Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Kim Kardashian

Missed the VMAs? Let me catch you up!

Did you miss last night’s MTV Video Music Awards? You’re not alone. I generally purposely try to miss the broadcast, but for whatever reason, I actually tuned in this year – via torrent, of course, which means I got to skip over the seemingly endless ad breaks. Here are the 10 moments that people are talking about/will make you seem totally “on it” around the water cooler at work.

Beyoncé. Everything Beyoncé.

Beyonce Jay-Z Bluey Ivy VMAs

Beyoncé was given the Video Vanguard Award after giving an incredible performance of a medley of pretty much every single song on the self-titled album. I know I get a bit Beyoncé-d out sometimes, but you can’t deny she’s an incredibly accomplished performer and that award was extremely well-deserved. Jay-Z bringing little Blue Ivy up on stage to hand her the statue at the end was the extra cherry on top. SO CUTE.

Blue Ivy VMAs

Miley Cyrus got a homeless man to accept her award.

miley cyrus homeless man VMAs

Miley Cyrus won Video of the Year, but instead of accepting the award herself, she sent a homeless man from the area on stage to represent the homeless community in Los Angeles and bring awareness to the cause. Miley was in tears the whole time he was speaking, but I can’t tell if this was genuine or some weird hacky PR move. I’m feeling optimistic today, so I’ll go with the former.

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Kim Kardashian donates most of her “charity” proceeds to herself

kim kardashiann

Kim Kardashian is the WORST. Not only is she selifsh and hell-bent on promoting an insidious brand of idiocy that is numbing the brains of human beings around the world, but she’s also kind of a shitty person, too, as it turns out. Why do I say something so definite about her? I mean, after all, she does so much charity work and really gives back! Problem is, the person she’s giving back to is herself.

From Radar Online:

In December 2013, Kardashian bragged about giving 10% of November proceeds to Life Change Community Church, a ministry founded and supported by her mom, Kris Jenner.

And though Kardashian’s financial records are private, and the church, as a tax-exempt organization, does not keep public records, Radar has uncovered 2013 tax documents from the company that processes charitable giving on eBay, revealing a glimpse of how much Kardashian gave, and how much she kept to herself.

According to the Paypal Charitable Giving Fund tax documents, Life Change Community Church received $44,917 from eBay sales in 2013. What was Kardashian’s cut?

She’s said, “When the eBay numbers get broken down, the auction management agency that posts for me gets a percentage for all their hard work, then, eBay listing fees, end of auction fees, eBay Store fees, Paypal fees, etc, all add up to about half the sale. Then I give 10% to charity.”

That means that in 2013, based off the amount Life Change received, the total amount of the sales could be roughly $898,340, making Kardashian’s final cut as much as $404,253. (While portions of sales could have come from other eBay members, Kardashian is by far the most prominent.)

I mean, look – maybe there’s a logical explanation to this. After all, Kim’s looks won’t last forever and once they’re gone, she’s got zero career. She has no discernable talent and has never actually worked a day in her life, so maybe she’s panicking about not being able to provide for herself or buy new thong bikinis to take selfies in if she runs short on money?

In all seriousness, this is disgusting. What a greedy human being – no wonder most charities don’t even want her in the first place.

Jessica Simpson wants a Kim Kardashian ass

jessica simpson kim kardashian

Jessica Simpson may have shed pounds and got super ripped lately, but apparently she’s still not happy with her body and is considering surgical enhancements to her backside to get an ass more like Kim Kardashian‘s. GOD NO.

From The National Enquirer (LOL) (via Radar Online):

“Jessica has always felt competitive with Kim, but since she got her figure back it’s gone up another level. She’s been poring over photos of Kim’s butt for weeks, studying it from as many angles as she can,” an insider told The National ENQUIRER.

“But Jess realizes there’s no way she could get a sexy booty like Kim’s with just exercise. So she’s been looking into fillers and various butt lift options to see which procedure will give her the same shape.”

“She’s checking out all other options first before going under the knife, but Jessica wants people to be talking about her booty before the end of the year.”

I mean, this has got to be a joke, right? Nevermind the source – I just can’t imagine anyone actually wanting to look like a walking piece of plastic with a massive ass. Leave it alone, girl. Even Kim didn’t get her “sexy booty” (barf) with just exercise. It’s fat from other parts of her body shot into her ass with a needle. HELLO.

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