Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Bristol Palin

Are You Going to Read Bristol Palin’s Memoir?

Sarah linked y’all to a story earlier today saying that Bristol Palin is planning on releasing a memoir in June of this year, but I want to know if you think she has a story to tell.

On one hand, a 20-year old single mother from a political family that’s starred on a televised dancing competition does sound like someone with an interesting story. Of course people out there want to know what it was like to be a pregnant teenager with a mother running for Vice President of the United States. But then on the other hand, no ghostwriter on the planet could undo how totally dumb the Palin clan is. And with Bristol being as young as she is, is it possible that she could offer some perspective on her situation in any sort of meaningful way? Typically people hold out on writing memoirs until their life has played out a bit more. She’s got a long life of raising that kid ahead of her before we can call her parenting a success.

I will probably pick up a copy of this book because I devour celebrity memoirs and relish in how fantastically stupid and/or poorly written they can be. Will you do the same or just pick up a copy of Snooki’s book

OMFG!!! Bristol Palin Did Something Respectable!

Bristol Palin has done a great job getting on everyone’s nerves this year, but finally she’s done something worth praising. The single mom and former Governor’s daughter has purchased her first home, a cute little brown stucco in Arizona.

Bristol paid $172,000 for the abode, which just a couple years ago sold to it’s previous owner for nearly twice that. Good deal! And don’t worry about her losing it, because homegirl paid in cash. Baller! I was unaware that motherhood and televised dancing paid that well.

Here’s the other good news: Apparently Bristol liked the idea of moving to Arizona because she wants to attend their state university and study broadcasting. Just hearing that Bristol plans to get her degree despite (or perhaps because of) her single mom-status warms my angry little heart. What wonderful news for the future of both her and her son. Let’s hope it’s true.

Anyone wondering if the Arizona lovin’ McCains had anything to do with this?

Quotables: Bristol Palin – Passive Aggressive?

A photo of Bristol Palin

“I have to be happy for Levi’s new relationship because it sounds like his new girlfriend is influencing him to want to actually spend time with Tripp. I sincerely appreciate her influence because [Levi] hasn’t asked to see Tripp in over five months, so I’m happy for this new development!”

- Bristol on ex-boyfriend Levi’s new lady.

By the way, the question in the title of this post was silly, of course she’s passive aggressive.  This little statement is almost as bad as the one I heard when my college roommate’s boyfriend tried to break up with her in our room (I was initially asleep, but I woke up thanks to the sobs and the conversation that lasted two hours) and she responded with “I asked God about us, and he said that we were going to be together forever.  Don’t you make God a liar.”  But I guess we can’t blame Bristol too much.  The delusional apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Quotables: Bristol Palin Fires Back at Margaret Cho By Making Lesbian Jokes

photo of bristol palin and margaret cho dancing with the stars pictures

“If you understood that commonsense conservative values supports the right of individuals like you, like all of us, to live our lives with less government interference and more independence, you would embrace us faster than KD Lang at an Indigo Girls concert.”

Remember those pesky rumors going ’round about how Sarah Palin pushed her daughter Bristol into competing on Dancing With the Stars? A valiant effort to repair the damage the teen mom had done by getting knocked up during Sarah’s run for Vice Presidency? OK.  Well this is directly from the horse’s mouth – this is Bristol refuting co-star Margaret Cho’s claim that she is Sarah’s little publicity pawn, while throwing a couple of lesbian-themed remarks at the end of her diatribe, which you can read in its entirety here, for good measure.

Let it be said that I’m SO not a fan of Bristol or – by virtue – Sarah Palin.  And though I do think that Margaret Cho is borderline obnoxious about a lot of things and generally unfunny, I have to say – come the fuck on. Aiming gay, Indigo Girls jokes at Margaret Cho, a woman who will be eternally more successful than you could ever hope to be, Bristol?  I mean, Margaret might be over the top when it comes to her humor, and a lot of people might be turned off at the visual of the bisexual Margaret getting it on with anyone – male or female – but throwing tacky insults around on a Facebook fan page of all places, please. When your claim to fame has something to do with anything aside from being pushed around by a Mama Grizzly mother and being a teen mom, then you might have a shred of credibility. Until then, shut up. You sound as under-educated as you’d assume a high school drop out would.

Quotables: Margaret Cho Vs. The Palins

A photo of Margaret Cho

“Now I am scared I am going to wake up with a decapitated moose head in my bed.”

- Margaret Cho, beautiful comedian and “Dancing With the Stars” contestant, discussing her fears on the repercussions of speaking ill of the Palins.

This all happened on Margaret’s blog, and to clarify, she only had nice things to say about Bristol.  She says she’s “warm and incredibly supportive,” and that she’s proud of her work on the show.  However, Margaret also says that someone who “really should seriously know the dirt really really” told her that Bristol only did the show after being strong-armed by her mom.  Apparently, Sarah thinks she lost the election because Bristol went and got knocked up and tarnished her image (it wasn’t because of anything she did or like politics or anything), and the plan is to pull a fast one on America by making them fall in love with Bristol and her mediocre dancing skills so that Sarah will win the election in 2012.

I trust Margaret Cho, and I think this course of events could have definitely taken place, but would Sarah Palin’s diabolical plan actually work?  Are there people out there who saw Bristol Palin on “Dancing With the Stars,” thought she was nice, and decided to vote for her mom solely based on that?  Please tell me those people don’t exist.

Quotables: Is Bristol Palin a Liar, Stirring the Pot?

photo of bristol palin and mark ballas pictures dancing with the stars photographs

“I was very disappointed, shocked and hurt to hear that Bristol told a magazine that I don’t like her. It’s a complete and absolute lie what she said. I have no idea where she got that from. I never ever said I don’t like her — nevermind the fact that it’s not true that I don’t like her. The only thing I’ve said about her is that I think she should embrace the show more when she got homesick — which is something I would say to every celebrity who comes on the show and has a low point midseason. I have nothing against Bristol, the Palins, politics, the tea party and whatnot. I respect what she’s done on the show and her place in the final.”

Maksim Chmerkovskiy, dancing partner of Brandy on this season’s Dancing With the Stars, calling Bristol Palin out for making ridiculous crap up simply in order to have something to say.

I’m not gonna say, ‘Like mother, like daughter,’ but …

Some People Really Dislike Bristol Palin

A photo of Bristol Palin

First there was the guy who shot his TV thanks to Bristol, and now this.

Here’s how yesterday went down over at the CBS studio, home of the travesty that is Dancing with the Stars.  The postman came to drop off the day’s mail, including a bit of fan mail for Bristol.  A staff member opened the letter, and do you know what was inside? Why, it’s the one thing that everyone hopes to find in mail from a stranger:  mysterious white powder!

The building was evacuated and the LAPD and the FBI showed up to investigate, and do you know what it was, you guys?  It was just talcum powder!  Some sweet but absent-minded fan probably just wanted to make sure Bristol’s baby didn’t get diaper rash!  Isn’t that just so nice?!

But seriously, I’m sure Bristol is doing terribly on Dancing with the Stars, and I’m sure that’s upsetting some viewers, but there’s a line between “dedicated fan” and “fanatic,” and I think we all know which category “causing an anthrax scare” falls under.