Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Oh, Hey! ABC Made a Sitcom That Doesn’t Look Totally Sucky

I dunno about you guys, but I can barely watch sitcoms on TV today. They’ve either been on so long that they’re mad tired-feeling or they just generally blow. Last night I caught a preview for ABC’s new sitcom Happy Endings (starring Elisha Cuthbert, SNL‘s Casey Wilson and Damon Wayans Jr.) and yo! I might actually watch this shit! The preview made me laugh out loud at least twice (“white girl on vacation” braids are something I’m really into,) and the cast seems great. I’m getting almost a “modern version of Friends” vibe here.

Could this show be the next big thing? Are there any other mid-season shows coming out that you’re looking forward to seeing? What about shows you’re just totally done with? Let’s talk TV!

The Teenage Dream Lives a ‘Plastic Dream’

Katy Perry is a babe. There, I said it. Her music sucks, her mom creeps me out and her unbreakable ties to her super conservative religious beliefs creep me out even more, but the girl’s attractive, okay?

What’s bringing on this confession? Katie’s new spread in Plastic Dreams, which shows a more artistic and avant-garde side to the typically typical singer. Like Lindsay, Katy may be better off in photos than she is anywhere else. More of this, girl! More of this!

Shockingly, Lifetime Has Made a Movie That I Don’t Want to See

I will watch just about anything that airs on Lifetime with the fervor and excitement of a 12-year old girl at a Justin Bieber concert… The Client List, The Craigslist Killer, and most recently, that Amanda Knox joint. But they’ve finally done it. They’ve finally made a movie that you probably couldn’t pay me to watch (although if you are interested in paying me to watch it, please feel free to send along an email to my personal adress.)

William & Kate is about (what else?) the love affair leading up to the royal wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton. I don’t know how many times I have to say this, but we’re no longer living in the 80s. Trying to make Americans get excited over a royal wedding seems pointless if we’re not focusing on the late Princess Diana. In fact, I feel like everyone trying to make the “fetch” that is this union happen are being kind of disrespectful of Diana’s memory.

Do William & Kate do it for you as a couple (and now, as a movie?) Will you tune in when the movie airs, or skip over it?

Love It Or Leave It: Bruno Mars is a Hat Wearin’ Fool

Bruno Mars modeled a variety of hats in the newest issue of GQ, and ladies, I gotta ask: Am I the only chick out there that dry heaves upon seeing a grown man in a hat? It’d be one thing if we were living in the 20s or if most of these hats were accompanied by zoot suits and they were going for that whole overall look, but a fedora thrown on with a flannel and some jeans? Spare me please.

I dunno, maybe some women dig this style… Are any of you out there? And you can you please remove any guys you find like this from my eye line and take them wherever you take dudes? Thank you.

Oh, God. Marisa Tomei May Play Lady Gaga in a Movie

Lady Gaga recently said that if Hollywood made a movie about her life, she’d like actress Marisa Tomei to play her. Pssh! Fat chance, right?! The beautiful and talented Marisa Tomei depicting the rough and wild Lady Gaga? Not in a million years, right?

Wrong.

Marisa made an appearance on The View recently and said that she’s be pumped to play the dirty pop star on the big screen. She said, “I was thrilled when I heard. I love her. I love her music. And she’s a smart businesswoman. So I was so touched, really. I think it’s incredible that she likes my work and that she’d think of me in that way. I thought it was great.”

A smart businesswoman, maybe, but as for the rest of it? Her music sucks and her story is a pretty common in the Hollywood crowd. No one needs to see a movie about some girl named Stephanie buying some wigs.

You can do better, Marisa!

Lindsay Lohan May Suck It Up and Go Back to The Slammer

Sources close to Lindsay Lohan say the actress is finally realizing that leaving her fate in the hands of a jury may not be the best idea, and is considering the three-month plea deal she was offered, knowing that she would probably only serve 19 days of that sentence.

When originally offered the plea deal, Lindsay turned up her nose at it saying that she wasn’t going to cop to anything she didn’t do and would go to trial if she had to. Of course you can only imagine what kind of sentence Lindsay would get if her case was turned over to 12 random California residents.

My advice? Take the deal, Lindsay. 19 more days in jail is nothing compared to the drawn out drama of a trail. You can spend those 19 days reading scripts and picking a project to work on when you’re out of there. If you’re subjected to what could be a trial that takes weeks or months or years, you’ll be dragging around this drama with you for another half of a decade. Move on from this and in the future, don’t take any more free gifts. Earn everything yourself like a normal human being, it’ll be good for ya.

Britney Spears Hired a Math Tutor

Britney Spears still hasn’t regained control of her estate after losing it back in the late ’00s after suffering what was essentially a mental breakdown, but she’s now making an attempt.

According to PoorBritney.com (aw,) the popstar has hired a professor from UCLA to teach her some money management basics:

She has employed a tutor from the Anderson School of Management at the University of California in LA.

‘Britney is moving towards getting control of her life,’ says a mole.

She wants to win control of her finances. The tutor will help with basic skills – like balancing personal accounts and time management. She wants to learn some basic money management skills to run her personal checking and better manage her budget.

That’s a serious step in the right direction for Britney, whose spending was out of control in the months leading up to her conservatorship, and probably exactly what she’ll need to do to convince the judge she’s taking her recovery and responsibilities seriously.

Actually, I think BritBrit would benefit from a bunch of schooling and would probably have a lot of fun with it. Maybe some knowledge is exactly what she needs to figure out who she is again.