Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Kanye West

Don’t worry, North West’s Name Is “Symbolic”

kim kardashian kanye west

There was a collective LOL heard ’round the world when Kim Kardashian and Kanye West actually named their daughter North (that was our tipster’s info, so good to see they were reliable!), but the happy couple want you to hold the laughter and understand the deeper meaning here. That’s right, North West‘s name is a symbol… and not of nonsense.

According to TMZ, Kimye have said that they see the baby as the “North Star” and gave the best soundbite of the year when they apparently told friends the following:

“What’s north of north? Nothing.”

HAHA! Well, can’t argue with reason, I suppose?

A bonus to this story is that Kim has apparently been sending out batches of fake baby photos to her friends to see which of them are going to try to hawk the pics of North to the press first. CLEVER – almost TOO clever for a Kardashian, you might say. Hilariously, two people came forward to TMZ wanting to sell photos of the baby (which aren’t real). Here’s one of them, anyway:

north west

Kanye West Proposed to Kim Kardashian, I Guess

kim kardashian kanye west

Kanye West has taken a note from his true love’s wife and “put a ring on it”, because he’s apparently proposed to Kim Kardashian just a few days after she gave birth to their daughter, North West (still cracking up that that’s a thing). According to The Sun, Yeezus has yet to buy a proper engagement ring but gave her a $750k “black and tiger-stripe diamond ring” as a push present. Uh, ew?

New dad Kanye West asked Kim Kardashian to marry him just days after she gave birth to their first child.

The reality star has accepted his proposal and the pair are planning a wedding in Paris this September.

A source said: “Kanye wasted no money in making sure Kim had the best of everything while she’s in hospital.

“He has spent half a million on a ring as a push present and had it designed months ago in preparation.

“He’s even more in love with her now than ever and they can’t wait to get married.”

Well, that seems legit. I mean, just look at the happy couple above – they’re clearly so in love they can’t keep their eyes off each other, and Kanye is positively beaming with his adoration of her. Like, what even is this?
Of course Kim will be pleased that she’s walking down the aisle again since she’s desperate to be married, but she’ll come down with a bang when Kanye refuses to let her make another $10 million or whatever she made on the last one this time around. These two are THE WORST.

They actually did it. They named her North.

north by northwest poster

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West named their baby North. It was a rumor and also a joke that they would do that, and I honestly didn’t think they would. But they did. North West. TMZ got this info from Cedars Sinai, the hospital where Kim gave birth. I picture them getting the info the way Alex and his droogs clubbed people with sticks in A Clockwork Orange.

Fun fact: North was Roger Ebert’s most hated movie.

Twitter is making so many puns right now. Even Voldemort got in on it by tweeting, “So I’m assuming that North West won’t be a One Direction fan?”

Kim Kardashian Breaks Silence on Motherhood: “It’s Crazy”

 

kim kardashian

Kim Kardashian has never really been a woman of words – at least not words anyone cared about hearing, that is. Still, she’s remained bizarrely silent since giving birth to America’s Kanye West‘s baby on Saturday nearly 5 weeks ahead of schedule, making everyone that much more hungry for details about the nameless child. Well, you’re not getting any of those, and you’re not even really getting a statement from Kimmypie, but what you will get is a sentence she apparently wrote in an email, as dictated by Ryan Seacrest. TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT, PEOPLE!

From Ryan’s KIIS-FM show:

E! News’ Ken Baker phoned in to On Air with Ryan Seacrest to share that despite giving birth five weeks early, both baby and mom are healthy.

“This was not planned,” he explains. “It came on very quickly and when it was time for the baby to come, it was time for the baby to come.” Ken adds that the moment was so unexpected, “the whole family was [even] dispersed all over the place.”However, Ken confirms: “[The baby] is healthy and Kim is doing well … There’s a great sense of relief. Everyone is very happy for her and Kim is relieved [because] this was a very stressful time.”So now that her daughter is here, how does Kim feel about being a mom?Ryan shared he emailed her moments after she gave birth, saying, “Yay! Congrats my darling, you’re a mommy!” and that she responded: “Cant believe it! It’s so crazy!”

I love that Kim had time to get on email after giving birth. Because, you know, can’t miss those bids pouring in from People and US Weekly – gotta figure out which to sell the kid’s first pictures to, after all.

To be fair, I’m sure motherhood is “crazy”, but she’d better start believing it soon… unless of course the nanny’s are gonna raise this thing, which seems likely. That’s a random nanny, by the way, not The Nanny, Fran Drescher (though how great would that be?). I’ll show myself out.

Baby Kimye Doesn’t Have a Name Yet

kim kardashian kanye west

Apparently Kim Kardashian and Kanye West haven’t been able to agree on a ridiculous enough K-name for their first child, or so the story goes. I have it on good authority that they actually HAVE chosen a name and if our ~source~ is right, it’s horrendous, so let’s hope People got it right and a birth certificate has yet to be printed.

“She was admitted with medical complications and her doctor made the decision that her baby needed to be delivered. Kim had a natural birth,” the source says. “If Kim would have had very serious complications, her doctor would have decided to do an emergency c-section instead.”

As for the baby girl’s name, Kardashian, 32, has mentioned in the past that it will likely begin with a ‘K,’ but so far, she and West, 36, remain undecided, although a second source tells PEOPLE that they are close to a final decision.

“Kim is being very protective of the baby and she says there is no official name,” the first source notes.

LOL I guess we’re gonna keep playing the “Kim delivered naturally” game for the rest of our days, but whatever. I’ve lived with worse lies (suuuuure, David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson totally didn’t have an affair during The X-Files!) so I can deal with this. If she did have medical issues that required a C-section – or even if she just chose to have one – why not just say that shit? Ain’t no shame when it comes to the miracle baby.

Any wagers on the name?

Baby Kimye Is a Miracle!

kimye

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West‘s baby girl doesn’t even have a name yet (well, you know what I mean), but she’s already the talk of the town. And by “the town”, of course I mean every gossip site and entertainment publication ever. Even Kim’s sister Khloe has gotten in on the fun, giving a “statement” about what  “miracle” her new niece is and letting us know that more information will be revealed “when the time is right“. So basically, when a magazine writes a check with a number that looks good to them, eh?

 

 

Well, that’s lovely. I just want to know what the kid’s name is!

Kanye West Isn’t All That Concerned About Album Leak, His Label Can’t Say the Same

kanye west

Kanye West‘s clusterfuck of a new album, Yeezus, leaked online last week… as albums released after 2005 inevitably have. Everyone expected it and it’s not really a big deal – plenty of studies have shown that leaks don’t actually impact album sales – but Def Jam is piiiiiissed and on the hunt for the person responsible for putting the songs online. Who really cares? Well, not Kanye. While the label is starting a veritable witch hunt for the leaker, Kanye’s sorta just shrugging and probably concentrating on more important things, like demanding croissants and spending time with America’s baby – er, sorry: with his  new daughter, who is in no way a public figure.

From TMZ:

Sources close to Def Jam tell TMZ, leaks like this aren’t uncommon — especially in the digital age — in fact, the record company has a special leaks division that deals with problems just like this.

“Yeezus” was scheduled to drop June 18, but the entire album has already surfaced on the web.

According to sources, the leaks division employs various methods to track down the source of a leak … as well as to put a stop to any further illicit file sharing. We’re told the record company already has a lead on who’s behind the leak and plans to take swift punitive action.

As for Kanye — we’re told he’s cool as a cucumber.

Sources close to the rapper say Yeezy feels it’s almost inevitable for a highly anticipated album to leak … especially with so many cooks in the kitchen.

Sorry, bros at Def Jam – as long as people are smart enough to rename their .zip file into something nonsensical, you’ll never find all the uploads, no matter how many copies of Yeezus you manage to pull off Mediafire. And again, who really cares? I’ve worked at a major label before and the lengths they go to when you receive pre-release copies (including watermarks with your personal information embedded into them, making the disks unreadable on your computer, etc.) is kinda bonkers considering, once again, that anyone who was going to buy the album will still buy it when it comes out, anyway. This is one time I can actually say “good on Kanye” for not being uptight over some bullshit.