So if the umbrella-in-front-of-the-body on Easter didn’t convince you, and the constant “Megan Fox is pregnant!” headlines haven’t convinced you quite yet, this here video should just about confirm that Megan Fox is carrying the fetus of Brian Austin Green, or, you know, some other guy.

Megan recently appeared on ET to discuss her new Sharper Image endorsement, where she talked about technology like Craftmatic Adjustable Beds, Bluetooth (Blueteeth?), and, according to correspondent Steve Jones, every tech-man’s dream gadget: a baby. (I know, I was like, “Wow, ET dude, that’s a pretty bad segue into ‘Are you pregnant, Megan’.”)

Megan appeared confused at first, and then, realizing what he was asking, she awkwardly told Steve to go ahead with the question, but when he did, her backstage publicist intervened twice, telling the anchor that they weren’t answering that question. Seems to me Megan was just about to tell him yes, and the rep decided that ET wasn’t big-name enough to announce her pregnancy through.

From the Mirror:

Megan was appearing on the show to promote the Sharper Image gadgets when Steve asked her: “Do you know the ultimate gadget that every man wants? A baby.”

She replied: “A baby? Oh, I know where you’re going with this?”

Steve carried on pushing the topic though and said: “Any plans to give anybody a baby?”

As Megan was saying: “You hear the grumbles. No, no,” her publicist stopped the interview.

Well that was uncomfortable, huh?

Remember we reported a few weeks ago that Megan Fox was probably pregnant? Well I came across these photos of Megan and her “entourage” on their way to Easter festivities this past weekend, and she was being shielded by an umbrella. If that doesn’t say, “I’m pregnant!” then I don’t know what does. No, wait, sorry, I do: a baby bump would say “I’m pregnant!”, unless you’re Beyonce, of course. That’s not necessarily a valid indicator of pregnancy. But this, this definitely is.

In related news, Megan claims that her recent interview with Jalouse magazine was misinterpreted, and she didn’t mean that whole thing about being pretty and not ever wanting to be one of those unfortunate unattractive women. From Us Magazine:

An annoyed Fox took to her Facebook page Friday to clarify her comments. “Sigh. The actual comment, the context and its intention are grossly distorted and misrepresented here,” Fox writes on her profile page, adding that poor translation is really to blame. “I gave this interview in English obviously,” she says. “It was then translated to French and now back into English.”

The actress insists the quotes are completely out of character for her, and says she’s not the type to make the type of “vapid self serving comments” printed by the magazine. In fact, Fox asserts, “[I am] in contradiction…uncontrollably self deprecating.”

Hm. Well, OK. She’s got a problem with French people then who do translating services for magazines. I get it. She’s a pregnant, hormonal lady who’s taking out her frustrations on people who “barely understand” what she’s saying. It’s probably because she’s too pretty, you know.

I was so worried, you guys. I was really scared that Megan Fox was going to stop being so stupid and start being kind of likable. It was weighing heavy on my heart, friends, it truly was. But here’s the good news: I don’t have to worry anymore, because Megan went and said something dumb in an interview! Hooray!

From Us Weekly:

Megan Fox is undoubtedly pretty, but humble? Not so much.

In an interview with April issue of France’s Jalouse magazine, the 25-year-old Friends With Kids star says she’s happy to be seen as one of the sexiest women in Hollywood. “I live well with my image. I cannot complain. I would not trade my place with an unattractive girl.”

Despite her good looks, the actress, who’s been married to Beverly Hills, 90210 alum BrianAustinGreen, 38, since 2010, says she hates participating in photo shoots.

“I hate taking pictures. I never look at them, otherwise I would have to change everything,” Fox explains. “I prefer not to see any and trust the photographer, who knows his job.”

“I live well with my image. I cannot complain. I would not trade my place with an unattractive girl.” That’s the part I want to talk about. Because, ugh, Megan Fox, just shut up. But ok, I get it. No one’s sitting around thinking “man, I sure wish I could be less attractive.” And if you’re Megan Fox pretty, then of course it would make sense for you to be happy with your looks. But why would you even say that? That’s just a shitty thing to say, and I can’t be all that surprised, considering the source, but come on now. There has to be at least a few moments when Megan is talking that internally she realizes that she shouldn’t be, right?

And hey, what’s with the big jump between “I live well with my image,” considering yourself attractive, and “I hate taking pictures”? It sounds like she’s saying that she doesn’t like looking at herself in photos, doesn’t it? Like she’s trying to pull a “oh, I look so awful, please!” when obviously she knows that she looks like a doll. It just seems disingenuous and annoying, and I’m over it. You’re pretty, Megan, we get it. Of course you wouldn’t trade your place with an unattractive girl, but what about a smart girl or a talented girl or a girl with any evident substance at all?

Now that we’ve discussed Megan’s words, let’s go ahead and look at her pictures from the magazine’s photo shoot, all right? You can see her startling inability to make facial expressions and how someone tried to paint mascara tears on her face to give her the appearance of having emotions. It’s pretty crazy to watch.

If she actually is pregnant, then I hope she can just stay inside and be a mom for a while, because I’m getting sick of her again. It’s not that I think she’s a bad person, I just think she should shut her mouth is all. What about you?

From Radar Online:

The 25-year-old brunette beauty and her hubby of nearly two years, Brian Austin Green, are expecting their first child together and couldn’t be more excited. … “They just found out and are incredibly excited,” [said] a source close to the couple. … “It’s still early, so they are only telling close friends and family members. Megan has become a great stepmom, and Brian knows she’ll be wonderful with the baby. [She] has really grown in the past couple of years. Megan used to only be concerned with her career, but now family comes first.”

So Megan‘s going to be a mom, huh? Guess that dashes the fantasies of many a Michael Bay-loving teenager who obsess over Megan night and day.

The couple hasn’t announced anything officially, but it’s probably going to come out now sooner or later. I just hope they don’t wait until Megan’s six months along, sweating profusely, big as a prize-winning hog at a country fair, and eating her way across the United States via roadside BBQ stands.

Story developing!

I know; I really should have given you more of a fighting chance to guess what it could be other than banana men (a day without Botox, her Marilyn Monroe tattoo never going away, never being cast in another decent movie again), but I just couldn’t resist. It was too, too good not to give away myself, and guys, I just love to give. I give and I give and I give, and when it comes to Megan Fox, I don’t even want anything back. Seriously. Keep it all.

Anyway, as I revealed to you, Megan is afraid of men dressed up as bananas, and she discussed the whats and the whys on the Ellen show. Are you ready for the video? It’s good. The story’s entertaining, and the surprise visitor at the end really makes the whole thing worthwhile. Go ahead, watch it:

Priceless, right? Did you see her face when the banana jumped out at her? Oh, hilarious! I thought – just for a second – that we actually saw a real facial expression there, but it was probably pain. I hear that so much Botox eventually hardens in one’s face and if the patient makes an abrupt face (pardon me – tries to make an abrupt face), it can crack and inflict major pain resulting in internal bleeding.

I mean, I’m not a doctor, I just play one on television.

Am I the only one completely tickled to death that it says – right next to Megan‘s flawless visage – ‘What he wants to SEE during sex’? I mean, come on! Duh! This is a no-brainer! Megan Fox would be the answer to that question, but the editors of Cosmo wanted to be all sly about it and test your sensibilities. Did you pass or did you fail?

In her latest interview, Megan’s not talking about international geography thankfully, but she’s talking about something that’s considered maybe even more scintillating: getting pregnant. More specifically, Megan Fox getting pregnant.

Check out these few excerpts from Meg’s interview with Cosmo!

Megan on having kids – and probably soon:

“I want at least two, probably three [kids]. I’ve always been maternal…. I’m a homebody.”

Megan on the whole not giving a f-ck thing and how misunderstood she is:

“It’s because I have tattoos and I say curse words, and apparently, that’s crazy. I think maybe I give off this energy of seeming like I don’t give a f#$%, and that’s misinterpreted. But I’m not wild.”

Megan on *finally* removing that God-awful Marilyn Monroe tattoo:

“It’s dramatic and it’s incredibly painful. They can’t numb it enough to make the pain go away. .. [It's like] your skin explodes.”

On first meeting her true love and soul mate, Brian Austin Green, and how they’ve managed to stay together despite … well, pretty much everything that was designed to tear them apart or whatever:

“I didn’t know who he was, since I was too young for ‘Beverly Hills 90210.’ But the first time I saw him, I got butterflies. And the first time he casually touched me? There was so much electricity. … We’ve had obstacles, and we’ve overcome them. I truly feel like he’s my soul mate. I don’t want to sound corny or cliché, but I do believe we are destined to live this part of our lives together.”

See? She’s totally not the vapid princess type that you all probably pegged her to be. I mean, she wants kids. She’s getting rid of the dumb tattoos. She curses like a trooper, but hey. She’s not wild, do you hear? Finally, she doesn’t think she’s all that pretty to begin with. If this isn’t the catch of the decade, I don’t know what is. Congratulations, Brian Austin Green – you must have one of the  most addictive penises of all time, dude. I bow to your superiority.

Considering all things like, you know, how a penis is a penis no matter what.