Woo, girl! You’s on fire! For real, if we took your arms and legs and snapped them in half, they’d make some bomb-ass …. kindling, anyway. It’d burn for about a minute (but no more), because I think you’d actually need some fat in a body to really use it as fuel, but hey. It’s a start.
Ali’s thin, OK? The end.
Now I’m going to make this post about Ali’s sister, Lindsay, because she’s a bigger crotch-gremlin and way more interesting to talk about. I mean, have you ever read an interview with Ali? It’s like watching f-cking paint dry.
So, Lindsay. She’s off probation, right? Good times are to be had by all? Heck yes. You want to know how Lindsay celebrated her newfound sobriety and freedom? By throwing a party at the Chateau Marmont for a zillion of her “closest” “friends”! Last week, it was reported that Lindsay threw a bash that included guests like Nicky Hilton, Brandon Davis, and Kimberly Stewart, many of her old party-cronies. Whee! But guys, don’t expect that behavior to continue. Lindsay’s serious about her career revival and sobriety. From People:
Now that her court-ordered formal probation period has ended Lindsay Lohan enjoyed a relaxed dinner at Café Habana in Malibu, Calif. The actress – who was warned during her recent hearing by Judge Stephanie Sautner, “Stop the nightclubbing and focus on your work” – is slated to appear in an episode of Glee, and she was in good spirits, a source says, as she dined with a female friend.
During her leisurely meal, Lohan kept a low profile and split a guacamole appetizer. For dinner, she had grilled shrimp and simply drank a soda.
What People didn’t say was that Lindsay‘s dining companion was sister Ali. Who she split the guacamole appetizer with and who also ordered filet mignon, fire-roasted peppers, and mashed potatoes, all of which were chewed up and spit out before they could accidentally be swallowed. To drink, Ali reportedly asked for a glass of lemon water, dusted lightly with Miralax.