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17Mila Kunis is Probably Going to Have Ashton Kutcher’s Baby

photo of ashton kutcher and mila kunis baby bump pictures
Oh hey, look! Something interesting that involves both Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher! And it would appear that Mila Kunis is sporting a pretty serious baby bump, huh? Yeah, she tends to carry most of any weight gain in her midsection (see that movie that she had to “fatten up” for or whatever), but this is just … well I think it’s unmistakable to call it an early baby bump. And if that’s the case? Wow, man. Talk about throwing a bombshell right in the face of poor Demi Moore. Disastrous, really.

Oh, and speaking of disaster? Seriously, I’m writing this post on Sunday night, because for now, I still have both electric and internet, which is a lot more than what some other people in the general region have right now, even though I probably shouldn’t. In case you didn’t hear, the east coast is being battered by Hurricane Sandy, and oh yeah, the latest news says she might be making landfall a block over from me sometime between this afternoon and Tuesday morning. Super, huh? Who knows. Maybe it’s karma. Maybe I should have been a little nicer to all of these celebrities, huh?

Any intermittent posting is a direct result of Sandy, so you can blame that lousy, stinking, sucking whore for f-cking up the whole mess.

Good luck and God speed to those in the path of this bitch—I don’t know what’s scarier at this point; the fact that Ashton Kutcher might be a father soon, or the hurricane itself.

October 29, 2012 at 4:30 am by Sarah

17 Responses to “Mila Kunis is Probably Going to Have Ashton Kutcher’s Baby”

  1. Harriet Meadow says:

    Stay safe, Sarah!

  2. CranAppleSnapple says:

    Best wishes, Sarah! Do you need to tape up your windows and so forth? Hope your power holds. Check back in so we know you’re okay.

    • Sarah says:

      Thanks guys! I didn’t bother with taping the windows—we’ve got about forty of them and our property is an acre with at least a dozen hundred-year-old oak trees, so if it’s going to happen, it’s going to happen on a grand scale, haha.

  3. St. Louis Chick says:

    Take care of yourself and stay safe. All we can do out here in the Midwest is pray and donate to the charities (for humans and for their pets!) that come in to get everyone up & running again. “Stuff” can be replaced. You cannot. We will await updates from you about your well being whenever you can.

    • Sarah says:

      Thank you so, so much. That means a lot! Things are really starting to pick up, and there’s lots of flooding in the area, but despite the fact that we’re three miles from the beach (and about a half-mile from the bay), we’re alright so far. I just cannot wait for tomorrow afternoon to be here, ha.

  4. Liz says:

    Why on earth would she have a baby with
    him? She’s an idiot.

  5. Grace says:

    Stay safe Sarah. Mila is a moron. She’ll never be able to be seen as anything other than “Kelso’s mistake” ever again. Ugh.
    The hurricane is bad but Tom Cruises (allegedly)4-inch unit, Mila’s body, and that look ok Ashton’s face I need brain bleach for. I cannot unsee this now.

  6. livwho says:

    Wow, this is a terrible picture.

  7. mireee says:

    Stay safe Sarah! xxxx

  8. Mila says:

    For someone who claims to be so pro-positive-body-image, you really are a cunt. How would you feel if everyone thought YOU were pregnant when you werent?

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