Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Jennifer Love Hewitt Has “King Kong” Boobs

Did you guys catch Jennifer Love Hewitt on Jimmy Kimmel earlier this week, or were you too busy watching shows with people who aren’t relevant for a crappy Lifetime series? I know I was busy—there were new episodes of the Octonauts that aired earlier this week, so I’m not gonna lie: I was rapt.

Jennifer was on Jimmy’s show in order to promote her new show, The Client List, which is garnering some OK reviews. I haven’t watched it, so I can’t tell you first-hand, but if there are those of you reading right now who actually have sat down at taken a gander at what girlfriend’s doing on television these days, please share. I’d like some objective opinions, you know?

During the interview, Jimmy tells Jennifer that there are several huge-assed billboards that were taken out by Lifetime, featuring her ample cleavage, and he proceeds to bring in a massive piece into the studio. From there, all hell breaks loose. Watch the video, OK?

The bad things about Jenny Love:
—Her hair extensions are mad crappy. Mad crappy. And because she flat-ironed the hell out of her hair, they’re really, really obvious.
—How delighted she is at the prospect of sending a piece of her billboard tits to her grandma in Texas, because at first, she’s all, “Oh! No! My grandma would be scandalized!” but when it looks like she might get another inch of discussion out of it, she’s all for it.
—The constant crinkly-eyed smiley-ness that seems just plastered on. Does she have Vaseline on her teeth?

The good things about Jenny Love:
—Her left boob.
—Her right boob.
—She’s actually not all that pathetic-sounding during interviews as she is in random sound bites.

Can the boobs actually cancel out the desperate bids for attention? Well, yes. They can pretty much redeem her from all socially-awkward faux pas. Can they overcome those ratty hair extension, as well? No. They absolutely cannot, and I’m not even going to pretend that it’s possible.

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