Today's Evil Beet Gossip

British man spends $150,000 to look like Kim Kardashian

kim kardashian

I suppose I owe you all an apology, as I know you’re going to have this image burned into your retinas for all eternity. This 23-year-old old British man, whose name is Jordan James Parke, apparently spent upwards of $150,000 to look more like Kim Kardashian. The resemblance is uncanny, don’t you think?

“I love everything about Kim,” he told The Sun. “She’s the most gorgeous woman ever. Her skin is perfect, her hair, everything about her.”

Apparently he’s had “lip and cheek fillers, laser hair removal, Botox, eyebrow tattoos and veneers”. God help us all. This is such a sad state of affairs on so many levels. I hope this guy spends his next $150k on some professional mental health counseling.

Also, shame on plastic surgeons who are so money hungry and unprofessional that they willingly cater to people like this, who are clearly not mentally stable. This goes above and beyond helping someone feel more confident. This is just ridiculous.


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Want to spend New Year’s Eve with Jennifer Lopez?

jennifer lopez

If your answer is “Hell yes!”, then today is your lucky day. I mean, you won’t actually get to spend New Year’s Eve with Jennifer Lopez in any real, meaningful way, but you can at least watch her televised concert special, Dance Again, which will air on HBO on the night of December 31st. Talk about exciting!

The special follows Jennifer on tour, of course, and shows plenty of live concert footage, but it also promises to cover the “dizzying heights and the lo’s” (nevermind the fact that it’s completely incorrect grammar – get it? Lo’s?) of her behind-the-scenes life. Sounds… boring. But okay!

Here’s the trailer for Dance Again, just for you:

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Taylor Swift is a “rule breaker”, apparently

taylor swift hollywood reporter

Taylor Swift, we can logically say, has had a damn good year. Her latest album, 1989, has turned even the most ardent haters into reluctant… well, toleraters, at the very least. It’s a great album, and Taylor Swift makes a great pop star and those two things combined have made her star soar pretty much out of sight. With that in mind, it’s no surprise that TSwift is on the cover of pretty much every magazine going, including The Hollywood Reporter, which is more traditionally reserved for stars of screen, stage and TV. But you see the headline – Taylor Swift is a “rule breaker”!

I suppose I’m a bit confused by the concept. Which rule(s) has Taylor Swift broken, exactly? She’s an upper-class white girl living the perfect popstar dream, colouring within the lines, playing by all the rules… or so it seems. I can buy her as a lot of things: America’s sweetheart, the darling of pop, a talented, independent woman, a feminist… but a rule breaker? Eh, sorry, no.

I suppose the implication here is that because Taylor decided to do some straight pop – which anyone who ever listened to Red would have seen coming anyway – she broke the rules of country music. Uh, I guess? Here’s her explanation:

“The biggest challenge this year actually was convincing members of my own team that this was a good call. I’d get called in front of a group of people who have known me and worked with me for years who’d say, ‘Are you sure that you want call the album 1989? We think it’s a weird title. Are you sure you want to put an album cover out that has less than half of your face on it? Are you positive that you want to take a genre that you’ve cemented yourself in and completely switch to a new one that you are a newcomer to?’”

Pretty small potatoes to fry when you’re already on top of the world, to be honest, so I’m not all that moved by this. Who knows, maybe it was a risk? But either way, it looks like one that’s paid off in myriad ways.

Here’s a vid from Taylor’s interview with THR:

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Sharon Osbourne’s tooth fell out on live TV

sharon osbourne

It was just another day on The Talk on Tuesday when all of a sudden, things got REAL and Sharon Osbourne‘s tooth fell off mid-broadcast. Oops!

Sharon said it was an implant that she paid a lot of money for it, so she was pretty mad that the damn thing didn’t stay in her mouth. Also, she was asking her co-hosts if they had any glue and she decided to give everyone a gapped grin because isn’t she just so cheeky? Whatever, slow news day.

Here’s video!

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Stephen Collins admits he’s a child molester

stephen collins

Stephen Collins has been keeping a pretty low profile in recent months, ever since it was revealed that, you know, he’s a habitual child molester that abused underage girls for decades. Now he’s breaking his silence to say, “Oops, sorry about that!” and he swears that he hasn’t done it again since the ’70s. If you believe that, you were probably born yesterday, but let’s read his bullshit statement to People anyway, shall we?

“Forty years ago, I did something terribly wrong that I deeply regret. I have been working to atone for it ever since. I’ve decided to address these issues publicly because two months ago, various news organizations published a recording made by my then-wife, Faye Grant, during a confidential marriage therapy session in January, 2012. This session was recorded without the therapist’s or my knowledge or consent.”

“On the recording, I described events that took place 20, 32, and 40 years ago,” Collins continues. “The publication of the recording has resulted in assumptions and innuendos about what I did that go far beyond what actually occurred. As difficult as this is, I want people to know the truth.”

He also did a sit-down interview with Katie Couric that will be on Friday (gotta make that $$$ somehow) during which he was asked whether he ever apologized to his victims, to which he replied:

“I did have an opportunity to do so with one of the women, 15 years later. I apologized and she was extraordinarily gracious,” said Collins, who remains in a protracted divorce battle with Grant. “But after I learned in the course of my treatment that my being direct about such matters could actually make things worse for them by opening old wounds, I have not approached the other two women, one of whom is now in her 50s and the other in her 30s.”

Uhh… so I love that this dude’s so inconsistent that it starts out with it having been 40 years ago, but then his most recent abuse (at least that he’s admitted to) was actually 20 years ago. I don’t think so, bro. I also love that he clearly thinks putting out this statement is going to somehow clear his name and make him look better because the press “exaggerated” his abuse. So what, he only sorta, vaguely molested these girls? Fuck off.

Yet another one that deserves to rot.

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Justin Timberlake cries when little boy gives him a birthday present onstage

Justin Timberlake In Concert - Brooklyn, NY

Justin Timberlake is going all soft now that wife Jessica Biel is expecting their first child, because he started crying on stage when a 10-year-old fan gave him a birthday gift. The mini fan has apparently loved Justin since he was 2 and he had the chance to present his gift – a bow tie – during Justin’s show at Barclays Center in Brooklyn on the 14th.

Here’s the video, which is actually really adorable!

Ah, kids. Cute when they’re someone else’s, aren’t they?

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The Daily Links

stacey dash

Stacey Dash still looks like she did in 1994 – damn! Too bad she’s crazy now [Celebslam]

What’s going on with Chris Pine‘s hat? Anyone? [Socialite Life]

Charli XCX is wearing white fur balls on her tits [Moe Jackson]

Oh dear, it seems Olivia Wilde had a bit of a vagina slip [Taxi Driver Movie - NSFW]

Oh no! Lindsay Lohan is back in Los Angeles even though she swore she would never go [Lainey Gossip]

Aw, doesn’t pregnant Jessica Biel have a certain glow? [Popoholic]

Kylie Jenner is trying to get in on the family ass action [Drunken Stepfather - NSFW]

LeAnn Rimes is obsessed with her slow cooker and her husband’s ass [Celebitchy]

Oh look, it’s Britney Spears‘ boyfriend speaking publicly about their relationship [Too Fab]

Kim Kardashian thinks Khloe‘s ass is too big and she needs to lose weight [The Blemish]

Here’s some famous families you should follow on Instagram [theBERRY]

Let’s take a look at the world of Pixar’s ‘Inside Out’ [PopBytes]

Somehow, it seems that Paris Hilton is still a DJ [ICYDK]

Bill Cosby‘s daughter thinks rape accusers should go to jail [The Frisky]

Here is your ultimate Christmas playlist. You’re welcome! [Romance Beat]

Amy Adams is going to be amazing on ‘Saturday Night Live’ [Celebuzz]

Would you describe a shirtless Calvin Harris as “sexy”? I wouldn’t! [Socialite Life]

Candice Swanepoel looks so good in a bikini [Celebslam]

Brian Austin Green and Megan Fox are still a happy family [Moe Jackson]

I’m not really sure what Jennifer Lawrence is wearing [Popoholic]

Emma Stone is really working the color of the year already [Lainey Gossip]

We’re all still looking at Rita Ora‘s boobs, and you should too [Taxi Driver Movie - NSFW]

Jennifer Lopez doesn’t think it’s a big deal to be dating younger men [ICYDK]

Prince William thinks Kate Middleton has “nightmare” hair [Celebitchy]

Reese Witherspoon is giving us some serious housewife porn [Drunken Stepfather - NSFW]

Ariana Grande isn’t wearing pants while she waits for Santa [The Blemish]

‘The Walking Dead’ star is walking down the aisle, very much alive [Romance Beat]

Jared Leto wins the man bun competition [theBERRY]

Look how quickly Brangelina‘s kids are growing up! [Too Fab]

The trailer for ‘The Little Prince’ is a thing of beauty [PopBytes]

Here’s a video of Tom Hiddleston singing a Christmas song to a dog [Celebuzz]

Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake made another funny thing [The Frisky]