GUYS. Brace yourselves, OK? Brace. yourselves.
From the UK’s Observer:
“My girlfriend Lindsay’s twin just had a baby and I’ve started to think that maybe I wouldn’t mind passing my demented genius on to some small thing who can set fire and breathe profanity.”
And there were, of course, other parts to the interview that were much, much less scary (example: “My body is a place where drugs and alcohol have made germs afraid to live. I have no health problems to speak of, touch wood,” and “Johnny Depp is like a brother to me. We have matching tattoos on our backs – Charles Baudelaire, the flowers of evil, this giant skeleton thing. It’s kind of a secret. People say to us, ‘Why did you get that?’ And we say, ‘No reason.’), but that baby comment really, really takes the cake. Can we go ahead and discuss just how horrifying a prospect that would be?
Here’s some more from the interview—and I warn you—it doesn’t sound like this guy’s got all of his bolts fastened properly, I’m warning you right now:
Actors always want to be musicians and musicians want to be actors. The thing with Johnny is, he was a musician first, so he knows how to jam. He has taught me how to get in a room with someone I don’t know and start playing.
My mum has dementia so she doesn’t know who I am now, but when she did she’d say: “Gentlemen prefer blondes.” And I would say: “But I’m a villain.”
If you think about it, the hero is the good guy almost by default. They have this moral code they follow simply because they’re supposed to, not because they really believe in it. The villain is the one with real passion.
I’m not some sort of sexual deviant. I think I would laugh nervously in the face of a threesome. I’m shy. I’m the kind of person who turns the lights out.
I fall in love very easily. I love absinthe, I love being alive, I love music. But love is a narrow word. It’s hard to define.
I am drawn to women who are independent and creative, which is problematic because it’s a struggle, a competition of careers. There’s jealousy. And if you don’t want to be known as Marilyn Manson’s girlfriend, why would you be it?
I’m on good terms with my ex-wife [Dita Von Teese], but I saw her last night at the Met Bar in London and I think there’s a part of her that’s still pissed at me.
I can’t sleep without the TV on. It doesn’t matter where it is. I don’t like silence. My ears ring from loud music.
I think maybe my dad understands me. It’s hard to tell. I find the people who understand me best are the people who don’t assume things.
I’m not saying he’s the worst guy in the world to be a dad, because I think that old MM has a lot that probably redeems some of the oddities and … ahem, unfortunate things that he’s done in the past, but cripes. I just don’t know, guys.