The most important thing you need to know about the photos you’re about to see is that Courtney Stodden is not wearing the brass-tone armband. And her arm has not fallen off. And I can swear that there’re permanent indentations on both of her arms from alternating it every other Tuesday. Oh my God. It’s like looking into the eye of a tornado, or the pinnacle of the solar eclipse. I almost can’t even get a handle on myself.
Also, in Photo 4 (in the gallery), are they her knees or her tits? Just can’t tell. In Photo 7, Courtney looks about thirteen years old. Which isn’t all that much of a stretch, considering she was, just four short years ago. Photo 10—look for the return of the armband. Good thing she put it on that arm—the other one was looking a little worse for the wear.
Also, Courtney’s new single, ‘Reality’, is here, and it’s as heavy with autotune as you probably thought it’d be. It’s almost unrecognizable, and there’s just as much stuttering in it as there is in ‘Don’t Put It On Me, Girl’, too. In short? IT’S THE GREATEST.
Courtney says the song is about going clubbing and having sex on the floor with middle-aged men:
“The song is about clubbing and dancing with your sexy partner. To me, it’s a story about lust. It’s about falling in love with someone. Is it in your head, or is it lust?”
The song, in short, sucks ass. It’s as bad as anything you’d hear in the shittiest of discotheques in France, and friends, there are some shitty discotheques in Paris—but don’t let me ruin the experience for you. Check it out for yourself:
What do you guys think? Is it a rilly good song? Is it a rill depiction of falling in lust in a club? Is this song, like, your rill-ality, for rill?
Images courtesy of Celebuzz