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Kanye West

Kanye West Is “Too Squeamish” To Be With Kim Kardashian During Labor

Kanye West Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian is due to give birth to Kanye West‘s child any time now, and he’ll most definitely be there to support her… from the waiting room. Turns out, Kanye has no plans of being in the delivery room as his baby shoots out of Kim’s vagina because he’s “too squeamish” to be witnessing all that grown up girly stuff. Yuck!

From In Touch Weekly:

In Touch can exclusively reveal that although Kanye has assured his pregnant girlfriend Kim Kardashian he plans to be at the hospital when she goes into labor, “he won’t physically be in the delivery room,” an insider tells the mag, on newsstands now, adding, “He’s very squeamish and doesn’t want to be around blood.”

With only a few more weeks to go, Kim, 32, who is due to give birth to her and Kanye’s daughter in July, is prepping last-minute details.

Like her sister Kourtney did, Kim will give birth at LA’s Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. Her $3,000-a-day deluxe birthing suite includes a full-size bathtub, separate sitting room and flat-screen TV. “She will have an epidural — no C-section,” a family insider tells In Touch. “It’ll be the same routine as Kourtney.” But unlike her sister, Kim will not be letting cameras into the delivery room.

Oh, man. Listen, we know Kanye doesn’t like the reality show grind (uh, bad choice in romantic partners then, bro), but since Kim’s not letting cameras into the delivery room – which, admittedly, is a surprise – what the hell? He’s “too squeamish”? No one’s gonna make him stand down in front of her open legs and watch as the baby’s head pushes through, but he could at least be there to offer some support. SMH at these people. They both need to just go, far far away.

Kanye Dragged His Ass To Kim’s Baby Shower

kim kardashian kanye west

Kanye West is getting really good at hiding from Kim Kardashian, but even he knew he wouldn’t be able to get out of her D-list studded baby shower. So he showed up but pulled a total DiCaprio:

kanye west kardashian baby shower

Here’s an exclusive from Radar on Kanye’s sunshine and lollipops attitude:

Kim Kardashian‘s boyfriend, and soon-to-be-baby’s daddy, Kanye West, showed up at the E! star’s baby shower as guests were leaving the swanky soiree, and tried to avoid cameras that were rolling to capture the day for her reality show, RadarOnline.com is exclusively reporting.

“Kanye arrived as many of the guests were leaving,” a source told RadarOnline.com exclusively. “You could tell Kim was wondering where he was. The singer didn’t look happy to be there [and] dodged cameras that were shooting for Kim’s reality show.

“Whereas Kim was extremely gracious to all of her guests, and made it a point to spend time talking to them, Kanye looked like he had been sucking on lemons. Several of Kim’s friends felt sorry for her because Kanye just couldn’t put a genuine smile on his face.”

What? No! This sounds like very unusual behavior for Kanye West! Are we sure we’re talking about the same person??? Oh, Kanye, how could you be so…heartless? (YEEEEAAAHHH!!!!)

Anyway, yeah, not surprised he acted like this. He was an ass, but I still think at this point in time, it sucks to be Kanye. They’re all his poor decisions, yes, but it still sucks. And I still do not understand why he wanted to get involved with this family.

Kanye West Thinks Marrying Kim Kardashian Would Damage His Finances

kimye

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are having a baby together in a few short months, so one would assume that they plan to be together for a long time. Couples don’t have to get married to be committed (holler and let your love RIP, Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins), but many choose to walk down the aisle as a show of their everlasting love… or at least for the tax benefits. Turns out, Kanye’s probably dodging poor Kimmycakes because he’s got no intention of exchanging vows since it would be bad for his checkbook. LOL, work that one out.

From Star (via DS):

“Kanye has real money. He won’t marry Kim because it would hurt his finances.

“Kim is a shopaholic! She spends $350,000 a month on her credit cards.

“She pays hundreds of thousands of dollars for designers to custom-make clothes for her, and she spent millions on Louis Vuitton handbags to match each outfit.”

Uh, $350,000 a month? Are you shitting me? I don’t think I could even find $350,000 worth of shit to buy in a year, let alone a month. Then again, I guess even the entire Primark summer collection wouldn’t add up to half that, so maybe we’re on different scales, here.

I think the real reason Kanye won’t marry Kim is because, duh, he doesn’t want to be with her. It’s clear he’s having major regrets about having dipped his pen into that ink, if you feel me, and he’s not trying to put a ring on it. He never was. There’s no way in hell this baby thing was planned, AT ALL, and something tells me it wasn’t a welcome surprise.

Also, here’s a present for getting through this article, but you’ll have to go behind the cut as it’s a little… disturbing. Read More

Live From New York, It’s A Kanye/Kardashian Fight!

kardashians kanye west

Kanye West is getting real sick of his extended Kardashian family — WELCOME TO EARTH!!! Mr. West performed on Saturday Night Live May 18 and things seemed to go well despite a classic Kanye rant a few days prior about how he’s not doing any “mothaf-cking SNL skits“. But apparently there was drama; it was just all backstage, where we couldn’t see. Here’s an exclusive from Diary Of A Hollywood Street King:

An insider says the arguing match between the trio all stemmed from Yeezus discovering Kris and Kim were secretly selling images of him and Kim, behind his back. That’s before we’re told Kayne began cussing Kim out, in front of SNL’s cast and crew, while Kris Jenner was being escorted out.

Here’s what an insider had to say:

“Kanye was an asshole and he was being very standoffish to everyone there. Lorne Michaels will never invite him back. Backstage Kris Jenner and Kim Kardashian with Kanye and his bodyguards and basically hovering over him while they scream and yell. The whole cast fled out of the way and security had to be called.

Kim was crying and Kris was basically being carried away by security. Chris Rock tried to step in but Kanye just brushed him to the side and was like ‘Man! this is nothing.’ Kris was raving and screaming the whole time and she felt bad for Kim.”

Can you really blame him? I STILL think that Justin Bieber is the bigger SNL douche. So, to quote Kanye, “Let’s have a toast to the douchebags.”

As for Lorne Michaels banishing Kanye…not sure if this will really happen. Kanye didn’t actually wreck the show or do anything while on stage. I think it’s more likely that the Kardashians will be the banned ones, although I doubt Kanye OR Kim & Co. will ever want to go back to SNL. You may remember in 2010 Kanye performed “Power” on SNL, which includes the lyric, “F-ck SNL and the whole cast” — and Kanye changed that line just for the show. He even tweeted,

25 Minutes to dress rehearsal … Just saw Lorne Michaels … uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum …. Akwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaard LOL!

Best of luck with all future endeavors, Kanye.

Speaking of Kanye West, Here’s ‘Black Skinheads’ and ‘New Slaves’

Kanye West is not a comedian and won’t be doing no f-cking skits ever or whatever, but he did actually turn up to Saturday Night Live and perform two new songs from his upcoming album Yeezus (yes, seriously) – ‘Black Skinheads’ and ‘New Slaves’. Well, those are… provocative titles. Too bad the execution leaves a whole lot to be desired – and that’s coming from someone who can appreciate his musical talents despite thinking he’s batshit insane.

‘Black Skinheads’ seems to have some pretty grand aspirations, but uh, Kanye? Marilyn Manson called and he wants his beat back. Also, The Black Keys called and asked if you could return their vocal effects. Oops, wait, one more message here, sorry, nearly forgot. Wackness called and congratulated you for outdoing it.

As for ‘New Slaves’, I can deal with this slightly more, but it still sounds like he wrote this shit when he got some particularly potent weed and was having mild hallucinations. Sometimes that can be a good thing, but I just wish he would stop trying to accomplish so much in a single track. Not only that, but I wish he’d stop making it in-your-face to the point of contrivance. I bet Kim’s got this bumping in some of those pregnancy belly headphones, though.

Is Kim Kardashian Having a Girl?

kim kardashian

Kim Kardashian is planning to put the Kris Jenner parenting approach into action once she gives birth, so it might be helpful if she has a girl. After all, we see how hard it is for Kris to pimp Rob out. Well, lucky for Kim, her little one just might be lucky enough to continue the royal lineage of selling yourself for very large amounts of money, because rumour has it that she’s having a daughter.

From E! Online:

Kim Kardashian’s baby shower preparations are well under way.

In fact, invitations have gone out to a select group of friends and family members for a June 2 baby-themed bash to celebrate the impending arrival of Kim and Kanye West’s first child, E! News exclusively confirms.

And as you might have guessed, these weren’t just any old store-bought invitations…

They arrived at their intended destinations in music boxes that, when opened, played Kanye’s tune, “Hey Mama,” the tribute track he wrote for his own mother, as a wind-up ballerina twirled.

Oh, brother. I don’t trust Kim and Kanye with any child, but I shudder to think of the future that baby Kimye has in front of her. Two egomaniacs for parents, one with serious delusions of grandeur and a problem with misplaced anger and the other nearly naked all the time without the sense God gave her. Therapists, wait by the phone.

P.S. Dem feet, tho.

Kim Will Follow Kanye When He Tours

kim kardashian pregnant white

Kanye West is NOT A CELEBRITY so we shouldn’t even be talking about this, but apparently Kanye is scheduling a tour for his upcoming album in October and word has it that Kim Kardashian is going to take her newly born moneylump and follow him. From TMZ:

There are reports Kim felt like Kanye was abandoning her by scheduling a tour for his new album in October — just three months after she’s expected to give birth — but sources close to the touring company tell us, that’s not true … because Kim and the baby are coming along for the ride.

And she’s not messing around either — we’re told the touring company has already been given orders to arrange for cribs and soundproof hotel rooms at every stop.

Ball so hard.

Hope your bus can float, Kim, because you know he’s hitting up all of Europe. He’ll probably go to Antarctica if it can buy him more time away from you and your childrearing plan. Not that it isn’t a great idea to bring a newly born baby on a tour bus for months.