Don’t expect much coverage of the walking skidmark on humanity’s underwear that is Chris Brown here at Evil Beet now that I’m running the joint. Before he hit the spotlight, I never knew it was possible to hold so much ire for someone you’ve never met. Everything he does disgusts me, as does the way he looks, speaks, tweets, sings… need I go on? So this story isn’t really about him so much as it is about Frank Ocean, Brown’s polar opposite in every way: he’s a talented musician, he doesn’t hit women or hate gay people and he’s what seems to be a really lovely guy.
We all know the tale by now: late last month, Brown attacked Ocean outside an LA recording studio when Ocean apparently “disrespected” Brown by refusing to shake his hand. Well, you know what they say – if you can’t shake hands, ball them into fists and beat people with them. That’ll really prove to the world that you’re a reformed character! While most people would be eager to get all litigious on Satan’s human form, Ocean is taking the high road and basically just wants to leave it behind him and move on with his life because, you know, assholes never change and it’s not worth stooping to Brown’s level.
From Frank’s Tumblr:
“As a child I thought if someone jumped me it would result in me murdering or mutilating a man. But as a man I am not a killer. I’m an artist and a modern person. I’ll choose sanity. No criminal charges. No civil lawsuit. Forgiveness, albeit difficult, is wisdom. Peace, albeit trite, is what I want in my short life. Peace.”
You’re not only an artist and a modern person, Frank, you’re also someone the likes of Chris Brown could take a few lessons from.
February 3, 2013 at 10:00 am by Jennifer
Chris Brown threw the first punch in his brawl with Frank Ocean … after Frank disrespected the singer in front of his boys … an eyewitness tells TMZ.
According to someone who was on scene, Chris lost his cool in the parking lot of the famous Westlake Recording Studios in L.A. Sunday when Frank refused to shake his hand.
We’re told Frank simply laughed at the gesture … and Chris was so pissed he coldcocked Ocean and started an all-out war. As we first reported, Chris denies being the aggressor.
The fight quickly moved to the lobby of the studio … and sources say the brawling posses demolished the place –”They managed to break almost everything in the room and scare all of the staff members working” says the witness.
We’re told the receptionist called 911 … and Chris booked it. As TMZ first reported, Frank stuck around for the cops … and griped about how he felt “blindsided” by Chris.
One last thing — we’re told the parking situation at the recording studio is a serious hierarchy — with the bigger artists taking the better spots … and it’s been that way for years. We’re told Chris clearly felt he deserved the top spot … and Frank disrespected him by taking it for himself.
See, this scenario sounds way more likely than the one we first heard. Because sorry, but if there’s a situation involving Chris Brown and it turns out that someone was being a dick, the dick is going to be Chris Brown. Always.
There’s more news on this fight, too: TMZ spoke with police, who say that they have surveillance video of the fight. But remember how the fight moved from the parking lot to the lobby of the recording studio? The cameras were just in the lobby. They say that in that video, Chris and Frank aren’t physically fighting, but their friends are.
Also, Chris’ lawyer contacted police to tell them that Chris was totally ready to talk to them about what happened, because “he knows he did nothing wrong.” Ha. Oh, and Chris left real quick when he heard someone was calling 911 because his lawyer told him that if he ever felt like he was about to get in trouble, he needed to leave immediately. Apparently his lawyer forgot to really define what kind of trouble he was talking about.
Team Frank Ocean. Did that even need to be said?
January 29, 2013 at 4:30 am by Emily
Chris Brown was involved in an all-out brawl with Frank Ocean Sunday night, and sources connected with Chris insist Ocean started it.
Chris was at Westlake Studio in the L.A. area listening to one of the artists he represents. The sources say as Chris went to leave, Frank Ocean and his crew blocked Chris from leaving. The sources say Frank said, “This is my studio, this is my parking spot.”
We’re told Chris went to shake Frank’s hand … and that’s when one of Frank’s people attacked Chris. Sources connected with Chris say one of Chris’ friends jumped in front and hit Frank’s friend.
Sources connected with Chris say Frank then came at Chris … Chris pushed him away and they started brawling.
Later, they added this update:
Police have cleared the scene. We’re told Chris Brown was not there when officers arrived — but they did speak to Frank Ocean. At this point … we’re told no one wants to press charges, and no arrests have been made.
And then this one:
Cops say they will continue to investigate and want to speak with Chris Brown. They refer to Ocean as “the victim” because he’s the one who stuck around and spoke with police. Ocean said the fight started over a parking space (how L.A.) and Brown punched him. There were 6 people involved in the fight.
Yeah, no. This whole story is bogus. Not the updates, after the police became involved, but the original story. Note that it all comes from “sources connected to Chris,” and those details about how Frank Ocean started it and Chris just wanted to shake his hand. There is absolutely no way that that’s how this went down, and no one can make me believe otherwise.
But hey, do you think this could get this probation revoked? Because, you know, he’s on probation for assaulting Rihanna. Probably not, but I can still dream of justice, right?