Okay, who here knew that Ashton Kutcher has a twin brother? They’re completely fraternal and look nothing alike (as you’ll see below), but Michael, the lesser known Kutcher, gave an interview to US Weekly recently in which he gushed about his impending unclehood, his future sister-in-law and how Ashton and Mila Kunis are totally meant to be and are like Ross and Rachel (from Friends, obviously) – they just took a 14 year break.
“My sister and Ashton are both expecting—it’s so exciting for the whole family!” Michael told Us. “Ashton and Mila are so excited to be parents.” The rest of the Kutcher clan is pretty thrilled, too. “I have a 9-year-old myself, and a 4-year-old, and there’s a 16-year-old in the family,” he said. “We’re so excited to expand the cousins of the new generation.”
So will the whole family be at the Two and a Half Men actor’s wedding to Kunis, 30? “I don’t really know. Obviously we have to hold some of that stuff close to the vest, but it’s going to be amazing,” Michael told Us. “I mean, I love Mila.”
“Those two reunited after 14 years, and I think they were meant to be,” he continued of the pair, who first met as costars on the sitcom That ’70s Show. “It’d be like Ross and Rachel getting married [from Friends], like David Schwimmer and Jennifer Aniston getting married!” he quipped.
“They make such a great couple,” he added of his brother and his brother’s fiancee. “I’m so happy for them, I really am. Ashton is in a really great place right now.”
Aw, that’s sweet. They’re definitely nothing like Ross and Rachel (how dare you slander their names!) but I do think they strangely kinda work together, and I dig Mila and feel like she’s a pretty logical person, so I’m guessing Ashton isn’t as big of a tool as he is sometimes portrayed (or portrays himself).
Here’s Michael and who I think is his new wife. For the record, Michael was born with cerebral palsy and has done a lot of campaigning for the cause (this photo was taken at an event for it):
June 25, 2014 at 12:00 pm by Jennifer
Mila Kunis seems pretty chill – I’ve always liked how she’s come across in interviews and while I don’t think she has the most impressive acting resumé, I’m probably just not the target audience for her projects, and that’s cool. Anyhow, she’s been keeping an extra low profile now that she’s pregnant with Ashton Kutcher‘s kid, so it’s nice to see her giving an interview and putting dudes in their places.
That’s right, Mila is sick of men saying “We’re pregnant!” when telling others that they and their partners are expecting a baby. Turns out, you don’t get to say that shit since you’re not the one carrying the baby and growing it inside your body for nine months.
As Mila so eloquently put it on Jimmy Kimmel Live, “Do you have to squeeze a watermelon-sized person out of your lady hole? No.”
Obviously this was done for comedic effect, but I’m sure there is a bit of serious annoyance in there somewhere… especially when you’re swollen and uncomfortable and making a person. Never having had a baby (and never planning to), I can’t say for sure – what do you think, moms of Evil Beet?
June 12, 2014 at 11:00 am by Jennifer
Ashton Kutcher is going to be a father soon, so it’s comforting to hear that he seems like a genuinely good guy who’s always willing (though perhaps not particularly able) to help those in need. You see, Ashton helped a motorist whose battery needed a jump in the Hollywood Hills this weekend… though not without a bit of trouble first.
The driver tells us … his car battery died while he and his group were hiking in the Hollywood Hills … so they pushed the whip to a nearby street and tried flagging down anyone who would stop.
Ashton was driving down the street when he spotted the group … pulled over and was asked if he could help jump start their car. Problem was — he had a passenger and said he had to drop her off at home but he would return. The group thinks the passenger was Mila Kunis.
Shockingly … Kutcher came back and got down to work, trying to jump start the battery. But first things first … he opened his hood and had big trouble finding his own battery … because it’s in the trunk! Ashton eventually accomplished his mission.
All’s well that ends well, I suppose.
May 26, 2014 at 10:00 am by Jennifer
Ashton Kutcher has wasted no time moving on from Demi Moore after their divorce, and he’s now engaged and expecting a baby with Mila Kunis. While Demi has sorta kinda moved on with different dudes, apparently she’s still smarting from her relationship with Ashton and will be meditating the pain away when he decides to tie the knot.
From Radar Online:
“Demi knows she’ll have to endure hearing about the affair — which Ashton is telling mutual friends will be huge and full of A-list Hollywood and tech friends — and seeing pictures. But the wound is still fresh from their divorce and Demi doesn’t want anything to trigger a relapse.”
Moore is banking on details from her daughter Rumer Willis, who remains close with Kutcher.
“When she gets word, either through mutual friends or Rumer, about the exact date, she’s booking a trip to the yogic spiritual center of India, Rishikesh, where she’ll submerge herself in days of waking at 4 a.m., chanting, meditation, yoga by the Ganges River, light eating of only meager portions of vegan foods and dressing in saffron colored robes,” the source revealed.
“She’ll be cut off from all technology including phones, Internet and TV, so she’ll be able to avoid the whole thing.”
And her getaway isn’t just reserved for the wedding. “She plans a similar, though less intense and far away retreat to coincide with the birth of their child in October,” the source added.
Kinda fucked up that Demi is the one who comes out of this whole thing being painted like some sad sack who can’t get her shit together because ASHTON KUTCHER, the guy who hosted Punk’d, is not her husband anymore. I mean, I’m sure he’s different privately than he is as a public persona, and the heart wants what it wants and all that, but come on.
I’m on Team Demi here, and if she wants to do whip its and lose her damn mind, leave her to it!
April 21, 2014 at 10:00 am by Jennifer
After hearing the sad, sad news that Mila Kunis is actually carrying Ashton Kutcher‘s baby, it’s only natural that we start scrutinizing her body for any sign of such awful Hollywood things like fat ankles, bloating in the face and of course, a larger stomach.
That’s right, baby bump watch is in FULL SWING, and Mila Kunis is starting to show! You can see in the above photo, taken while she was “out shopping in Beverly Hills” (according to US Weekly), that she is indeed with child. Or maybe she just ate a really good burrito at Chipotle. Nah, that’s a baby.
Can’t wait to see the multi-page pregnancy spreads and the stories about how much fatherhood changes Ashton, ‘cos you know they’re coming.
Oh, and if you want some “inside” scoop (“shit made up by an intern”), here you go:
“They are happy, healthy, and excited to start a family,” an insider told Us Weekly of Kunis, 30, and Kutcher, 36. The Black Swan actress, in particular, “is all about being a mother,” the insider added.
LOL, okay. I would hope she’s all about being a mother, given the fact that SHE’S GOING TO BE ONE.
March 27, 2014 at 9:30 am by Jennifer
From US Weekly:
“This is something they both wanted,” one insider tells Us. “They are both so happy.”
Another source says Kutcher is “very happy” with the news of his fiancee’s pregnancy, although he still remains resolutely private about his personal life. “Ashton has been very private and cut off more than he usually is,” the insider tells Us. But, the Two and a Half Men star has been chatting with a longtime pal who is newly-familiar with fatherhood.
Dear God, think about this: Ashton Kutcher is going to be someone’s father. The Punk’d guy. A baby. Let your mind wrap itself around that.
I guess this is all very exciting for the two of them, though, so, uh, congrats to the happy couple?