Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Courtney Stodden

Best And Worst Celebrity Looks Of The Week

Dear Jennifer Hudson, this is awful. Sorry. Sincerely, me.

Dear Jennifer Hudson, this is awful. Sorry. Sincerely, me.

Time for the Best And Worst Celebrity Looks Of The Week. We’re covering late July and very early August. In case you didn’t know. And now you do. And learning is fun. Obviously, Courtney Stodden’s lettuce bikini is included in here.

BEST: Dita Von Teese

WORST: Bachelor Sean Lowe

WTF?!?: Click to find out! (It’s a doozy.)

courtney stodden lettuce bikini peta

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Courtney Stodden Leafs Nothing To The Imagination In A Lettuce Bikini

courtney stodden lettuce bikini peta

Okay, first off, yes, I made a terrible pun. I’m writing about Courtney Stodden. Those things are bound to happen.

Courtney Stodden is a spokesperson for PETA now. Good one, PETA. You found one of the few celebs left who doesn’t realize you are totally insane. Well done.

Ms. Stodden was at Pink’s hot dogs in Hollywood serving up veggie dogs with, of course, Some Dude From Lost. And everyone pretended that none of this was at all weird.

courtney stodden doug hutchison peta

Yup. Nothing weird here.

Look at those SHOES. Holy co–I mean, veggie. But I guess what else would one pair with a lettuce bikini?

More pics below. Some of them are just awful, such as the ones where she’s shoving a veggie dog into her 50-something husband’s mouth.

Courtney Stodden And Her Boobs Spent A Lovely Night Out In Beverly Hills

courtney stodden beverly hills breast implants

Courtney Stodden and her new boob shelf spent a lovely evening out in Beverly Hills last night. Of course her guardian husband, Some Dude From Lost, was faithfully and giddily by her side. Mr. Dude From Lost also made sure to flip off a paparazzo that you know they hired to be there.

Why do I write about Courtney Stodden, Modern Day Grace Kelly, so much? Why do I love her? I love her and write about her because she’s simple. She tries, really hard, without resorting to calling people ugly. She does her own weird Courtney Stodden thing, and doesn’t pretend she’s anything more than her image, unlike a certain Kardashian. I am fascinated by her.

So, please. Enjoy these photos. Be in the arms of this angel. May you find some comfort here.

Helen Mirren Stole Courtney Stodden’s Shoes

helen mirren stripper heels

Helen Mirren, oh man, don’t even get me started on that trollop. I am so sick of her slutty red carpet outfits. You guys won’t even BELIEVE what she wore this time. That’s right. Look at those platform heels. Guys…she went full Stodden. Here’s a close-up:

helen mirren stripper heels

I understand why all women of all ages in all of Hollywood would want to embrace the look of Courtney Stodden; she is, after all, our modern day Grace Kelly. And beyond. Elton John is going to re-write “Candle In The Wind” so hard for her.

courtney stodden stripper heels

So you listen up, Little Miz Mirren. You return those shoes EXACTLY as you borrowed them, and I mean EXACTLY. I want to see some spray tan residue on the inside of those thick clear straps. And when you return them, and she says, “It was an honor, your majesty”, try not to roll your eyes even though I know you’ve explained to her at least 10 times now that you’re not actually the Queen. Let her believe, Ms. Mirren. Let her believe.

Best And Worst Celebrity Looks Of The Week — 1st Week of July

courtney stodden fishnet dress

Courtney Stodden at a birthday party, July 6. Because of course.

Happy July! Happy summer! Happy weekend! Let’s celebrate by looking at photos of celebs’ best and worst looks of this week and praising them or making fun of them. What joy for everyone!

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Presenting A Pre-Plastic Courtney Stodden

courtney stodden before plastic surgery

Courtney Stodden wasn’t born looking like pure poetry. Nay. At one point, she was but mere mortal. The sight is alarming. A plastic surgery and heavy make-up free Stodden kind of looked like Ke$ha.

E Online was gracious enough to share these photos with us. As you look through them, I recommend listening to this.

ABSOLUTELY SHOCKING: Courtney Stodden Got Breast Implants!!

courtney stodden DD implants

My monocole just fell into the china teacup I was holding and I let out a gasp that was heard all the way from Los Feliz to West Hollywood when I heard the shocking news that Courtney Stodden got breast implants over the weekend. I don’t think any of us saw this coming. How could we? Why would we think that a 29 18-year living Barbie would shy away from cosmetic producers? Actually on a less sarcastic note, she did just say in an interview with E Online,

I absolutely love my body and everything about it.

You lied to us, Courtney.

david tenant cry gif

Ms. Stodden is at least very open about her surgery. Way, way too open. She shared photos of her before, after, and during the surgery. My favorite photos are the ones of her leaving the hospital, Some Dude From Lost at her side, she in a breathtaking Victoria’s Secret Pink tracksuit, hoodie unzipped, so we can see her new breasts gently cradled in a godawful beige strapless lace boob shelf. Why am I even describing this when you can see all this raw human emotion for yourself?

courtney stodden after breast implant surgery

The Daily Mail provided us with these timeless photos and also let us know that, “Courtney opted for a DD-cup size saline implant, boosting her already large breasts.” I’m including all the photos, but not the video, because even I have my limits. There’s one photo in there where she actually looks like a teenager. See if you can spot it.