This news came out late last week, and I didn’t get a chance to cover it, but I think it’s really interesting and I’d like to discuss it, so just suck it up if you’ve heard it already, all right? If you haven’t heard it already, here’s the deal: there’s this rumor that Katie Holmes doesn’t even like her daughter’s name, so she wants to change it now that she’s out of Tom‘s grip. Weird, right?
It turns out that Katie never liked Suri’s name (which, by the way, is Persian and means “red rose,” according to the first few baby name sites I looked at. There’s also a rumor that the name is Hebrew in origin and that it means “princess,” but a lot of people think that’s total bullshit). She’s calling her Scout for now, which I think is adorable, and she also wants to make Cruise her middle name and change her last name to Holmes. So potentially this little girl that Katie carries around all the time could be known as Scout Cruise Holmes at some point in the future. Ok.
I had this friend in middle school, and she got pregnant in the 7th grade. For real, the 7th grade, how insane is that? But she had a daughter and she named her Jasmine, but about a month after she was born my friend decided that she liked Autumn better, and she had her name changed. I thought that was strange at the time, but this is a whole lot stranger. There’s a difference between changing your one-month-old baby’s name and changing your six-year-old’s name, you know? One can’t even hold her head up, and the other, you know, has had her name for six years. The rumor might be true, but I doubt it will stick. I mean, this is Suri Cruise. She’s always going to be Suri Cruise.
Speaking of little Scout Holmes (see? I don’t think it’ll work), guess who’s going to Catholic school this fall! She’ll be going to the same school that Lady Gaga attended, the Covenant of the Sacred Heart in Manhattan, where tuition is $38,000 a year and nothing else about the school matters because tuition is $38,000 a year. That will be an interesting adventure, won’t it? I’m not way familiar with Catholicism, but I bet nuns wouldn’t take too kindly to penis candy.
Lastly, Katie Holmes is a terrible actress. I know that’s not exactly breaking news, but I’ve been watching Dawson’s Creek lately, and her acting is so awful that it’s turned back around to amazing. Seriously, take a moment out of your day to watch some clips on YouTube. Girl is a hot damn mess in a midriff top and high waisted jeans.