Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Heidi Montag

Don’t Worry, We Haven’t Forgotten You … Uh …

photo of heidi montag pictures
What’s her name again? HEIDI MONTAG. Right. I have Crystal Harris on the brain from the earlier post about Holly Madison, and I couldn’t think of any other name than Crystal Harris. I mean, yeah, I guess Crystal and Heidi are about the same, really, and on the same level—the only difference is that Crystal’s going to be one rich bitch while Heidi will never be a rich bitch ever again.

This is what Heidi Montag looks like, for any of you who were wondering what thirty grand worth of plastic surgery would look like five years post-op.

What a great investment, huh? What kind of return are you getting on this shit, huh Heidi?

Heidi Montag is Back

photo of heidi montag pictures photos
And this is what she looks like going to a baby shower for “friend,” Kristin Cavallari.

From Us Magazine:

Kristin Cavallari’s baby shower looked like a mini-Hills reunion.
The pregnant 25-year-old — who wore a black maxi dress and several gold bangles — was feted by former MTV costars Stephanie Pratt, 26, Heidi Montag, 25, and Spencer Pratt, 28, at a private residence in West Hollywood, a source tells Us Weekly.

“Kristin was glowing and gorgeous. She looked so happy!” a source says of Cavallari, who entertained about 30 guests. “Guys were there, too. It was co-ed.”

Stephanie Pratt and Heidi Montag sighting at Catherine Malandrino Maison Restaurant on May 01, 2009 in West Hollywood.

Attendees were treated to cupcakes and a three-tier sponge cake by Pink Salt Event Cuisine, in addition to being served cocktails. “It was like a fun party,” the source tells Us. Petals L.A. provided the flowers.

And that? Is what Heidi Montag‘s been up to. Hopefully now we won’t have to talk about her for at least another year, huh?

Just in Case You Forgot About Heidi and Spencer …

photo of heidi and spencer pratt pictures photos pics
Whew, time sure does fly, folks. Can you believe that it’s been three whole months since we last posted about Heidi Montag, and an entire four months since Spencer was mentioned on the site? That’s like a lifetime in Hollywood. That’s, like, an amount of time that can pass and people will plum FORGET about you.

… Can we do that again, please?

Heidi Montag Turns Twenty-Five, Various Heidi Montag Body Parts Turn Two

photo of heidi montag las vegas birthday pics pictures photos

Color me stupid, but I almost fell off my chair when I read that Heidi Montag is only twenty-five. She’s only twenty-five. That means she was practically a CHILD when she had all this crazy plastic surgery. Man, what a shame. What an even-more-of a shame.

Wow. So yeah, Heidi Montag turned twenty-five and celebrated her quarter-century on earth in Las Vegas, where she pretended it wasn’t difficult for her to stand up straight with those things while making eye contact with her “peers.”

In honor of Heidi’s 25th, I’ve compiled a gallery of photos from when she looked normal. Amazing, all that plastic surgery and it did nothing for the girl. Living proof here that some things really are just better left alone.

Spencer and Heidi Have Learned from Their Mistakes, Maybe

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt at PURE on October 30, 2010

Whoooaaaaa! Did you feel that? That was the Earth settling contentedly on its axis, as all the Cosmos shrug: Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are flat broke. Or at least, that’s what the couple reports in a piteous new interview.

But perhaps they are also a little older, a little wiser? Hmm.

Spencer illuminates how the couple blew their meager fortune:

My whole million-dollar wardrobe—I would never wear that again. They’re props. Everything we were doing, we were buying props. I bought a big blue monster truck just to drive it on The Hills for an episode. Never drove it again.

Yep. And by the way, said truck was sold last month, to the tune of… $5,500. Oh, boy. Now the couple is living rent-free in Spencer’s parents’ vacation house.

Heidi, duly wistful about her plastic surgeries:

Obviously I wish I didn’t do it. I would go back and not have any surgery. It doesn’t help. I got too caught up in Hollywood, being so into myself and my image. I don’t regret anything, but if I could go back, I wouldn’t do it.

Spencer, on the couple’s foolhardy pursuit of fame:

Everything we were doing, in retrospect, was a mistake. The second we continued on our quest for fame was a mistake. This isn’t a business. That was the big thing I didn’t get: Reality TV is not a career. Anyone who says, ‘Oh, you can have a career in reality’—that is a lie.

Ah, hubris! Thy name is Spencer:

What we learned is: You can be too famous.


Hey Look, It’s Heidi Montag

recent picture of heidi montag plastic surgery pictures photos

So I don’t know if you guys heard or not, but Heidi Montag is supposed to be starring in a new reality show alongside The Bachelor‘s Jake Pavelka, the social (but way hotter) equivalent to Spencer Pratt. It’s supposed to be something about a bunch of tools opening a restaurant, but I have a feeling that it’s going to be way more than something that simple. You’ll all have to fill me in, because I’m certain I’m going to have better things to do – like re-oiling my dutch oven or something.

Check out Heidi in the gallery, and try to guess the ages of the various pieces of plastic that her body is comprised of. Maybe we can start our own catalog – now wouldn’t that be some real fun?!

Was Spencer Pratt ‘Critically Injured’ in a UK Hiking Incident?

picture of spencer pratt on a stretcher injured injuries photos

I know a lot of you are probably all like ‘Who the fuck cares?’ but I’m actually wondering if this is more of a publicity stunt than anything. A story came up in one of my RSS feeds today, claiming that Spencer Pratt was injured in a hiking accident in Wales this past week, and is in critical condition. The article alludes to head injuries, comas, and the possibility of death. It even shows a blurry photo of a man on a stretcher that may, or may not, be Spencer Pratt.

However? When I investigated this further – checked out some of the major newspapers in both the UK and the US, asked around to some of my sources, no other information came up. Like, at all.

The source of the story states that Pratt suffered severe injuries after a fall, and though he was found quickly, his condition remains very unstable. The report also insinuated that Heidi Montag fell, too, and was injured in the accident.

So, I don’t know. I guess I’m not going to hold my breath on this one, because it could pan out to be nothing more than a rumor, an elaborate scheme on Spencer and Heidi’s part to pull their names back into the spotlight, or the third option, that it’s true. I mean, bear in mind, today IS April Fool’s Day after all.

What do you guys think?