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7BREAKING: Chris Brown Is Still A Douchebag

A photo of Chris Brown

I really wanted to put “asshole” up there instead of “douchebag,” because I feel like the two words have different meanings – an asshole is unquestionably not cool, where as an otherwise cool person can have douchey moments, you know? – but I didn’t think our advertisers would appreciate that right up there in the headline, so I went more mild. But just to clarify, I meant “asshole.” Chris Brown is still an asshole.

Here’s why:

There’s a video where he tries to act like a good person, explains that the longest period he’s ever gone without sex since he got famous was three whole weeks, and lets listeners in on how to get those pesky girls who want to cuddle and talk and shit out of your house after you’re done f-cking them. Oh, and stay tuned to the very end where he discusses his awful Halloween costume. You’ll be totally surprised by what he says about it.

No, you won’t. Because you know that Chris Brown is an asshole. That’s what this whole story is about. God.

November 15, 2012 at 6:30 am by Emily
Filed Under: Chris Brown

7 Responses to “BREAKING: Chris Brown Is Still A Douchebag”

  1. Chaz says:

    Always will be a Douchebag….. Once a guy joins the Smackahoe tribe, he will always be a member of the Smackahoe tribe

  2. Anonymous says:

    Let the man live sheesh.

  3. Grace says:

    The sad thing about this is that even though countless women have been warned about him, one day some girl is going to get OJ’ed by Chris and then, only then, will people admit that they should not have been encouraging his crap.

  4. crab says:

    Emily I’m sure your advertisers wouldn’t mind if you captioned this headline as “Chris Brown is Still an Asshole” and I wouldn’t mind either! :)

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