Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Florence And The Machine

Grammy Fashion 2013

The 55th Annual Grammy Awards happened last night and all that means to me is that we get to “Ooh!” and “Ahh!” and “WTF?” over what everyone was wearing. There were guidelines this year for what attendees could and could not wear. I mean, really! Here are some highlights:

Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered. Thong type costumes are problematic. [...] Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible ‘puffy’ bare skin exposure.

Hee hee, puffy! That’s some creative phrasing.

So let’s get to some standouts, for better or for worse.

carly rae jepsen grammy dress

Singer Carly Rae Jepsen may have finally redeemed herself in my eyes after that diabolical BCBG nightmare of an outfit she wore at the 2012 Billboard Music Awards. (Rumor has it someone was fired over that outfit. I hope so.)

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Florence Welch Is A Superhero

This is a video taken at a Florence and the Machine concert. Glorious Florence Welch was singing like an angel, as usual, then she saw a man and a woman fighting. So what did she do? She stopped in the middle of the song and told them to just stop. And then she saw that a little girl was crying, upset over the fight, I guess, so Florence hopped off the stage and went into the crowd to hug the girl. Because she is a motherf-cking superhero.

Ok, hey, can we talk about something else real quick? It’s not related, like at all, but listen: Windows 8 can suck a damn dick. My old computer with the Windows 7 that I so carelessly took for granted, died on Friday (which is another story about how Dell can suck a damn dick), so I had to get another one Saturday morning. And guess what? It died today. I had it for three days. Because Windows 8 is the devil. So I had to go back to the store this morning and get another computer. This one has Windows 8 too, so I’m probably going to have to get a new one by Friday. Isn’t that hilarious?

Basically, Florence is amazing, please rant with me, and if you don’t hear from me tomorrow it’s because I robbed a bank to procure funds to build a time machine to travel to an era where Windows 7 computers were widely available. Or to buy a MacBook. Whichever.

Florence Welch Sat Harper’s Bazaar and Told Them Her New Style Icons Were the Olsen Twins

photo of florence welch harper's bazaar 2012 pictures
No, really, she did. From Harper’s UK:

… Even though it was unmistakably Florence she wasn’t dressed like Florence and she didn’t act like Florence. Even I did a double take to make sure it was her because she looked so chic, so groomed, so not her stage herself. She looked like a very chic Knightsbridge mother. She told me she likes playing with her looks, and at the moment she said she likes old lady chic, like the Olsen twins who she adores.

Well, OK. I mean, she was just one or two steps away from granny-chic to begin with, but taking pointers from MK and Ashley? Is it because MK’s dating that swanky, former-French President relative? Is Hobbity and old and eclectic and being a shut-in the new black?

The magazine doesn’t hit newsstands ’til June 4th, but we have some exclusive quotes from Florence herself (and thankfully, none of them have anything to do with red hair dye or Karl Lagerfeld):

Florence Welch on embracing her native (British) culture:

“I am definitely growing into my Britishness. The more I grow up, the more British I become. I had the best day ever [during last year’s Royal Wedding] – I dressed up and put on a crown and watched it with my mother and sister. We were shouting at the television, ‘Kiss her, kiss her again!’”

On the Queen:

“I feel she’d know the answer to all sorts of questions. For example? ‘Oh, you know, the best words to use at Scrabble.’”

On her latest fashion choices:

“I like to wear clothes that I will wear when I am an old lady.”

On taking off on her fans:

“I did a run-off. I’ve never done one before, but I was so tired from all the touring, I had to go to bed. I left the stage, put my slippers on and ran through the carpark in my catsuit with my cape flying behind me, screaming, ‘Gooooooooo!’”

So, OK. These bits of interview weren’t nearly as bad as I thought they might be—or at least had the potential to be, especially talking about the Queen and what not—but I’m going to reserve my judgement entirely until we get the rest of the interview. In the meantime, check out the pictures of the ethereal Florence in the gallery.