I don’t know that for sure, and it’s not a real rumor yet, but drugs are the only thing I can think of that would make Courtney Stodden act like the damn fool she’s being in this video. I know she’s supposed to be advertising (???) an energy drink from Happy Bunny, but I don’t buy it. Unless she’s acting like a hyper little girl who’s had too much sugar – which is far, far too creepy and gross to consider this early in the morning (or, you know, ever) – then I’m going to go ahead and say meth.
To further support my meth argument, let me present this video of Courtney dancing to her new song, “Reality,” in her underwear, in front of a stripper pole:
She reminds me of one of the craziest episodes of Intervention I’ve ever seen. It was this girl who lived in a little house that belonged to her dad, and she just drank bottles of a vodka and did meth all day, then at night she stripped. She had these drawn on eyebrows that were always smudged, and she’d ask cameramen and producers to go buy her some booze or to lend her some money for drugs or whatever. She’d get naked and throw food all over her completely trashed house and talk about how she was God. It was really intense and sad. And so is Courtney Stodden.
Oh, and just in case you were still wondering whether or not vegetables can be sexy, Courtney would like to assure you, once again, that yes, vegetables can be sexy, vegetarians have way better sex, and there is little hope left for all of humanity: