Today's Evil Beet Gossip

It’s the Time of the Season …

So hey. Hey, guys. I wanted to see if we could sit a spell and talk about a few things that are going to be happening here around Evil Beet Gossip over the next couple of weeks, because if it’s anything I hate, it’s a surprise. Unless, of course, that surprise is Courtney Stodden remixing and remastering ‘Don’t Put It on Me, Girl’, because that would be the best surprise I could ever probably get in life, next to that one wish of being able to eat all f-cking day and night long without putting weight on (because I would definitely never stop shoveling terrible things like fried chicken and Ghirardelli Twilight dark chocolate into my mouth).

No, some of the changes around here are going to happen one way or the other, and I thought it would be best to let you guys know and not spring it on you, because a) it has nothing to do with Courtney Stodden, and b) I really, really love you guys from the cockles of my pitted heart.

The thing is, Emily and I will be leaving Evil Beet Gossip effective February 1st, and two very fabulous, very talented ladies will be taking our place as Editor and Managing Editor, respectively. Bobby Pfeiffer, who many of you might know as a wonderful, long-term commenter on Evil Beet Gossip, will take Emily’s place, and Jennifer Still, who is affiliated with Hello Giggles and Digital Spy, will be taking the helm as Managing Editor. I have full confidence that both of these smart, sassy, and snarky women will be the perfect combination of awesome and bitchy that you guys generally come around for (I mean, really; why else would you be here?).

Before you ask—NO, Emily and I did not get fired for punctuation errors, nor did we lambaste LeAnn Rimes one too many times for her agent’s taste. No, Emily and I will be moving on to the land of Los Angeles, where taxes are higher and Arnold Schwarzenegger was once commander-in-chief (what the f-ck was that all about anyway). We’re embarking on another Editor-Managing Editor relationship, because really, you just can’t separate us (really—you apparently can’t).

Please don’t be angry, and please be nice to the new ladies. They’re going to excel in their positions, and we’ll occasionally be checking in to make sure everyone’s playing nice. Thursday, January 31st will be the last time you’ll have to sit and be subjected to Emily and I, and ’til then, well … ’til then, I guess. We’ll miss the crap out of you guys, I promise. Thank you so much for being the wonderful readers that you are. I’m going to go cry and eat the rest of that ham now.

HOLIDAY GIVEAWAY: Facebook Friends (and Non-Friends), Listen Up

photo of lindsay lohan pictures rotten teeth pic
We’re approaching another milestone in Facebook fans, and when we hit 5k likes, we’re going to give away a pretty good-sized Amazon gift card.

All you have to do—LIKE US ON FACEBOOK. Suggest the page to your friends. In short, help us get our number up to 5k as soon as humanly possible, because if we don’t give this Amazon gift card away (in time for the holidays, mind you), it’s going to burn a hole in my pocket and I’m going to spend it. And you know what? I don’t think the higher-ups would be very happy with me spending your dough on economy-sized packages of Andes mint candies (oh my God have you ever), ugly Christmas jumpers, or extra-fuzzy socks. Thing is? We’ll double the amount if we receive the five-thousandth like by the 15th of December, ten whole days to spend your Amazon money and get your stuff in the mail in time for Christmas.

Get liking and get sharing!


Hey! It’s Thanksgiving!

What, did you seriously think I was going to let this day (or the next) pass without the holiday’s own theme song? But on a real note, this is the song I’ve been singing all damn day long as I baked pumpkin pies and chocolate cream pies and cracked open rutabaga with my hatchet and mallet and chopped so many onions that my eyes are starting to look all puckered-like and red:

So yeah, Happy Thanksgiving! And make sure you eat lots and lots and lots, because this holiday’s all about being super thankful for everything we get to stick in our pieholes tomorrow, ’cause by God we’re going to live to regret it come Friday morning. Which is when we’ll see your beautiful faces all over again, because believe it or not, there are people out there who care about our malignant asses and want to share the day with us (probably just because we can bake some mean pies and poultry).

Happy Thanksgiving, again, friends, and this year I’ll totally be thanking my lucky stars for all of you, you who I share bits and pieces of my life with on a daily basis. You’re the best readers anyone could ask for, and I’m not being sarcastic—for the first time today.

Happy Independence Day!

photo of lindsay lohan fourth of july pictures
Or if you’re in another part of the world that’s not the US, Happy The US-is-Practically-Shut-Down-Day!

As you all know, we celebrate our independence from England today, as we’ve been doing year in and year out for the past two-hundred thirty-six years or something, and we intend to do it the right way.

What am I doing this fine Fourth of July? Well, dressing my family and myself in various scraps of red, white, and blue, barbecuing all sorts of high-fat, high-cholesterol meats that are more than likely coated in some kind of sticky, sugary substance, and watching fiery explosions in the nighttime sky while drinking mint juleps and gin and tonics.

Good thing we’re free, y’all.

What are you guys doing, if anything?

Check out celebrities in red, white, and blue in the meantime, and we’ll see you tomorrow! Be safe!