Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Everyone’s Favorite Twihard Reacts to Kristen Stewart’s Cheating Scandal

Look, everyone, I know it’s been a really rough day. I know we’re all feeling down because Kristen Stewart cheated on the guy she “loves and respects the most,” and I know that nothing I can say right now can heal all that pain in your heart. I can’t make that go away … but this crazy ass Twihard can.

LOL, you guys! LOL! BUT NO, IT’S NOT FUNNY, THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS. Just kidding, I’m still laughing. I love how this whole thing is no one’s business and we just need to leave them alone because it’s private but how could you cheat on Robert Pattinson? But really, you wouldn’t ask some random person on the street about their bowel movements, so why would you ever say anything about a person whose chosen career involves living in the public eye? How would you feel if a bunch of strangers were talking about your sex life? Probably the exact same way that Kristen Stewart feels after people started discussing a public statement that she chose to make: bad. Real bad.

And you know, I’ll admit that I was a little surprised when I read Kristen’s statement and saw the pictures. I really thought that she would never acknowledge any of this, or if she did, it wouldn’t be for a long time. And I did yell at my (super lucky) boyfriend “IT WAS TRUE, KRISTEN STEWART DID CHEAT ON ROBERT PATTINSON,” because I was that shocked. But I didn’t cry like this crazy girl does. I cried earlier today because this sweet Sofia Vergara dress at the K-Mart didn’t fit me right, but I didn’t cry over this, because I’m not ridiculous.

Never change, Twihards. Never change.

10 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Wow, Im at a loss for words. This is borderline psychotic. I have one question though…. Was it the fact she was so close to the camera, or is she the missing link? Homegirl has a serious case of protruding brow!

  • I love Crazy Madame. She’s everything an obsessed fan should be. I bet Rob P. doesn’t feel as upset as she does.

    • Wow.

      Interesting to note though, with pathologically obsessed fans actually SEE themselves in intense hallucinations performing imagined acts with their surrogates.

      This crazy, uh, woman actually SEES (as in vivid hallucinations) herself AS Kristen’s character IN Twilight. So, as Kristen (whoever she was in Twilight) cheated on whatever (god, I’m bored) vampire character, so she had to see HERSELF (as Kristen as uh, Bella?) robo-cheating on the ol’ robster (as the vampire guy).

      Does that level of crazy not creep you the hell out?

      How come, with all the crap stuff she, uh, stuffed in there do I keep thinking about psychosexual development? (That’d be Freudian. Old and broken, but applicable and funny.)

      I’m actually starting to feel sorry for Rob and Kristen. What level of money = level of suck where crazy ass-clowns follow you everywhere and muck up everything you do?

      To what level of suck does your life have to descend where your entire self-worth and identity is subsumed in a FICTIONAL character and the misidentification of that actor(tress)?

      I guess I have my example. *looks at video and shudders*

  • I couldn’t watch this all the way through. I was that upset. I kept thinking, ‘OH. MY. GOD. She’s going to kill Stewart, eat her and wear the skin as a Bella suit…it’s the only way Robsten can survive’.
    I can’t stand twilight. Or twihards. I especially cannot stand Kristen Stewart and her ‘edgy’ ‘ballsy’ girl power routine. Yes, Kristen Stewart is young, but her attitude would be tiresome on a 14 year old at a skate park, much less a woman who wants to be treated as a Nietzsche reading, anti-starlet existentialist. Last I checked, ‘girl power’ did not include fucking another woman’s husband. Or sleeping with your boss (or director)…because that sounds a lot like what silly vapid starlets do.
    So, even though Kristen Stewart seems like a total douche bag, I do still worry that this chick is going to skin her and show up in Robert Pattenson’s bedroom for a glittery ‘make up’ lay. That’s why I can’t watch this clip.

  • Oh God, this is brilliant. I love how she starts yelling to “fucking leave them alone.” and then posts a five minute video crying and simply unable to follow her own advice.

  • wow. shes into it, huh? i love how she talks about the whole deal like she, herself, is set apart from the rest of the world. like she knows them. shes got some major issues going on. THERAPY my dear child, THERAPY!!!!!!!!!