney Spears and 11 Other Celebrities Get Hacked, Are Really Rich

Another day, another celebrity hacking. This time it’s not tits and ass we’re getting a peek at, but rather private financial information of some of Hollywood’s biggest stars (and a few politicians, too). Surprise: they’re all rich! Filthy rich!

From TMZ:

Twelve big celebs and political figures, including Jay-Z, Beyonce, are the victims of a hacker who has posted detailed information about what appears to be their finances … and we’ve learned law enforcement is on the case.

A website — we’re not disclosing the name — has posted social security numbers, mortgage amounts, credit card info, car loans, banking and other info of major celebs.  In addition to Beyonce and Jay-Z … the site has snagged financial dossiers of Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, Mel Gibson, Ashton Kutcher, Joe Biden, Robert Mueller, Hillary Clinton, Eric Holder and LAPD Chief Charlie Beck.

The site was not able to get a lot on Joe Biden or Hillary Clinton, but most of the others on the list have had their financial info compromised.

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ … the LAPD has already launched an investigation.  We’re told the FBI is looking into it.

Damn. Donald Trump and Britney Spears were also added to this list soon after the initial report emerged. Basically nothing is private anymore, not even the financial information of big stars who can, presumably, pay or extra security measures to keep this info from getting out. It’s unclear what anyone would be able to do with this info since presumably, if you tried to steal money from these people, you’d have a damn hard time getting away with it, but maybe I’m just not up on the latest criminal approaches. Not really my scene.

I’m sure we’ll see some more celebs added to this list in the coming weeks. How much do you want to bet that since this is involving famous people, the perps will be caught and in jail by week’s end? Everyone knows Hollywood personalities are important than real crimes affecting regular people.

March 12, 2013 at 6:30 am by Jennifer

0Mel Gibson Wants to Help Lindsay Lohan

Mel Gibson did some quickie interview a couple of days ago, and he mentioned that, in the past, he’d approached Lindsay while she was having some trouble. Being the kind man that he is, he said that he may reach out to her again in these, her most trying of times. Isn’t that sweet? And when he was asked about her recent troubles, he said “well, we all know about that. It takes one to know one.”

I’m not exactly sure what that last part means beyond “ha ha, I break laws too,” but this is just a bad plan, I think. Mostly because it just doesn’t make any sense. When you’re really bad at something, you don’t look to other people who are also bad at that thing for advice, do you? When I had to take a dance class to graduate college, I was absolutely terrible at it, and when I needed help, I spoke to my friends who had taken ballet since they could walk or my friends who had some natural ability to dance that was so far beyond me. I didn’t ask the guy who twisted his ankle because he thought he was some bad ass who could practice leaps in skinny jeans. It’s common sense.

And you know, I don’t need to read about the tumultuous love affair that will start when these two crazies cross paths. I don’t need to hear those tapes. None of us do. So could we just nip this in the bud now? Please

December 5, 2012 at 2:30 pm by Emily

4Mel Gibson Doesn’t Even Get Why Nobody Likes Him Anymore

Poor Mel Gibson. It must be so hard to be so disliked. And really, for what reason? What did Mel Gibson ever do that was so bad? Do you know? Mel Gibson doesn’t know. Mel Gibson has no idea why you don’t like him.

Here’s what Mel had to say during a recent interview after being asked if Hollywood is a forgiving town:

No it’s not. They have to forget. I don’t even think they’re vindictive. I don’t think they think there’s reason to forgive. And forgive what to begin with? What are they asking for? It’s almost like can you please forgive me for what? What did I do, really? It is kind of ridiculous. So it’s kind of hard to pinpoint exactly what needs to be forgiven and I don’t consider that anything does because I didn’t hurt anyone. But you know, hey that’s life. It ain’t easy and it’s not fair. You’ve just got to slip the old water off the back and move on.

Yeah, it’s so not fair. Yeah, he’s a horrible racist and anti-Semite, and sure, there are plenty of recordings to prove it. And yeah, he hit his girlfriend a bunch, and he might have hit a baby. But what did he really do?

I just can’t even. How does Mel Gibson’s mind work? How does he not understand this? How is that even possible?

August 15, 2012 at 2:30 pm by Emily

1Surprise: It’s Another Terrifying Recording of Mel Gibson!

It’s been nearly two years since we were graced with all those recordings that let us in on the private life of Mel Gibson, but I know we all remember it like it was yesterday. It’s not every day that you hear Mel Gibson violently screaming at someone to blow him (or at least it wasn’t until that fateful summer of 2010). The memories of Mel’s terrifying rants will surely stick with us for a long, long time.

And probably even longer now that we’re still hearing them.

Ok, we have to catch up a little bit. This story has been developing for a week or so, so I’ll just give you the rundown real quick, all right? See, Mel Gibson was trying to make this movie called The Maccabees, which is weird, because the Maccabees were a bunch of hardcore, badass Jews, and that doesn’t really sound like Mel’s cup of tea, does it? But Mel got this guy named Joe Eszterhas to write the movie for him. Time went on, things happened, and then Warner Brothers was like “you know what, never mind, let’s not do this movie right now,” apparently because they weren’t feeling Joe’s script. So Joe wrote this big long letter to Mel, basically saying that Mel never wanted to make the movie in the first place, he just wanted people to get off his back for being such a bigot. He also went on and on (the letter’s nine pages long) about how crazy Mel is, about the awful things he called Jews and Oksana and about all the times he had to deal with Mel’s crazy ass. Mel responded with what was essentially just a big ol’ “nuh-uh,” and here we are.

So what’s the deal with the new recording? In the letter Joe wrote, he said that in December, he took his family down to Costa Rica to stay at Mel’s house down there, along with some other guests. One night, everyone was waiting for dinner, and Mel was checking out the internets, and he saw a picture of himself with his baby daughter, Luci, and he flipped out because “I look so f-cking old! I look horrible! That f-cking whore is destroying me! She’s taking my looks! I hate her! She’s destroying my life!” Totally rational, right?

Mel then, according to Joe, starting running around the house and knocking things over, and yelling about both Oksana and Joe’s script. He screamed a bunch of random obscenities, and then drove away. Is that believable? Could you see Mel doing all that? Of course you can. And if you can’t, here’s the recording to prove it:

Here’s the transcript so you can read along at home, since it’s a little hard to understand him when he gets all full of rage like that.

Oh, and sorry for the nightmares.

April 19, 2012 at 9:30 am by Emily

3Thank Goodness Mel Gibson Didn’t Sign A Pre-Nup

You know why? Because Mel Gibson‘s divorce from his wife of 28 years, Robyn, was just finalized on Friday. That means that Robyn gets half of everything Mel has. And Mel has a lot:

Among Gibson’s estimated assets: more than $600 million grossed by The Passion of the Christ alone; $100-plus million in real estate investments worldwide (he bought an island in Fiji for $15 million in 2005); and $75 million for film and TV projects for which Gibson, 55, executive produced.

It appears some of his wealth has already been transferred to Robyn, in particular two Malibu homes worth a combined $22.5 million. As for film residuals, Robyn is entitled to half of every future check Gibson receives for the rest of his life.

I would go on about how much Robyn deserves this and how completely unimaginable it would be to be married to Mel Gibson for nearly 30 years, but I just can’t. I’ve slept like four hours in the past two days and I just got all these student loan bills in the mail, which is always depressing, and on top of all that I have to explain to my little guinea pig that his first Christmas is over and he probably won’t get to open presents like that until his birthday in June. I just can’t think about being married to Mel Gibson or how some people have 800 million dollars.

But maybe you guys can! Which would you rather have: a few decades with Mel Gibson for a lover or about $400 million?

December 26, 2011 at 2:30 pm by Emily

6Robert Downey Jr. Thinks It’s High Time to Forgive Mel Gibson

Robert Downey Jr. is one magical dude. We all know that. He’s been through a lot, he overcame, and now he’s Mr. Peanut. Could you even ask for a more inspiring tale?

Well, it looks like RDJ himself is asking for one, because he’s saying that the time has come to forgive Mel Gibson for all his wrongdoings. And what a fairy tale that would be!

Robert Downey Jr. created what could become a turning point in Mel Gibson’s public rehab last night, by heaping praise on Mel, telling a large crowd of celebrities that Mel deserved forgiveness.

Downey was being honored for his life work in Beverly Hills, when Mel took the stage and recalled how he had helped Downey when he was down and out, reflecting that people had warned him of Robert’s bad ways, but all Mel could see was a good guy. Then Mel made fun of himself, cautioning the crowd to remember who was making the assessment.

Then it was Downey’s turn. The two had worked together in “Air America,” bur more significantly, Mel had posted an insurance bond for Downey when all the movie companies refused because he was such a high risk.

Downey used a metaphor that he and Mel shared, telling the crowd, “When I couldn’t get sober, Mel helped me” … by giving him food and shelter. Downey said Mel told him to find faith and accept responsibility — Mel called it “hugging the cactus.”

Then Downey told the Crowd … Mel hugged the cactus long enough, and the place erupted in applause.

Yeah, I’m not so sure about that. Mel Gibson did a lot of bad things, like an unbelievable amount of bad things. But then again, RDJ isn’t asking that we go on a date with the guy, or let him join our book club or anything. He’s just asking that Mel gets the chance to act again. And maybe that’s ok.

What do you think? Should Mel continue to be shunned, or is it acceptable to let him make movies again?

October 16, 2011 at 11:00 am by Emily