3WTF Of The Day: Amanda Bynes Says A Cop “Slapped Her Vagina”

AMANDA BYNES, WHERE DOES IT END? Your saga is crazy! And it just doesn’t end. Now Miss Bynes is accusing an officer of “slapping” her vagina. Let’s review: Drake murders Amanda Bynes’ vagina — okay. Cop slaps Amanda Bynes’ vagina — not okay. Here is her tweet on the whole thing (via TMZ):

Don’t believe the reports about me being arrested. It’s all lies. I was sexually harassed by one of the cops the night before last which is who then arrested me. He lied and said I threw a bong out the window when I opened the window for fresh air. Hilarious. He slapped my vagina. Sexual harassment.Big deal. I then called the cops on him. He handcuffed me, which I resisted, quite unlike any of the reports stated. Then I was sent to a mental hospital. Offensive. I kept asking for my lawyer but they wouldn’t let me. The cops were creepy. The cop sexually harassed me, they found no pot on me or bong outside my window. That’s why the judge let me go. Don’t believe any reports.

Shit. Well apparently Bynes’ attorney is taking this seriously and is looking to file a complaint for “inappropriate actions”.

Where the f-ck do I even begin? I’m not saying she wasn’t sexually harassed. What I’m questioning is her explanation for throwing her bong out the window, which is: 1. I was getting fresh air and 2. There was no bong. Come on, Amanda. Although, why did the judge let her go without bail? Any legal peeps want to explain?

Also TMZ says she was spotted wig shopping, but the paparazzi attention was too much so she fled.

What a long strange trip it’s been.

May 25, 2013 at 4:00 pm by Catherine St. Ives

0Michael Douglas On Kissing Matt Damon: “I Forgot It Was Two Guys”

Michael Douglas looks like he is going to be the best damn Liberace ever in HBO’s upcoming film, Behind the Candelabra. Matt Damnon plays his lover in the film, so naturally there’s a lot of kissing. Someone asked dear Mr. Douglas what that was like. Here’s what he said, via Showbiz Spy:

I forgot it was Matt and me after about 10 minutes and then I forgot it was two guys. Both of us are in long-standing marriages, so that makes it easier. It’s like love scenes with a girl. If you’re an actor, you gotta do it. We read the script; we knew what we had to do. The challenge was making it as real as possible. But I would tease Matt about which flavor lip gloss he’d like for me to use!

OH, YOU! I am so excited for this film. I hope my goddamn HBOGo starts working again. F-ck HBO.

Just look at Rob Lowe. Incredible. Such commitment.

May 25, 2013 at 2:00 pm by Catherine St. Ives

2This Blind Item About A Shrinking Actress Should Be Easy

I can’t decide if I love it or hate it when blind items are super easy to guess. Like, hm, which celebrity couple could this be about? Gosh, I wonder! Blind Gossip gives us this item via Downfront 2:

This Oscar Winner may be losing her man because he is not happy with her weight loss.

Now at first this sounds like it could be about pretty much any Oscar winning actress, since it’s so vague and actresses are known to lose weight. Buuut I think it’s most likely about Jennifer Hudson, considering her Weight Watchers deal.

And there’s also this from Showbizspy:

JENNIFER Hudson‘s fiance isn’t happy about her weight loss.

David Otunga misses the curva­ceous beauty he fell for when they met five years ago — and he wants her back!

“Jennifer’s weight has been an issue between them ever since she lost her first big chunk of weight in 2010,” a source said.

“When they met, she was a happy, proud, healthy woman who loved food and embraced every aspect of life with so much enthusiasm.

“Now she takes up to four hours to get ready when they go out, and she gets stressed out every time she puts a morsel of food in her mouth.

“David tells her he thinks she’s beautiful no matter what size she is, but he misses the down-to-earth ‘I don’t care’ Jen.

“Every meal is a pain in the butt, and he’s starting to feel totally sidelined by her obses­sion with her weight.”

Ms. Hudson is also allegedly working on another deal — as a judge on American Idol.

Who’s your guess for this item?

May 25, 2013 at 12:00 pm by Catherine St. Ives

6Kendall Jenner Responds To Angry Beans

Kendall Jenner got slammed on twitter by Courtney Love and Kurt Cobain‘s kid, Frances Bean Cobain a few days and she responded on Facebook. Which is kind of…I mean why not respond on twitter? Angry Beans responded to Ms. Jenner’s stupid tweet “Just wish things could be easier sometimes mann” with two long tweets containing such wise nuggets as “There are kids on earth abandoned&homeless” and blah blah ending with “humans are so self involved.”

From Radar, via DListed:

i am aware that i am very privileged and blessed, and im thankful for that everyday, i know there are greater problems in the world. i pray for those people every night and give back as much as i can. so who are u to judge me?

However, and as DListed pointed out, the Facebook post has been deleted. If it was even there. What really annoys me is that Jenner keeps using “i” and “u” — it’s Facebook, you can spare the characters.

I mean this has to be one of the more boring “celebrity” twitter exchanges ever, right? Even the Jenny McCarthy/Amanda Bynes face-off was more interesting.

May 25, 2013 at 10:30 am by Catherine St. Ives

0Amanda Bynes’ Second Mugshot And Her Delightful Twitter Reaction

Amanda Bynes had a pretty sad/badass mugshot from her latest arrest, but that was sans wig. This is the mugshot that inspired Mz. Bynes to tweet,

I only smoke tobacco I don’t drink or do drugs. I’ve never had a bong in my life! I need to get another nose job after seeing my mugshot! :D

No one is believing that, Amanda. She then followed up with another tweet that made me smile:

I need Nicki Minaj’s wig person stat! :P

So while this whole arrest thing originally made me depressed as hell, now I’m really damn amused and thinking, that’s a pretty good reaction, Amanda. Nicely done. It’s not like she was charged with murder or anything; having weed and throwing a bong out the window is a pretty victimless crime, so I think it’s okay she poked fun at herself. I mean I guess the bong could seriously injure someone on the street below, but that didn’t happen.

I think it’s time to ask the question…

May 25, 2013 at 8:30 am by Catherine St. Ives

0Elisabeth Moss Confirms That Jeremy Piven Sucks On Live TV

Elisabeth Moss (Mad Men‘s Peggy Olsen) gave Jeremy Piven a well-deserved beat-down on Andy Cohen’s Watch What Happens Live on Bravo. Cohen does a segment called “Plead the Fifth” in which guests can pass on 1 out of 3 questions he asks. When asked about Jeremy Piven, Ms. Moss didn’t opt out at all.

Some backstory: do you remember when Jeremy Piven abruptly dropped out his Broadway show because he said he overdosed on mercury from eating too much sushi? It really pissed her off, and she NOT alone. US Weekly has the soundbites:

COHEN: What, besides eating too much sushi, caused Jeremy Piven to quit Speed-the-Plow?

MOSS: That’s a very good one. I could go on and on. Being highly unprofessional. [...] We were all surprised. It came out of nowhere. He just didn’t come back one day. [...] I saw him like a month later at the Golden Globes. When he was supposed to be really sick.

BOOM. Aren’t Broadway actor feuds just the best? Playwright David Mamet, who wrote Speed-the-Plow, snarked, “I talked to Jeremy on the phone and he told me that he discovered that he had a very high level of mercury. So my understanding is that he is leaving show business to pursue a career as a thermometer.” BOOM AGAIN. And if you haven’t heard about the whole Alec Baldwin/Shia LaBeouf mess, read up on it.

May 24, 2013 at 5:30 pm by Catherine St. Ives