Feeding the homeless is ok though.
As you all know, the Kardashian name took a huge blow when Kim Kardashian divorced her husband of 72 days. People just don’t think as much of Kim as they used to (you know, back when she got famous for getting peed on), and in these trying times, Kim’s doting mother, Kris Jenner, has put her lovely daughter on lockdown:
Kris, the 56-year-old Kardashian family matriarch, has gone into major damage controland has laid down the law with her scandal ridden daughter, telling Kim that she has to stay out of the spotlight now that her divorce filing has caused so much bad press for the family.
“They did not anticipate the extreme backlash and the damage it would cause to the K-brand as a whole. The whole empire has been affected by this dumb marriage and Kris Jenner is all about getting paid,” a source close to the family told RadarOnline.com.
Kim’s public appearances have been strictly limited by her mom-ager since she filed for divorce on October 31 after 72 days of marriage to Kris Humphriesand hastily returned from an Australian promotional tour.
“Kim and her sisters are the puppets. Kris is the puppeteer,” the source said about the family dynamics.
Kim hasn’t been allowed to venture into public, and she won’t be allowed until after tonight’s season premiere of Kourtney and Kim Take New York because “Kris wants to make sure that the ratings are huge for their show and she knows that if Kim stays under the radar until that airs again they’ll get the maximum publicity out of her situation.”
November 27, 2011 at 7:00 am by Emily
Do you ever wonder exactly how people like Kim Kardashian or Paris Hilton get so incredibly, unbelievably rich with no discernible talent? Or even just any old celebrity, like, say, Beyonce, who, along with husband Jay-Z brought in $72 million this past year alone: yes, they work hard and they’re talented, but how do they get that ungodly amount of money? Sure, there are some cases where these stars come from rich families, but some people are just inexplicably wealthy. Did you ever wonder about how?
If you’re a little curious, check out this little breakdown to see where a lot of this money comes from:
1. On average celebrities make $33,000 per pound just for losing weight on an endorsement deal.
2. $10,000 per Tweet
3. 50% of all proceeds from staged paparazzi photos
4. $10,000 “secret” endorsement checks to wear certain items of clothing.
5. $100,000 for baby photos (except for the very high end babies which can command $1 million)
6. $25,000 for a club appearance
7. All expense paid trips for them and their entire family to show up and say they support a charity
I can’t. It’s too early, I’m too broke, I can’t. $10,000 to wear free clothes? $33,000 per lost pound? $10,000 per Tweet? Goddamn. I don’t know whether to try to figure out where I went wrong that I’m not making thousands of dollars for going to a club or to try to figure out where our society went wrong. I think I’m going to settle for somewhere in the middle, and of course by “somewhere in the middle,” I mean “stay in my pajamas all day, watch The Notebook and Beaches over and over, and weep.”
November 22, 2011 at 6:30 am by Emily
“I empathize. It’s not easy. It’s the hardest thing in the world. People judge you because divorce is seen as failure. [Kim] took a risk. No one should be attacking her. Our attention should be focused on things that are truly scandalous.”
While I’ve always had a lot of admiration for Olivia Wilde’s face, I’ve never really cared much for her words or her actions. Despite that, I think she might have a point here. We shouldn’t be attacking Kim, and we definitely should be focused on truly scandalous things. Like her ass. That’s what Olivia Wilde is saying here, right? We need to focus more on Kim Kardashian’s ass.
November 18, 2011 at 3:30 pm by Emily
From Amy Grindhouse:
Last night, [Jonathan] Jaxson went on Twitter and live-tweeted his suicide attempt. He failed, thankfully: ‘These chest pains worry me…all as I sit here looking at a bottle of round objects. It is too much anymore and tonight I was bullied! I feel like going to a better place then [sic] here on Earth right now. One is trying to destroy my life and I won’t ever win. Suicide I would never promote, but it is me against money and elite and I will never ever ever win… This is no hacker…It is me.’ He blamed the Kardashians for using their money and lawyers to intimidate him into keeping quiet. Since, you know, she’s threatening to sue for calling her a famewhore. Soon after, a friend went on Jaxson’s feed to say: ‘Hey everyone. This is Jons BF and I just am getting here. He left all this up. Medical personal [sic] are here and are taking him now. Thank you… Thank you for getting the police to his house. It was because of you they said. So thank you! I must go now to the hospital.’ RadarOnline.com also reports Jaxson posted a YouTube video of himself crying, talking about being bulled by her and her lawyers. The original video and his Twitter have since been deleted.
The aforementioned Jonathan Jaxson was Kim‘s publicist from 2007-2009 who recently came forward and brought various private emails, ostentatious contracts, and the fake, recycled engagement ring to the rapt attention of the public.
But wait. OK. Live-Tweeting your “suicide attempt” is probably a little bit more than just your standard cry for help, and I think this guy’s got (and had) a lot more problems than he’s letting on – even bigger problems than keeping up with the Kardashians – but I could also totally see where the Kardashian/Jenner family would do everything in their power to keep their little cash cow from entering the light, exposed for the cheap little bovine that she really is. Everything, up to and including malicious threats and bullying. Classy, huh?
November 18, 2011 at 4:30 am by Sarah
You guys might have seen some comments around these parts or on other blogs about a “Kardashian Free Zone Day,” a boycott of the E! channel on November 27th. You also might have seen talk of a petition requesting that E! entirely remove the Kardashians from their programming because “these shows are mostly staged and place an emphasis on vanity, greed, promiscuity, vulgarity and over-the-top conspicuous consumption. While some may have begun watching the spectacle as mindless entertainment or as a sort of ‘reality satire,’ it is a sad truth that many young people are looking up to this family and are modeling their appearance and behavior after them.” Right now, the petition has nearly 85,000 signatures, so whatever you’ve seen, people are getting pretty sick of the Kardashians.
Personally, I’m torn. I’d never seen any of the Kardashian shows until this weekend. Don’t tell anybody, but I was really bored and curious, and I watched the first four episodes of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I appreciated the show like I appreciate Jersey Shore: it’s mindless drama that’s just fun to watch. I enjoy giggling at the stupidity of people, and since these people are getting paid ridiculous amounts, I don’t feel bad for it. Everybody wins! Except, I suppose, whatever people actually look up to the Kardashians. Oh, and those girls who were very young when the show started and were almost inevitably warped by Kris Jenner‘s need for money and fame, they didn’t win either.
So really, I don’t know where I stand. I don’t want the young impressionable youth to think that emulating Kim Kardashian is remotely ok, but at the same time, I can’t imagine that Bruce Jenner’s face will ever fail to make me smile. Is it too ambitious to dream that we lived in a society where people made their own choices instead of going with whatever idiot who made her way on television has to say?
Where do you guys stand?
November 16, 2011 at 4:30 pm by Emily
Yeah, you read that correctly: Kim’s marriage is the best time of her life, not “was,” or “would have been if it’d gone on longer than three lunar cycles.”
Kim‘s the cover model for Marie Claire‘s December issue, and the following is excerpts from the interview that was taken just weeks before Kim officially filed for divorce. See, Marie Claire, even YOU were duped.
Here she is on those pesky breaking-up rumors:
“[No] – I feel like where we’re at right now is the best time in my life.”
On her undying love for husband Kris Humphries:
“I’m not worried about him at all. We have a lot of trust, and I don’t think either of us would do anything to break that. It makes life so easy. He’s such a good guy; he is so down-to-earth, and it’s such a reality check. He is a normal guy, and I just want to chill out and be normal and not get glammed up all the time. He gets it. Sometimes my life can be really intimidating for people, but he allows me to work and do what I’ve gotta do.”
On being happy to rush into marital commitment (though she changed her tune days later):
“We felt like, ‘Why wait?’ It’s fun to have a partner who understands your life and lets you be you.”
How she learned her lesson from her first marriage (which lasted a WHOLE FOUR YEARS):
“I was 19, and I didn’t know myself. As unhappy as I was, and as happy as I am now not to be in that relationship, I learned so much from it: who I wanted to be, who I never wanted to be — you take all those issues and move on. I learned how to cook and do a lot of marital things. It definitely taught me what being a wife is all about. I think it means taking care of each other’s needs and being there for someone unconditionally.”
Ha! What a tool, right?