Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Kim Kardashian

They actually did it. They named her North.

north by northwest poster

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West named their baby North. It was a rumor and also a joke that they would do that, and I honestly didn’t think they would. But they did. North West. TMZ got this info from Cedars Sinai, the hospital where Kim gave birth. I picture them getting the info the way Alex and his droogs clubbed people with sticks in A Clockwork Orange.

Fun fact: North was Roger Ebert’s most hated movie.

Twitter is making so many puns right now. Even Voldemort got in on it by tweeting, “So I’m assuming that North West won’t be a One Direction fan?”

Kim Kardashian Breaks Silence on Motherhood: “It’s Crazy”

 

kim kardashian

Kim Kardashian has never really been a woman of words – at least not words anyone cared about hearing, that is. Still, she’s remained bizarrely silent since giving birth to America’s Kanye West‘s baby on Saturday nearly 5 weeks ahead of schedule, making everyone that much more hungry for details about the nameless child. Well, you’re not getting any of those, and you’re not even really getting a statement from Kimmypie, but what you will get is a sentence she apparently wrote in an email, as dictated by Ryan Seacrest. TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT, PEOPLE!

From Ryan’s KIIS-FM show:

E! News’ Ken Baker phoned in to On Air with Ryan Seacrest to share that despite giving birth five weeks early, both baby and mom are healthy.

“This was not planned,” he explains. “It came on very quickly and when it was time for the baby to come, it was time for the baby to come.” Ken adds that the moment was so unexpected, “the whole family was [even] dispersed all over the place.”However, Ken confirms: “[The baby] is healthy and Kim is doing well … There’s a great sense of relief. Everyone is very happy for her and Kim is relieved [because] this was a very stressful time.”So now that her daughter is here, how does Kim feel about being a mom?Ryan shared he emailed her moments after she gave birth, saying, “Yay! Congrats my darling, you’re a mommy!” and that she responded: “Cant believe it! It’s so crazy!”

I love that Kim had time to get on email after giving birth. Because, you know, can’t miss those bids pouring in from People and US Weekly – gotta figure out which to sell the kid’s first pictures to, after all.

To be fair, I’m sure motherhood is “crazy”, but she’d better start believing it soon… unless of course the nanny’s are gonna raise this thing, which seems likely. That’s a random nanny, by the way, not The Nanny, Fran Drescher (though how great would that be?). I’ll show myself out.

Baby Kimye Doesn’t Have a Name Yet

kim kardashian kanye west

Apparently Kim Kardashian and Kanye West haven’t been able to agree on a ridiculous enough K-name for their first child, or so the story goes. I have it on good authority that they actually HAVE chosen a name and if our ~source~ is right, it’s horrendous, so let’s hope People got it right and a birth certificate has yet to be printed.

“She was admitted with medical complications and her doctor made the decision that her baby needed to be delivered. Kim had a natural birth,” the source says. “If Kim would have had very serious complications, her doctor would have decided to do an emergency c-section instead.”

As for the baby girl’s name, Kardashian, 32, has mentioned in the past that it will likely begin with a ‘K,’ but so far, she and West, 36, remain undecided, although a second source tells PEOPLE that they are close to a final decision.

“Kim is being very protective of the baby and she says there is no official name,” the first source notes.

LOL I guess we’re gonna keep playing the “Kim delivered naturally” game for the rest of our days, but whatever. I’ve lived with worse lies (suuuuure, David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson totally didn’t have an affair during The X-Files!) so I can deal with this. If she did have medical issues that required a C-section – or even if she just chose to have one – why not just say that shit? Ain’t no shame when it comes to the miracle baby.

Any wagers on the name?