According to sources close to Jessica Simpson, girlfriend’s in such a frenzy to tie the knot with her boyfriend – the one that I still have not remembered a name, nor do I feel so inclined to Google it right now – before ex-husband Nick Lachey marries Vanessa Minnillo, and she’s willing to rush to fit everything in before Christmas in order to ‘win.’

We’re looking at a dual Christmas wedding here, guys.

According to friends of the blushing bride-to-be:

“She wants to beat Nick to the altar. She knows that it is going to be tough to pull everything together on such short notice, so it might have to be a New Years wedding. In any case, she wants the focus to be on her wedding. She doesn’t want her wedding to be the aftermath of his.”

Not only is Jessica allegedly pulling out all the stops in order to beat Nick and Vanessa to the altar, she’s also looking at dropping quite a considerable sum on the wedding, too, in an effort to upstage her ex’s nuptial plans:

“It will be big and elaborate. She’ll spare no expensive for fear that Nick and Vanessa will outdo her. She’s already starting planning everything and has every family member working on her big day.”

… This sounds like it’s going to end well. And incidentally, if you haven’t heard, Jessica is currently refusing to sign a pre-nup agreement with her boytoy, because it’s just not all that romantic, I guess. (And for all of you caught unaware of her previous marriage and it’s intricacies, she didn’t sign one with Nick Lachey, either, and he took her for 15 million.)

I hope none of this is true, and I really hope that Jess is smarter than most people give her credit for, but I’ll lay it down for you: the pre-nup thing really has me concerned, I’m not gonna lie.

PopSugar is saying that Jessica Simpson’s rep has confirmed her engagement to her boyfriend of not all that long, Eric Johnson. Eric supposedly proposed to Jessica on Thursday, roughly a week after her ex-husband Nick Lachey announced his engagement to his girlfriend of several years, Vanessa Minnillo.

Where do I begin?

1) That ring looks like it’s from Kay Jewelers, straight up. It’s mad rude to snark on the size and quality of another woman’s engagement ring, but I guess I’m just a rude-ass bitch. I mean… Yellow gold and rubies? He’s obviously not planning on her wearing that thing for very long. Like, what the hell ever happened to classic versatility? You can bash Khloe Kardashian all day, but I respect the hell out of her and Lamar’s ring choice. ANNNNYYYWAAAAYY….

2) Who the hell is Eric Johnson? Obviously he wants to marry Jessica Simpson. Isn’t he some dude from Yale and family money? Jessica Simpson agreeing to do him on the regular is probably the best thing that ever happened to him.

3) Really, Jessica? Engaged a week after Nick? I know subtlety has never really been your forte, but like… get a clue, girl. Announcing your engagement a week after your ex announces his is like pointing a flashing red arrow at yourself that reads “I’M NOT OKAY.”

Whatever. I wish them both a ton of happiness.

“I am extremely, extremely happy for him. I couldn’t be more happy for Nick. … My mom actually called me and told me that everybody was saying that I was ‘saddened.’ And I was just in complete shock. You know, our relationship was over a really long time ago, so it would be nice if everybody could move on with us and really just celebrate the love between him and Vanessa. I do, and I wish them nothing but the best.”

Do you, Jess? Do you really? Because you’re right; it doesn’t seem like anyone can really let this go. But I think these people often forget – you were the one who filed for divorce, weren’t you? You could still probably have that smarmy-voiced git if you really, really wanted him, you know. And people just don’t get it. Nick Lachey wouldn’t even have Vanessa Minnillo if it weren’t for you, girl. And don’t let that torture you, ’cause you’re much better off without his oily arse.

Jessica Simpson sat down for an interview with USA Today, Maria Shriver and Ali Wentworth for a Women’s Conference on Monday and she opened up about some hot topics. Jessica is always super honest in interviews, but I don’t know that I’ve seen her do one in quite some time. Here are some of the choice quotes from her interview on Monday:

On seeing her ex-husband, Nick:
“He was at the same restaurant. I didn’t speak to him.”

On her new dude, Eric Johnson:
“He definitely makes me very happy. He brings out a lot of light in me and makes me very comfortable being who I am. It’s nice to be with somebody who praises you for the right reasons.”

On the constant scrutiny from the press re: her weight:
“I feel like people are constantly curious as to how much I weigh or what I look like or what I wear. There’s no way you’re not going to be affected by the ugly things people say about you. It’s very hurtful. It definitely brings up a lot of your own insecurities.”

On her relationship with food:
“I’m from Texas, I like everything fried, which is the really unfortunate thing. My relationship with food? I want it when I’m sad. When I’m happy, I don’t think much about it. But I do like to go out on a date for a good dining experience. It’s important not to say, ‘I can’t have this’ because then I obsess about it.”

On ‘the perfect day’:
“A good pampering day for me would be vegging out on the couch, eating whatever the heck I want to eat and watching all my TV shows.”

OK, so nothing groundbreaking. We can assume that she’s an emotional eater like all of us and that her ideal day involves lounging around like we saw her do for three straight seasons on Newlyweds, but that’s interesting about her and Nick ignoring each other. Not for a moment did I think they were mature enough to have healed their wounds, but I certainly didn’t think it was so bad that they would treat each other like strangers in a restaurant.

Star claims to have the inside scoop on Jess’s love life and also says that she’s over the moon over her latest boyfriend, the sometimes-football playing Eric Johnson, so much that she bought her own engagement ring and claims that she’ll “take care” of Johnson if that’s what it comes down to.

Uh, girl? Why don’t you go and talk to Britney about this one? She had a pretty similar situation, where she started dated this douchey-sounding guy (lookin’ at you, K-Fug) and bought her own engagement ring ’cause the guy hadn’t really worked for awhile, and a few years later, two kids, a divorce, several mental breakdowns and lots of cheap nylon wigs later, Britney’s, uh, “back.” “Bitches.”

Truth? Lie? Somewhere in between? You decide.

Jessica Simpson posted this picture on her Twitter last night, along with this lovely caption:

Romance 101..getting kissed by my Yalie…me not lookin’ so smart…:) but YUM!

Her “Yalie,” Eric Johnson, seems to be pretty into her, too: after just eight short weeks of dating, he’s dropping out of grad school for her.  He was all set to head back to the University of Pennsylvania, but a source says that “he doesn’t want to move to Philadelphia and leave her so soon after they got together.”  Some people are speculating that Jessica caught herself a gold digger, but I think it might be too soon to tell.

It’s not in me to hate too much on Jessica Simpson.  I just can’t do it, and I’ve even seen Dukes of Hazzard.  She just seems so genuine with everything, and I find her ridiculously endearing.  So maybe she doesn’t look too smart in that picture, and it’s possible that her new boyfriend doesn’t have the best intentions, but let’s just root for her anyway, ok? She deserves that much.