The official trailer for Ryan’s latest movie, Gangster Squad, is here, the movie in which he’s reunited with his Crazy, Stupid Love co-star Emma Stone*. Check it out:
First, let me say that I will probably never look at Sean Penn again without automatically thinking “Scarlett Johansson sex, Scarlett Johansson sex,” and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. You know how sometimes someone can be marginal-looking, and then they have this hot piece of ass latch onto them for whatever reason, and that hot piece of ass makes them hotter by association? That’s what we’ve got going on here, I think (but then again, I haven’t had my first cup of coffee yet, so I could be mistaken on that one). Second. Why is Ryan Gosling using his weenie voice to talk throughout this film? Is his gangster name supposed to be Tiny or something? Will all of the other gangsters in the squad look bigger than he is through trick photography? Or did they think that Weenie Voice would be a stark contrast to Ryan Gosling With a Tommygun? I don’t know. Third? It actually looks pretty decent. Way better than I thought it would, anyway.
*Now here’s what I really wanted to talk about: wouldn’t Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling together—in real life—be the hotness? Yeah, I know that Ryan’s all strung out on f-cking Eva Mendes and her stupid crapbag sense of fashion and what not, and Emma’s hung up on that true weenie, Andrew “Spiderman Dick” Garfield (which I really, really don’t get, because I’m not into pre-pubescent-looking dudes), but if we could peel Emma and Ryan away from their respective significant others for a few minutes in real life, I bet they could hit it off. I really, really do. And then you’d never hear me make any kind of snide remark whatsoever about the lady in Ryan’s life, because I love Emma Stone and I think that Ryan’s just as worthy of her as she is of him. And then they all lived happily ever after, the end.