Don’t be too broken up about it, though: I missed it, too. We all did. Hell, I think even he did.

These photos are from the BAFTA awards (which also happened this weekend, in addition to the Grammys and Whitney Houston’s death, and a zillion other things)

You might *think* these photos are NSFW at first glance, but trust me: they’re not. There’s no sign of a penis or a ball in sight, and it’s really kind of disappointing. I know Jonah Hill’s not, you know, Brad Pitt caliber or anything, but hey. A Jonah Hill penis is better than no penis at all, right?

What kind of underwear do you think he wears, anyway? I always figured Jonah as a boxers-kind-of dude, but maybe I was wrong. Maybe it’s actually thongs. Or g-strings. Or tighty-whities. Big old tighty-whities that come up over the bellybutton.

HOT.

Actually, I might have made a mistake in that headline up there. See, I think that the relationship between Brad Pitt and Jonah Hill might not be so much a BFF thing as a bromance thing. It’s a slight difference, I know, but I think it’s an important one. And I think that these two have crossed that line and are now in the midst of a full-fledged, super adorable, “dude, have we hugged for too long?” bromance.

The relationship began, presumably, when Brad and Jonah teamed up to make Moneyball. From how Jonah tells it, it seems like things got real serious real quick when Brad did Jonah a major favor by letting him sleep over at his house for four months:

“Brad [Pitt] is the coolest guy,” Hill, 28, told Jon Stewart on The Daily Show. “It sucks because he’s so handsome… You don’t wanna like him so much!”

“I was shooting [21 Jump Street] in New Orleans, and he let me live in his house,” the actor said. “He said, ‘Go live there!’ I said, ‘I’m there for three-and-a-half, four months,” and he said, ‘That’s cool. Live at my house.’ Like, he’s the nicest guy.”

“Was Angie home?” Stewart, 49, asked jokingly. “Is he that cool?”

“He isn’t that cool,” Hill laughed.

Brad let Jonah stay because on certain nights, nights when life with Angelina got too hard, when the kids got too loud, he could get away down in Louisiana. He could make up some excuse – some reshoot needed to be done, some sort of press thing – just to get away to be with someone who he could talk to. Someone he could … oh no, am I confusing bromances with romances again? Oh, Emily! You wacky girl!

But really, these two could actually be new best friends, judging by the story above and also this story about how Brad showed up and Jonah’s birthday party. You guys!

Jonah Hill’s 28th birthday party at La Descarga in Hollywood was quite the star-studded affair. A source tells Us Weekly that Hill’s Moneyball costar Brad Pitt came out for the bash, as did Angelina Jolie and Zooey Deschanel.

Pitt, 48, and Jolie, 36, stayed for about two hours at the fete. “They danced a little bit,” adds the source. “Angelina had a glass of wine in her hand.”

The couple — who let Hill live in their New Orleans home for four months while he was filming 21 Jump Street — left around 12:30 a.m., right before the dance party got crazy.

So you see, maybe, just maybe when Brad retires in three years or so, he can take some time to look up his old friend, Jonah Hill. He could take some time to remember what it’s like to form a strong, solid friendship with another man. He could remember what it’s like to feel the rough and rugged but somehow still tender touch of a big ol’ pair of man hands caressing his face with love and adoration. He could find serenity in his embrace, find … GODDAMNIT I’M DOING IT AGAIN.

Yesterday we did the Top 5 Douchebags of 2011, so I thought it only fair to give credit where credit is due (even if the aforementioned “credit” is only on temporary loan, like most credit is and then the person in slot #2 shoots back to complete grossness, and not just partial) and acknowledge those celebrities who have done some good for themselves, yes?

#5 – Evan Rachel Wood

Amazing what not sleeping next to Marilyn Manson can do for a girl, huh? She’s almost attractive these days, if you can forget that she posed naked and bloodied while eating cake. And participating in sodomy.

#4 – Mariah Carey

A lot of people thought that Mariah’s figure, at almost forty-two years old, was all but gone, and after having twins, most said that was the nail in the coffin. She sure showed them, mmhmm girl.

#3 – Jennifer Hudson

Unbelievable, right? Now if she can stop losing weight for five minutes, things might continue to be OK. Girlfriend doesn’t have another ounce to lose.

Jump in to see the top 2 transformations of 2011!

(more…)

OK. Brad Pitt may just have reaffirmed his “hottest man alive” status in my book. Or near there, anyway. Have you seen these promo shots? They are unbelievable. The pictures are gearing up for Brad and Jonah Hill‘s latest film, Moneyball, and even Jonah’s looking … well, good. I mean, he’s lost so much weight recently that my head’s spinning and I’m kind of concerned that I’m finding him mildly attractive and not-at-all repulsive these days, but damn, Brad Pitt. Damn. DAMN!

From IMDB:

[Moneyball is] … the story of Oakland A’s general manager Billy Beane’s successful attempt to put together a baseball club on a budget by employing computer-generated analysis to draft his players.

So, OK. The movie doesn’t sound great. In fact, even just keywords in the plot make me want to definitely not see this movie (baseball club … draft his players … nah). But I will look at as many photos of Jonah and Brad as I possibly can. And then I will move on.

Are y’all psyched for the apocalypse or what?!  Heads are gonna motherfuckin’ roll, you guys.  I’m so pumped.  Last night, I had the perfect excuse to do my favorite things (make out and watch Zach Galifianakis movies, natch), and today I’m going to be completely worthless and offensive and terrible all day, and if anybody calls me out on it – suck it, I’m about to go to hell, I’ll do as I damn well please.

Sad facts though: the Rapture is supposed to start on May 21st at 6:00 PM, and some people say that it’s 6:00 PM in your specific timezone, so I guess Armageddon will just roll its way across the globe at a leisurely pace.  The thing is, it’s already been 6:00 PM on May 21st somewhere in the world, and so far everybody seems cool.  That particular theory could be wrong though, so I’m going to go ahead and wait for 6:00, east coast time, and give Jesus a good hour or so to show up, then I’m going to go to the drive-in or something.

Anyway, I know there are some people that want to hear their favorite celebrities’ outlook on the End Times, so I won’t deprive you of that any longer:

See, Pete Wentz, Zooey Deschanel, Roseanne, and Jonah Hill are all very solid people with really reliable opinions, so if you’re running around losing your damn mind over the end of the world, just follow one of these people’s advice and you should be just fine.

Russell Brand and Jonah Hill on the set of  Get Him to the Greek in NYC.