Scarlett Johansson took a break from verbally fellating Anthony Hopkins-or-Alfred Hitchcock to speak to the UK’s Independent newspaper for a minute about—wait for it, wait for it—how being sexy in Hollywood has so many downfalls and it’s hard to be taken seriously when you’re just so gol-darn purty-lookin’ and everything, and guys, I think, after reading this interview, that we’ve found an untapped source of pure gentility and modesty here in darling Scarlett. She’s right up there with Megan Fox, and Megan Fox, after all, is practically the pinnacle of self-awareness and righteousness, so Scarlett must be pretty darn excited to be ranked so highly among her peers.
For example! Scarlett on being a sex symbol:
I never wanted to be a sex symbol, I wanted to be a character actor. Those are the actors I mostly admire. I think women that are curvy can be pigeonholed in that bombshell thing. It’s not like I actively look for sexy roles. It’s not a requirement that my character be pretty and delicate. I never think about my character being sexy, unless that’s written in.
And on trying to maintain anonymity despite her fame:
It’s weird to be a recognisable face. I’m not traumatised [by it] but I find it can bring out the worst in humanity sometimes. I’m constantly surprised by how rude people are. You’ll be having an intimate dinner with a friend and there’s somebody on the table behind with a cameraphone pointing at your face. I think, “I would never take a photo of someone without asking.”
On living a “normal” life, despite detrimental physical handicaps like hotness and charm:
When I was younger, my mum made sure I had a relatively normal life I went to school, I had neighbourhood friends, I went to camp. That kind of thing. Also, it was different back then. Recently, the media is unhealthily obsessed with very young actors. They’re very critical of them. … I think I have a little bit of my father’s Danish sense of humour. He has a very dry wit. Being half-Danish, we regularly celebrated Danish culture growing up. We’d have a Danish Christmas. My mother is Jewish but we celebrated the holiday, more as a celebration of Danish culture than anything else. We always went to the Danish Seamen’s Church [in New York] and all kinds of festivals.
On those nosy, nosy people who call themselves—pfft—fans:
I don’t answer any questions about my private life. I’m not a politician or anything like that, so I shouldn’t have to reveal that. I mean, people have enough. They pry so much that some things need to be personal. I feel no pressure. I just feel pressure to show up to work on time. I don’t feel like I have to be a certain way.
And finally, on rumors that Scarlett was initially tapped to play Marilyn Monroe in the recent My Week With Marilyn:
I never wanted to play Marilyn Monroe. I don’t know. It’s just a job – I didn’t have the passion for that. I love Marilyn Monroe. She’s a very underrated actor but it just seemed exhausting in a way that I couldn’t wrap my head around.
Oh, the trials and tribulations of being a celebrated actress with an enviable figure and “record deal.” Life truly is a bitch sometimes, isn’t it, guys?