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Khloe Kardashian

2Khloe and Lamar Aren’t Doing Khloe and Lamar Anymore

A photo of Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom

Here’s a question to consider: how do you imagine all the Kardashian kraziness will end? There are a couple of broad options, as far as I can tell. One would be that it will never end. Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe would hand over the reins to Kendall and Kylie Jenner, who will in turn hand them over to the offspring of Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe, and the cycle will continue forever. Another option is that the public will lose interest in these people in the next couple of years or so, and the shows will get cancelled and they’ll all slip away into obscurity. The last option is that they’ll get tired of the cameras and the attention and retreat into privacy all by themselves.

With Kim and her trusty sidekick, Kris Jenner, I’m sure it will be that second option. But in a not-so-surprising move by our favorite Kardashian, Khloe has officially decided to end her show, Khloe and Lamar, on her own terms.

From TMZ:

Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian have decided to pull the plug on their spin-off show “Khloe & Lamar.”

Sources tell TMZ, the show’s second season will be its last … because Lamar wants to focus on reviving his fizzling NBA career.

As we previously reported, Lamar was relegated to the Dallas Mavericks’ inactive list after putting up career low numbers this season. If he’s lucky, he’ll be traded. If not, who knows …

But we’re told Lamar is determined to make a comeback — and he feels he should focus on only one project. Lamar will be living in L.A. full-time and he’s hired trainers to help him get his game back.

According to sources, Khloe and Lamar WILL make occasional appearances on the reality mother ship,”Keeping Up with the Kardashians” — but that’s it. No mas.

Yeah, Lamar didn’t do so hot in Dallas. He took a leave of absence for a while to take care of his ill father, and he missed quite a few games, and then he was demoted to the D-League for a bit, which I think would be like making Justin Timberlake give up all his fancy movies and fame and go on back to the Mickey Mouse Club. Then a few weeks ago, Lamar made a statement saying that he and the team have “mutually agreed that it’s in the best interest of both parties” for him to quit the team. The only thing I know about basketball is that I have a knack for hitting myself in the face with the ball, so I have no idea where Lamar can go from here. Would it be a long shot for him to get traded? Is it almost certain that he’ll have to retire? No idea.

All I know is that Khloe sounds like a lovely, supportive wife, who is also a Kardashian who is willingly stepping out of the spotlight. Yeah, I’m still having trouble comprehending that one.

April 30, 2012 at 6:30 am by Emily

5Love It or Leave It: Khloe Kardashian Looks Good From the Eyebrows Down

photo of khloe kardashian fashion pictures photos pics
You know, normally, we have a bevy of good things to say about Khloe Kardashian, especially considering the fact that she is* a Kardashian. But this weird face-wear? It’s bad, and it makes girlfriend look really, really dumb. YOU ARE SO DUMB, Khloe. Or at least, you look that way with the thing that’s pasted to your forehead that makes your eyebrows look low and lunky, like a caveman.

I don’t even get what she’s trying to do with all that forehead business while wearing that outfit. She should have on a paisley peasant blouse and Hammer pants if she wants to really work that thing, because looking like she walked off the cover of American Eagle’s 2002 catalog doesn’t really fit the whole “Dr. Spock’s vulcan bindi” vibe that she’s apparently going for.

Also, Khloe Kardashian is not pregnant. Not with how tight those jeans are, hell no. Girl is looking fine, I have to hand it to her. Now if she’d stop taking fashion pointers from Princess Jasmine on E, she might make some headway in being the hottest “Kardashian” of them all.

Check out the photos of Khloe with Kim and Lamar this past weekend in NYC in the gallery.

*Subject to review

April 23, 2012 at 12:30 pm by Sarah
Filed Under: Khloe Kardashian

3Is Khloe Kardashian Pregnant?

A photo of Khloe Kardashian

If there is one thing that the world knows about Khloe Kardashian, it’s probably that she’s most likely not a biological Kardashian. But if there are two things that that world knows about Khloe Kardashian, those things are that she’s most likely not a biological Kardashian and that she really, really, really wants to have a baby with her husband, Lamar.

For the past year or so, probably a little longer, there’s been an absolutely insane amount of stories devoted to Khloe’s uterus. According to popular gossip, Khloe’s always having fertility treatments or going to a number of specialists or just crying for days about not being pregnant. She’s talked before about how she wants kids, definitely, but she denied the talk about fertility treatments, and she says that she’s leaving it all up to God.

God must have penciled in some time to work on Khloe’s womb then, because according to her father-in-law, Joe Odom, she’s finally pregnant:

Yeah, excuse me if I don’t believe every word of that. On the show (I can’t remember which, there were a few weeks where I just watched Kardashian shows to take the focus off my issues and put them on their stupidity, so it all just sort of blends together), we saw that Lamar’s dad wasn’t really there for him growing up, but ever since Lamar became a successful basketball player, he would pop up every few months asking for money or tickets to a game. Lamar even pays his rent, and if I remember correctly, he had some pretty serious drug problems. He doesn’t seem like the most credible guy. And besides, you can’t trust anyone who says dumb things like “everything is everything” over and over. You just can’t.

Still though, it could be true. He might have just slipped up and made that announcement for them, and wouldn’t that just be so great? I don’t have to tell you again that Khloe Kardashian is the best Kardashian – I don’t have to, but I will – and I think she would just be such a happy, adorable pregnant lady. I hope this is true with all my heart, but I just don’t think it is.

But, you know, whatever. It doesn’t matter. Everything is everything, you guys. Everything is everything.

April 18, 2012 at 4:30 am by Emily
Filed Under: Khloe Kardashian

3Sorry About the Whole ‘Two Kardashian Posts in One Day’ Thing

Although I suppose we should be broadening the parameters to include week, month, year, and – oh! right – ever.

Let’s just do this one by the numbers, shall we?

At the :13 mark, I just love how Khloe almost biffs and heads down the steps. That are about two and a half inches in rise. Love you girl!

:27. Kris Jenner makes me want to punch small, furry animals in the face. Hard.

:30. Yup. Still wanting to punch small, furry animals in the face.

:35. Any particular reason we’ve had to endure so much of Kris Jenner’s f-cking geriatric shimmying? Anyone?

:47. OF COURSE Kim‘s main lyric is “Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir.” You know what that means, people who don’t speak French? It means WILL YOU SLEEP WITH ME TONIGHT. Tramp.

1:04. My four-year-old just asked me why that lady was wiping her bum on the steps. I told her because she was a nasty, nasty lady.

1:10. What’s with the slo-mo hair whipping?

1:20. That’s as low as Kim can go? Doubt it.

1:28. Looks like an excerpt from Kim’s sex tape. Just with clothes and no F-list black man who’d later be partially responsible for the death of Whitney Houston.

Did I miss anything? Covered it all, did I?

April 3, 2012 at 2:30 pm by Sarah

7Look, It’s Another Kardashian Ad!

A photo of Khloe Kardashian, Kim Kardashian, and Kourtney Kardashian

It’s an ad for the new Kardashian Kollection swimwear collection, and unlike that lingerie ad, this one hasn’t been Photoshopped at all!

Oh goodness, you guys, I can’t keep that up all the way throughout this whole story: the Kardashians are Photoshopped. There, I said it. They’ve been ridiculously Photoshopped. Just look at Khloe and her torso. Do you see her waist? Or rather, her lack of one? I’m not calling her fat, because she’s not, I’m just saying that I’m pretty sure her waist measurement isn’t the same as an eight-year-old’s. But really, get a good look at her hand there: hand on hip, pretty normal pose, right? Except after the Photoshopping, she’s just got her fingers oddly placed on her waist, and what used to be her hip has been replaced with air. I’m not even going to start on Kourtney and Kim. The magic of editing, right?

Of course, all the Kardashian girls have already expressed their excitement over the photo. Kim did it by way of her blog, and Kourtney and Khloe went through their beloved Twitter, but here’s what they had to say:

Kim: ”We’re so proud of the swimwear collection and I think you guys are going to love it!! I’m wearing the blue ruffle bikini, which is one of my favorites!”

Kourtney: ”Ready for summer in my Kardashian Kollection bikini! What do you guys think?”

Khloe: “Love this new pic of me and my sisters rocking our Kardashian Kollection swimwear line!!!!  So ready for summer!!!!!”

What I want to know is how this whole thing happens at all. I know that excessive Photoshopping is pretty much the norm nowadays, but how does it work? Do the models see the pictures and go “oh my gosh, no, edit out the majority of my body,” or do photographers and editors sit the models down and let them know that they plan on editing out the majority of their bodies? Do the models just assume that once the photos actually get to where they’re going they’ll inevitably be Photoshopped beyong recognition? Are the models ever upset about it, do they worry that they’re not pretty enough already, or is it just part of the procedure now? And lastly and most importantly, does anyone really think that we won’t notice?

March 28, 2012 at 4:30 pm by Emily

11And Now the Kardashians Have a Lingerie Line, Too

photo of kardashian lingerie collection pictures photos 2012 pic
You know, there’s a question that’s been burning deep inside of me for quite some time now (and no, it’s not just the kidney stones, either) and I need an answer. I need one. Why do photographers feel the compulsion to Photoshop such hellacity into each and every one of the Kardashians’ faces? Putting all biases aside, they’re pretty enough girls. They do alright on their own. Why interfere in that with poorly-done computer-generated imagery when things are just fine the way they are? Because do you see the above ad for the Kardashians’ new lingerie collection at Sears? It’s flat-out awful. Just … bad. Of course, the lingerie is just fine, and even though all three of them are way bustier than they appear to be in real life, the girls’ faces are just too much for me to handle, and not in a warm, fuzzy way. It’s all way too much.

Khloe, though, for one? Well, she loves the way the photo looks. On Twitter she said, “OMG how fab is this new ad for Kardashian Kollection lingerie?!? Nothing makes me feel sexier, plus it’s all so comfy! Killing two birds with one stone! LOL.” Comfy? Lingerie is comfy? In what parallel universe is lingerie comfy? See, when I think ‘comfy,’ I think ‘granny flannel’ and ‘argyle knee socks’. ‘Yoga pants’ and ‘camisoles’. Definitely not abrasive lace that always rubs your cracks and crevices the wrong way, padded underwires that poke and prod and bruise ribs, or thigh-highs that don’t want to stay up on their own. But yeah. ‘Comfy’, right?

Incidentally, the shoot was done by Annie Leibovitz, whose work becomes more and more questionable as the days go by. Also, what’s with the spray-tanner, and why is it so heavily concentrated on their faces? Is someone trying to send a message here?

The ladies may be quite pretty, and everyone likes lingerie (though let’s not fool ourselves with words like ‘comfy’ here), but this ad? It’s just complete crap, much like the quality of lingerie sold at Sears probably is anyway.

March 14, 2012 at 10:30 am by Sarah