Today's Evil Beet Gossip

James Franco Has A Big Ol’ Crush on Kristen Stewart

A photo of James Franco

We haven’t talked about James Franco since last year, can you believe it? When we last heard of him, he’d gotten a professor fired for giving him a bad grade, but what is he up to these days? He’s probably smoking weed, and he’s definitely starting to look like the creepy guy who hit on me in the cat section of the bookstore last week. But most importantly, he’s crushing on Kristen Stewart.

See, James went to see Snow White and the Huntsman with his makeup artist, Nana, and Iris, his “Mexican producing associate.” The movie made him feel a lot of feelings, so he wrote a blog about them for the Huffington Post. If you want to read the whole thing, here’s the link, but I’m just going to show you the parts where he’s popping an intellectual boner for Kristen, all right?

Here’s the first one:

Some critics might go after the actors for being flat — Nana said it seemed like Hemsworth was playing Thor in different clothes, and Iris, who worked on the first two Twilight films, praised Stewart but was still reminded of Bella Swan. We discussed, and Iris and Nana came around. They blamed the actors less — I mean, the actors are going to look like themselves from movie to movie; it’s not like they’re character actors — and started to look at the material they’d been given to work with. If Stewart and Hemsworth don’t entirely pull off the romance of the year, it’s the fault not of their acting as much as the script’s structure. And if their previous incarnations are trailing them, that has less to do with their performances than with the overwhelmingly large place their previous roles occupy in our present culture. Whether they heed it or not, those two are under a ton of pressure: Is Chris just an unusually rugged man with a deep voice, or can he play anything other than a Norse god? Is Kristen just a pouty Vampire lover riding a temporary wave of pop culture madness, or is she the real deal? I believe that they are both talented and special performers who make the most of their material in this film.

He actually called Kristen Stewart a “talented and special performer.”  I’m sorry, but no.

So, the conflict is ultimately between two females who represent innocent youth (Stewart) and aging beauty (Theron), each of whom is fighting to control the throne. Sadly, this can be seen as an analog to the dynamics faced by actresses (and, to an extent, actors) today. The old guard will always be wary of the new guard, but the fact is that women in entertainment still depend on their looks more than men do. Even two powerhouses like Theron and Stewart are beholden to the dictates of a man’s world.

I see what James is saying here, and I agree with it, but “two powerhouses like Theron and Stewart,” really?  Even if you believe Kristen Stewart is a good actress, I can’t believe that anyone would consider her a powerhouse, much less a powerhouse on the same level as Charlize Theron.

Some could say she had a lucky break when she was cast in Twilight and then rose to international stardom based less on her own skills than on the success of the project. But, whereas Snow White would more than likely be inarticulate, diseased and frail after being confined in a tower for 10 years, Kristen Stewart landed Twilight after years of working with some of the best directors in the business (David Fincher, Sean Penn). She actually does deserve the crown.

I know that Kristen Stewart did a lot of work before Twilight, but James is actually claiming that she’s such a huge star now because of her acting and not because of the movie she acted in.  There is no way that he actually believes that.

Stewart has braved more scrutiny of her private life than most presidents. She has taken big career risks by doing films like Welcome to the RileysThe Runaways and On the Road (nudity, I hear). She has worked her ass off. Whatever Snow White may be, Kristen is a warrior queen. Give her the crown.

Can we please see James Franco and Robert Pattinson get into a brawl over Kristen Stewart now?

5 CommentsLeave a comment

  • He got accepted into a PhD program at Yale with that writing? It reads like a sample of lower-division undergraduate writing in both its syntax and quality of ideas.

  • Holy hell, what a bunch of pedantic, poorly worded drivel. I can’t say this holds a candle to undergraduate standards, either. Way to figure out the archetypes of Hollywood and Fairy Tales, dude, you get a gold star! A plus, super plus!

  • Why is Franco writing public blog posts in the Huffington Post about other actors? He isn’t exactly Jack Nicoleson. He hasn’t done anything really noteworthy as an actor but yet he seems to feel he has some type of authority on the field. And speaking of K-Stew, didn’t Franco try really really hard to work with R-Patz? Google it. Now he’s praising Kristin? It’s like if he can’t get to Rob, go through Kristin somehow? Also, someone here said Kristin would stay w/Rob, as if Franco is even an option. He’s TWELVE YRS OLDER than her!!! Way 2 old! No reason for her 2 date Franco. She has a better career & a young bf who is hot & buff and worth $63 million. Why date an older man like Franco when she has a hot, rich, young one w/ a better career???

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