Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Jenni "JWoww" Farley

J Woww Dressed as a Nerdy Catherine Zeta-Jones for Halloween This Year

photo of j woww halloween pictures
And isn’t she cute? Seriously, this might be the best that J Woww‘s ever looked in life, and that’s almost sad, considering it’s only for Halloween.

For real, though? She’s looking a lot like CZJ circa ‘Mask of Zorro’, and if you don’t believe me, here it is:

photo of catherine zeta jones pictures
Right? Granted, Woww’s face is much puffier and a lot shinier because of fillers than CZJ’s lovely one, but there’s a lot of the same features going on there, and generally speaking, I think this is a winning look for girlfriend (both of them; how hot was Catherine in that movie? Damn).

JWoww Is Still Engaged, Ruined Her Face

A photo of Roger Mathews and JWoww

No, listen, I love JWoww, I really do. She and Snooki are my very favorites, without a doubt. I think that, for all of her drunken antics, she’s got a good head on her shoulders, and even though she claims that she’ll rip a guy’s head off after having sex with him, I think has a big heart. No, it’s just her face. She just ruined her face.

Here’s a picture of JWoww after the filming of the second season of Jersey Shore:

A photo of JWoww

She still has those enormous implants, obviously, but I don’t think she’d had any other plastic surgery at that point. She looks cute, right? But now look at JWoww now:

A photo of JWoww

That’s crazy, isn’t it? I couldn’t even begin to name the procedures she’s has done, unless there’s a “your whole face”-plasty. It’s just everything, her whole face looks weird and tweaked. And she’s only 26 years old. Just meditate on that for a minute. This 26-year-old woman did this to her face. Are you disturbed? Because I’m a little disturbed.

So here’s a palate cleanser:

A photo of Emily's cats

It’s my little kitty cuddling my big kitty’s head on top of my dresser with the teddy bears on it! They have not had any plastic surgery.

Because I Know You Were Just Dying of Curiosity, J Woww’s RANG

photo of j woww pictures engagement ring photos
Here it is. And here you are, looking at it. ‘It’, of course, would be the ill-gotten (?) engagement ring of a reality show ho who calls herself J WOWW and who prides herself on bar fights and how much she can drink (and puke) in one night. Don’t you feel good about yourself now? Because you should.

Also, good ol’ Jenny Loves the Cock is all a-titter over the ring, saying she’s not worthy of it or something. From an exclusive interview with In Touch magazine:

“It’s more than I ever expected,” Jenni, 27, tells In Touch.

Roger, 37, says he spent months planning the proposal and worked with jeweler Layna Friedman to design the ring, with a cushion-cut diamond that’s more than 5 carats surrounded by 2.5 carats of pink and white diamonds in a white-gold setting.

“Roger’s not an average-looking guy, he’s huge: his personality, his size [6'4"]. So I always said, ‘I want my ring like you — big! The bigger the better!’”

And the first person she called to share the good news? Her best friend, Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, who will be by her pal’s side as a bridesmaid or maid of honor when she walks down the aisle. “If there’s anyone in this world that wanted me to be engaged more than me,” Jenni says, “it’d be Nicole.”

So many, many things I could say about Jenni’s “the bigger, the better” comment. So many, many things I could say about the “anyone in this world that wanted me to be engaged more than me” comment. Oh good heavens. J Woww’s going to be a Jersey bridezilla with a capital HERPE (and yes, to the smart-ass commenter that, one time, said, “God I hope it’s a typo and you don’t actually believe that ‘herpes’ is a plural form of ‘herpe’, YES I’m using the word—my word—”herpe” again. LOVE YOU GIRL!).