Today's Evil Beet Gossip
John Mayer

Here’s The John Mayer Katy Perry Music Video

katy-perry-john-mayer-video

Well, we all hoped it wouldn’t come to this, but John Mayer and Katy Perry made a music video for their duet. You know, because they’re so ~~in love~~. It’s nauseating. Unless you ask Mr. Mayer, in which case he says it’s (via USA Today),

… just so authentic. There’s nothing scripted in that video except putting a bull in the middle of the desert.

Oh, okay, thanks. Oh God, no, Ms. Perry’s got more to say? You’re going to make a metaphor? Oh God, no.

Relationships are kind of like riding a bull – you hold on for dear life. Sometimes you get a little buck here and there, but you get back on.

KATY, I LOVE YOU, STOP. STAAAAHP.

Still not as bad as Kim and Kanye’s video.

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Katy Perry Took A Break From John Mayer To Deal With Feelings Over Russell Brand

katy-perry-marie-claire-cover

Katy Perry sat down with Marie Claire and told them everything about her love life, specifically, why she and now-boyfriend John Mayer took some time off. Personally, I’ve always thought that he broke up with her and not the other way around, but Ms. Perry makes it seem like she needed to take time away from Mayer to deal with feelings she had about ex-husband Russell Brand. From Marie Claire:

I took a break from my boyfriend, not one that I wanted. It was like a splash of cold water to search inward on what was going on with me. That is what led me to this new awakening, this realizing, If I don’t do some self-love, I’m not going to be able to keep the love that I want. I still needed to deal with all of my ex-husband stuff. I hadn’t.

It’s almost like if I kept on talking about it [the Russell Brand relationship], it would seem like I actually cared about it. I don’t.

I still think she and Brand broke up because his sex addiction came roaring back, but it’s just a theory.

She also talks about having kids:

I’m definitely not there yet, and I can’t plan that far in advance. When I decide to have a family, I’ll just want to be Mom for a little bit … [Brand] really wanted me to have children, and I knew I wasn’t ready—I think it was a way of control. I think it was part of, If I have a kid, then I would have to sacrifice—I’d have to be at home more. I really wanted to, but I knew I wasn’t ready for it. It wasn’t like, ‘Hey, let’s have a kid because we’re in love.’

Photos from the magazine shoot are below. Enjoy!

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Oh, No: Katy Perry and John Mayer Are Actually Releasing Their Duet

katy perry john mayer who you love

Remember how Katy Perry and John Mayer did that awful duet called ‘Who You Love’ for John’s album and it was kinda awful and we all sorta hoped it would just fade into the wood work and never really see the light of day? Bad news! They’re releasing it as a single! BOO!



Well, let’s just try and forget this ever happened, please. Bonus: THEY DID A PHOTO SHOOT TOGETHER FOR THIS.

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Katy Perry and John Mayer Have a Lot In Common

katy perry john mayer douche

Yes, yes, we know. Katy Perry and John Mayer are the happiest couple on earth and they have amazing sex (I’m trying not to gag) and they ALSO have a ton in common. Seems like a match made in heaven, right?

Here’s how deep their love goes (via DS):

“There’s a lot of understanding when you get home and say, ‘Ah, I had a pretty crappy show’,” she explained.

“[John's] like, ‘I understand because I’ve had one, too’. You get to share music. The dance parties are a lot more fun.”

Aw, well isn’t that special? Listen, I’m not here to tell anyone where to find true love, but I cannot imagine that these two are in it for the long haul. I really love Katy but I wonder about her choice in men. She seems to be attracted to men that she can fix or save. Travie McCoy was an addict, Russell was an addict (of a different kind), John is (was?) a douchebag womanizer… you are too good for this, boo.

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Ugh Katy Perry, Gag Me

katy perry on gold prism bus

GAG ME WITH A SPOON, YOU GUYS! Oh how have I been wanting to use that phrase for such a long time now. Katy Perry, I really do adore you, but man what an obnoxious tweet you unleashed upon us today.

Two things you need to know you understand this tweet.

1. Katy Perry is dating John Mayer.

2. Katy Perry has a gigantic gold bus driving around the country to promote her upcoming Prism album.

She tweeted this,

Look who got a BF!!! Soy Qewt!

With this photo:

katy perry prism bus john mayer bus twitter photo

Yes, that’s John Mayer‘s bus below hers. You guys, their buses are dating!!! Soy qewt!!

Anyway I’m just cranky today because it’s Yom Kippur and I’m fasting. If you are too, Godspeed.

STILL LOVE YOU, KATY.

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Oh, God: John Mayer and Katy Perry Did a Song Together

katy perry john mayer

If the fact that Katy Perry and John Mayer are a couple bothers you, prepare to get a whole lot more annoyed when you find out that the pair actually DID A DUET together that’s appearing on John’s new album, Paradise Valley.  The track, titled ‘Who You Love’ (gag me), features such genius lyrics as:

  • “I tried to run before but I’m not running anymore”
  • “If it’s who you love, then it’s who you love.”
  • “Some have said his heart’s too hard to hold, and it takes a little time, but you should see him when he shines, ’cause you never want to let that feeling go.”

Make it stop!

I don’t even know what to say about this, so I’ll just leave it here.

John Mayer Wasn’t A Douche For A Few Hours

john mayer fans guitar store

John Mayer and Katy Perry are a couple again. He even dedicated a song (“A Face To Call Home”) to her at once of his concerts, telling the crowd, “Katy [is] my face to call home.” (Huffington Post.) That’s sweet. Try not to f-ck it up this time.

Mr. Mayer and Ms. Perry were hanging out in a guitar store when they met some teenage fans. Nice celebs would pose for a photo or give an autograph, but John Mayer went even further. From The Daily News:

Julie Fermin, 16, happened to be in the SoHo store at the same time as the famous couple and had her eye on an expensive guitar she could not afford. Mayer then stepped in and purchased the instrument for her as a gift.

That was really, really nice of him. No sarcasm.

So congratulations, John Mayer. For a few hours in July of 2013, you were not a total douche.