Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Cara Delevingne Is So Obnoxious

cara delevingne st vincent

Cara Delevingne is bisexual, openly so, and has dated both men and women. Incidentally, I had no idea that she’s dating St. Vincent, an indie musician who’s pretty okay. It’s a strange pairing, but they seem happy together, so good for them, I guess. Cara finally talked about the relationship for the first time in a new interview with Vogue, wherein she admitted that she’s totally in love and has accepted her sexuality… before completely undoing that by yammering on about how much she still loves dick.

As this story went to press, she was seriously involved with the singer Annie Clark, better known by her stage name, St. Vincent. “I think that being in love with my girlfriend is a big part of why I’m feeling so happy with who I am these days. And for those words to come out of my mouth is actually a miracle.”

Cara says she felt confused by her sexuality as a child, and the possibility of being gay frightened her. “It took me a long time to accept the idea, until I first fell in love with a girl at 20 and recognized that I had to accept it,” she explains. “But I have erotic dreams only about men. I had one two nights ago where I went up to a guy in the back of a VW minivan, with a bunch of his friends around him, and pretty much jumped him.”

This is basically the showbiz equivalent of “no homo” and it’s so ridiculous. Why does she need to qualify her comment about being in love with her girlfriend by also insisting that she still really likes penises? Like, hey guys, I know I’m with a woman, but it’s not SO bad – men are still SUUUUUPER HOT!1!1! I know she’s bisexual, not a lesbian, and that’s fine and valid and whatever. But imagine how her girlfriend feels? You spend one sentence saying you’re in love and the next saying about how you can’t stop dreaming about dicks? No thanks.

Cara Delevingne has pretty much always been the worst, and she’s young so it’s fine, but dear god, I hope she becomes less insufferable over time.

Beyonce Woke Fans Up At 8am To Tell Them To Go Vegan

beyonce vegan

Beyonce had the Beyhive all crazy over the weekend by teasing that she was going to make a “big announcement” during her appearance on Good Morning America on Monday. Lazy bitches across the country got up super early to watch this live, only to find out that it wasn’t a tour or a new album that was on Bey’s mind, but her diet. Specifically, she wanted you to know first thing Monday morning that she’s vegan and you should be, too.

Literally, the entire appearance was to try and sell that shitty 22-day vegan meal plan she’s been trying to hawk that people aren’t all that fond of, apparently. She spent the entire “video” claiming that being vegan was the only way she got her nutrition under control and that it has tightened her skin and made life all-around more wonderful. Basically a load of shit to try and sell crap that even she probably doesn’t actually eat. “I have to share this!” she exclaims completely unconvincingly. Gimme a break. Fuuuuuck that. Nope. BYE, Beyonce.

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Robin Thicke & His 20-Year-Old Girlfriend Are Feeding Their Dog Marijuana

robin thicke girlfriend

Here’s something you may already know but warrants saying again: Robin Thicke is a major dickhead! Since finalizing his divorce a few months ago with ex-wife Paula Patton (though he certainly didn’t even wait until their relationship was over, to be honest), he’s shacked up with a 20-year-old girlfriend named April – and just for reference here, he’s 38 – and together they’ve been living it up, having sex, smoking weed and oh yeah, poisoning their dogs.

From TMZ:

April Love Geary gushed about Bincy last month when she and Robin plunked down $350 for the terrier mix.

But things went south quickly.  April says a day after they took the pooch home it somehow got into their stash and got sick.  Bincy went to the vet, but apparently she still had a taste for the green stuff.

Three days after returning home, Bincy was back at the animal doc, for the same problem.  This time April insisted it was more of a contact high, but when friends started ragging on her she tweeted, “IT’S NOT ME!!! Some falls on the ground or she sits by him smoking and just inhales it hahaha.”

Best we can see, Bincy’s back home.  Keep those Funyons away from her, Robin … they’re dangerous.

What the hell is wrong with people? If you’re rich and you want to be a loser burnout, fair enough (and yes, I’m aware not all pot smokers are burnouts, but I think the term applies to Robin & anyone he associates with), but don’t bring your pets into it. Sure, accidents happen, and if your dog gets into shit once, you learn from that and you feel bad and you MOVE YOUR STASH so your dogs don’t get ill again. The fact that the idiot girlfriend thinks it’s hilarious, as well, tells me just what kind of assholes they are. 

Can the RSPCA not interfere here? People like this don’t deserve to own dogs.

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Celebration Time: ‘American Idol’ Has Been Canceled!

american idol

It’s the news we’ve all been waiting for, for about the past 10 years! American Idol has finally been canceled by Fox and the 2015/2016 season will be its LAST! I don’t really even understand why we’ve gotta do another season, but at least there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

From Billboard:

Speaking to Billboard a couple of hours later, [Nigel] Lythgoe — who executive produced the show from seasons one through seven, then sat out seasons eight and nine, and returned for seasons 10, 11 and 12 — says he agrees with the decision to pull the plug.

“It’s the right thing to do,” said Lythgoe, adding that it’s about preserving the show’s legacy. “I’m a huge fan of boxing, and it’s like when you’re watching a real heavyweight boxer getting to the end of their career, and all these young whippersnappers are coming up: You’ve got to know when to retire.”

That’s not to diminish from the show’s impact — not just on television, where “there’s never been anything like it beforehand,” boasts Lythgoe, but also for the music industry. “It brought people’s attention to buying records,” he said. “Judging by the amount of sales, whether it’s downloading or actually purchasing a [physical product], Idol uplifted the music industry without question.”

Yeah, sure Idol uplifted the music industry… if you’re still counting Kelly Clarkson‘s sales. Oh wait, and Carrie Underwood! Otherwise, please get out of my face. I can barely even name any other Idol winners since, so stop fooling yourself. Thank GOD this show is ending!

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Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez break up… again

selena gomez justin bieber

I think this is about the 57th time I’ve had to write that headline. That’s right: Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez have broken up. Again. No idea what happened – one second he was cooking her meals and things were honky dory. Then they went on vacation together (as seen above) to St. Martin and things went seriously downhill.

No one really knows what happened, but by the time they got to the airport to leave, they were both clearly in a bad mood and they took separate flights out. Justin headed to Paris, where he was photographed having a champagne dinner with Kendall Jenner, and Selena went home and emo tweeted the following:

kidding me


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Kris Jenner Cried Herself to Sleep Over Kim Kardashian’s Sex Tape

kim kardashian kris jenner

I can only imagine the complex emotions that must have run through Kris Jenner‘s head when Kim Kardashian‘s sex tape “leaked” a few years back: joy, elation, excitement, appreciation, anticipation… you get the point. While it’s clear that Kris clearly saw her daughter fucking on camera as the huge financial and career opportunity it actually did turn out to be, she’s trying to say now that she “cried herself to sleep” over it. Why, because you hadn’t considered making it happen years earlier? Because you probably had a lot to do with its release, anyway.

Here’s what she had to say on Joan Rivers’ web series, In Bed with Joan:

“I cried myself to sleep. I don’t think anything can prepare you for something like that when it comes to your daughter.

“I had to go into a room and cry for a couple days and say, ‘Okay, pull yourself to-fucking-gether because you have to be here for all these kids and your family, and you have to show them as an example how to get through this’.”

LOL, yeah, okay. She also claims she doesn’t really get money for being her kids’ momager:

“I said to the girl, ‘I love what I do. I think I have a lot to offer. I think I’m good at what I do but my thing is I would never take that for my own’.”

The Kardashian/Jenner family could literally comprise an entire study on famewhoring. Literally, the scholar doing it wouldn’t need to look to any other examples outside of this family. I cannot with any of them (except you, Khloe… but you need to get rid of Lamar SOON).

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Kanye West and Kim Kardashian Are Suing Over Their “Leaked” Proposal Video

kim kardashian kanye west

I swear to God, these two make me sick. Kim Kardashian and Kanye West haven’t shut up about just how elated they are about their engagement and how they wanna live in heaven together and brush each other’s fur coats or however they fill their time, but now they’re trying to claim that the video of their proposal that’s been everywhere online was actually “leaked”. Not only that, they’re trying to sue the co-founder of YouTube for it! Fuuuuuck off!

From TMZ:

In the lawsuit … obtained by TMZ … their lawyer, Eric George, trashes Chad Hurley, the guy who co-founded YouTube and sold it to Google for $1.65 billion.   Kim and Kanye claim Hurley is the one who schemed to post the video on his new Internet venture, MixBit.

K & K go for the jugular, saying Hurley was desperate to find a “second act,” after 2 flops following his YouTube sale.  In the lawsuit, Kim and Kanye claim Hurley wasn’t even invited to AT&T Park in San Fran but manipulated his way in.

Kim and Kanye say they let him stay, but only after he signed a confidentiality agreement.  And get this … they even got him to take a pic holding the signed confidentiality agreement, which is attached to the lawsuit.

The couple say, “Hurley proceeded to try to turn the event into one starring himself, broadcasting the images he knew were the exclusive property rights of someone else.”

Specifically, Kim and Kanye say he posted Kanye’s engagement proposal on MixBit and tweeted it to nearly a million followers.  He then had the audacity to issue a press release, touting his video trophy.

Kim and Kanye are suing for unspecified damages … including punitives.  Even though Kim and Kanye don’t say how much the video was worth, they mention it was destined for MC Cable Television, which is an arm of Bunim/Murray and E!, which produces and broadcasts “Keeping Up with the Kardashians.”

HAHAHA okay, so wait… the problem here isn’t that their private relationship moment was shared with the public when it was meant to be just for them… it’s that THEY wanted to make money off of it by selling it to E! Oh my God, you couldn’t WRITE better trash than this.

I don’t necessarily believe that the contract stipulated the privacy of this video – after all, Hurley is a professional and this wouldn’t be his first confidentiality agreement (and knowing how litigious Kimye are, why would he even bother pushing it?) but even if he was that stupid, kudos to him. Kimye are the fucking worst and need to be rocketed right off this planet, like, yesterday.

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